Sunday, December 15, 2013
My baby turned 20 today. I can no longer say I have a teenager.
I am so proud of this young man. He studies and works hard in school to keep his grades up and his scholarship in good standing, but that is not the reason I am proud of him.
I am proud of him because even though he seems aloof, he is extremely compassionate and full of empathy.
He is so much like me it is scary, but to balance that out he has a lot of his father's wonderful qualities. I know Raymond would be proud too.
Happy birthday son. I love you more than you will ever know or understand.
Monday, November 25, 2013
I was 22 when I got married. I met Raymond in 1977, we go married in 1982. I didn't date him exclusively until my senior year of college, but we had been dating 4 years all together.
Raymond grew up working around the farm, and for others. The only time I knew him not to have a jobs outside the farm was during semesters. During the summers he often worked several jobs.
I started making money working outside the home when I was 10. That is when I started babysitting. I think I always did chores around the house from the time I could walk. It was what you did in our house. You did your part to be help the entire family. I can remember standing on a chair to wash dishes because I was too little to even reach the kitchen counter.
When Raymond and I got married we were fairly mature and knew how we wanted to run our household. Because we only had one car, I didn't work for many months after we got married. We had to wait to see where Raymond would be assigned so my job could be in the same direction. Since I didn't work, I did everything in the apartment, except laundry. Raymond had refused to pony up the extra money to get an apartment with a washer/dryer, so he said he would do the laundry. Every Sunday he got up around 5 a.m. and did the laundry. He would do all the washing and drying, then he would bring it all back for me to iron/fold and put away.
After I started working the chores were divided up. Raymond did the bathroom, I did the kitchen, he ran the vacuum, I dusted. The person who cooked, did not do the dishes. It remained that way until I quit work to raise the boys, then I did all the inside chores, and Raymond did all the outside chores.
Fast forward to 2013. I have seen a lot of 22 year olds get married this year. Personally, I think they could have all waited a few more years. They all seem so immature, and they cannot seem to get this household thing down. It cracks me up, and at the same time makes me so sad.
Marriage is hard work. I worry what will happen to some of these couples when real hard issues come up in their marriage. If they can't figure out how to compromise and get the household chores done, what will happen when there are children, health issues, or financial problems?
Sunday, November 3, 2013
It seems life has gotten away from me lately. For the month of October I was involved in several outreach programs in the evenings and working on a project that took extra time away from my usual duties at work. All of these things were and are worthwhile endeavors, but it has meant many 14 hour days away from the Oasis, and has left me exhausted.
The problem with being exhausted is that once I am home I am too tired to do anything around the house.
Hopefully things will slow down at least in the evenings after this coming week and I will begin to catch up, right before the holidays. Or the big project will become urgent and I will sail through the rest of 2013 without recognizing what happened.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Why is it that no matter how much I try I cannot get rid of my mind baggage? I play stuff over and over again in my head trying to figure out how I could have changed a situation to make it better than how it turned out. Some of these situations happened back when I was second grade.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Saturday night I had two dreams that were so real that I have been dealing with the harsh reality of the truth all week, once again.
In the first dream I was looking at a photo on my phone. The bottom of the photo showed Raymond looking at the boys when the were young. He was looking down at them with such pride and love, and at the top of the photo it was Raymond looking at the boys as they are now, almost eye to eye with him standing in front of the Kroger deli. My dream was so realistic and the photo so perfect that I woke myself up, grabbed my phone and pulled up my photos. It was so disappointing to not find that photo in my gallery.
Later when it was closer to morning I had another dream. I was outside working in the garden with the youngest when he decided to go in the house. After I worked on for a few more minutes I realized I needed to tell him something so I went in the house too. When I opened the door to go back outside there stood Raymond. I asked him where he had been and he reminded me that he had been on a business trip. He said "Don't you remember me telling you about the trip?" I told him he had been gone a long time. He said it had been too long, he opened his arms and I stepped right into them and laid my head on his chest. We stayed that way for a long time. I told him I had missed him and he said he missed me too and was glad to be home again.
Waking up to the harsh reality that he wasn't on a business trip was really hard. It is amazing how we can change reality in our dreams to the point we believe it is true.
Oh how I wish it could be true.