Hair of the Hair

I think I have pretty well established on this blog that I am not a woman that primps a lot. I shave my legs only when they will be exposed to sunlight by wearing shorts. I wear minimum makeup most of the time when I leave the house, and don’t bother with it if I am staying home for the day. I wear my grey hairs with pride. I earned every single one of them, besides I used to dye my hair and it is more effort than I care to make these days. I have one dressy outfit. I own one pair of good black pants for summer, one good pair of black pants for winter, and a few skirts. I have one pair of sneakers, three pair of sandals, and two pairs of slip on shoes. All of which are at least two years old. My standard dress for work is a pair of jeans, and a nice top.

I do shower and wash my hair daily. I always try to look neat and tidy when I leave the house. One thing about looking neat and tidy is always looking for stray eyebrows and facial hair. I check the mirror each morning and night for those stray hairs.

It is due to this stray hair diligence that made it so shocking when I woke up this morning to find a crazy wild eyebrow about two inches long sticking right out of the lower part of my eyebrow close to the top of my eyelid that I KNOW was not there last night. Of course the tweezers came out and I plucked that sucker out. WOW, I do believe that thing was wrapped throughout my nasal passages and around my optic nerve. As soon as I plucked it my eyes teared up and my eyesight was blurry. My nose started running from both nostrils. My cheeks hurt as did the roof of my mouth, and I developed a tic in my right eye. It was several minutes before I could recover. What the heck?

How did one hair cause all that to happen? It wasn’t even one of those nasty white eyebrow hairs that are about an inch in diameter. Well, no matter what I will stay on stray hair patrol. However, the next time I see one of those nasty wild hairs I might have a shot of tequila close by so that I can say it was the shot that caused all the side effects and not a stupid hair. It will be a Hair of the Hair.

I Really Know Nothing About Fashion These Days

Today was quite an eye opener for me fashion wise.

My oldest boy wanted to go to Guitar Center for some sound effects thingy for his guitar. As I took the off ramp from 75 onto the access road there was a woman standing on the shoulder having a flat tired fixed by a man that must have been the driver of the car behind her. She was dressed in a bikini bottom, a pink and white striped t-shirt, and stilettos. She was not young, and she was not exactly thin, not real obese, but certainly could have found another outfit to flatter her figure.

I found it very strange at the time. I was wondering why she was driving around in bikini bottoms. It does not seem to be the most comfortable outfit to drive around in, but what do I know, I don’t own a bikini bottom. As the night as gone on and this sight keeps coming back to me, I have to wonder if maybe she was having trouble getting someone to stop and help her and decided that if she changed into her bathing suit bottom she would have better luck getting a man to stop. I don’t know. I do know she has more guts than I do, and that I would never be able to stand on stilettos on the side of the road, or in the middle of a perfectly level floor.

The other very odd (to me) fashion sight I saw today was in the parking lot of “Guitar Center.” As I was sitting in the car with the youngest waiting on the oldest a woman and her son walked across the parking lot in front of my van. She was an attractive woman, probably in her early 40’s, not extremely thin, but had a very nice shape, and was obviously well maintained by the look of her hair, skin, etc. She had on a nice black top over white shorts, in fact her son was in a black shirt and white shorts too. The big difference was that her white shorts had a design on the back. I could not tell the exact shape of the center of the design, either a bright red heart or a circle surrounded by a circle of green leaves. However, the design was in a very strange place. It was exactly in the lower center of her rear. It made me want a bow and arrow. I really do not know why someone would want to wear shorts that draw attention to that particular spot on their rear end.

I really know nothing about fashion these days except that if bikini bottoms, and big red circles on my rear are it, then I will continue to be unfashionable.

I Think it is a Sign

My brother, who hates earthquakes, arrived in the driveway of the friend he is staying with in L.A. just as the first earthquake in 10 years hit. Seems like a sign to me.

There was also the fact that when he stopped to sleep for a couple of hours in the rest stop on the way there and then got out of the car there was a large snake next to his foot.

If he had paid attention to the first sign, he could have spared L.A. an earthquake.

Nightmares Continue

The nightmares just continue, leaving me exhausted when the alarm goes off each morning.

Last night I spent the whole night planning the memorial service for a man in our church congregation. I was the only one available to make all the plans and prepare the church for the service. I was moving chairs, tables, calling everyone with the arrangements, and then seating everyone when they arrived.

A couple of nights before that I was in a horrible nightmare that involved being in this very dangerous situation with my friends, but I was the only one that understood we were in danger. They kept laughing at me as I asked them to leave the building and get in my car so I could take them to safety. It was one of those nightmares that even when I would wake up and go back to sleep I would end up right where I left off in the nightmare. After several tries of getting some sleep I ended up just turning on the light and reading until the alarm went off in the morning.

The only way I have been getting any sleep is by trying to take an hour nap in the afternoon. That seems to work and it certainly has not kept me from falling asleep at night because I am usually asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I sure hope I can break this nightmare cycle soon.

Very Alone Now.

I said "goodbye" to my brother Sunday afternoon. He left for California. I knew he would leave once my mother either got better and was able to come home, or until she died. I just did not know how hard his leaving would be on me.

I feel very alone now. It is not like I saw much of my brother, even when he only lived 30 minutes away due to Dallas traffic. He has never really helped me with any of my burdens. In fact we have gone for years without ever seeing each other, but no matter what he is my only family. Yes, I have an uncle/aunts/cousins, but we have been away from each other for so many years that we are not really close, we just keep in touch.

Even my oldest realized that once his Uncle left it was just the three of us because he came in and said so, which just made me cry.

I do not want to be alone, and yet I am even though I have two wonderful boys and lots of friends.

It is a hard concept to express in writing, but not in my heart.

Government Coupons for DTV Converter Box

I followed the directions given on the television ad and received my two coupons for a DTV Converter Box, or my "Analog Pass-Through DTV Converter Box" as listed on the box. The coupons were for $40.00 each. The converter boxes are $59.99. They seemed to be that price at all the stores, although I did not check Wal-Mart since I do not shop there. My friend said they had to pay $59.99.

I have not opened the boxes yet, but I have to wonder by looking at the picture on the box if the real price of this item is not $19.99 and the coupons were given out just so the government could say to people calling to complain that they had covered 2/3rds of the cost.

Of course the real "cost" of the box is probably 15 cents.

All I really know is that come February, 2009 all two televisions in the house should still work.

woot!

I love to look at the t-shirt of the day on woot!

My son has bought a couple and they really are nice t-shirts.

Some of the designs are really interesting.

Here is the link: http://www.woot.com/

Youngest Home - YEAH!!!

We picked up the youngest today. Had not seen him in 3 weeks. He is thinner, taller, and his voice has changed some.

I am so glad he is home, not only because I missed him, but because one of the turtle tanks turned over night and really needs to be cleaned out A.S.A.P. tomorrow. I would have made him do it today, but we had a previous commitment tonight and there simply was not enough time to clean that 75 gallon tank. Thank goodness it waited the 3 weeks to turn. It smells like someone dumped a load of manure into my house.

He will probably do the two aquarium tanks tomorrow and the turtle table. We also have one tank to move out since we moved the snapping turtle outside into a pond.

I Won't Be Able to Explain This, But ...

The strangest thing happened today. I was multitasking at my desk and I kept losing this one small note to myself so I stuck it in between my lips until I needed it in the next step of one of my tasks so I would have it immediately. I was typing along when I quite unexpectedly and very violently sneezed with my mouth still holding the note.

I actually thought I had blown my lips off. It was the strangest sensation I can remember ever having after a sneeze. I could not feel my lips. I actually had to reach up and touch them to make sure they were still attached, but at the same time I was really looking around my desk to see where they had landed.

The numbness lasted a couple of minutes, which is about how long it took for me to shake my head and really focus on myself. My eyes felt like the were sticking out of my head, and all the hair in my nose felt gone, but at least I still had my lips and my note.

Laughing, Remembering and Laughing Even More

A friend sent me the "Journal" entry below today. I laughed until I cried.

Tonight I was thinking about this entry and laughing again, when I remembered how irritated Raymond would get with me when I would read Erma Bombeck in bed and would start laughing while he was either trying to read or go to sleep. He just never understood why I could not just read the great Erma without laughing out loud. Just thinking about how irritated he would get made me laugh all over again. I would read Lewis Grizzard and get hysterical. Raymond read him too, but he would just chuckle, and not guffaw like I would at the situations described. I just do not think Raymond could relate to the stories like I could.

I used to read Dave Barry all the time, but lost interest a few years ago. I may have to go back and read him again after the laugh he provided me today.

I hope this makes at least one more person laugh:

DaveBarry's Colonoscopy Journal: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize~winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald;

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point-passing briefly through Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough" reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really. hear anything he said, becausemy brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called MoviPrep,which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordancewith my instructions,I didn't eat anysolidfood that day; all I -had was chicken broth, which is'basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.You mix two packets of powder togetherin a-one-liter plastic jug, and then you fill it with lukewarm, water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPreptastes - and here I am beingkind -likea mixtureof goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you havenot even eaten yet. Afteran action-packedevening,I finally got to sleep.The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic.I was very nervous.Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I wasthinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I hadto sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this,
but then I pondered what would happen if you got your self too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,OOO- foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate.

"You want me to turn it up?'said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking 'Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine' and the next moment, I was back in the other room waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told methat it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. I would say "Cheers"',but some how the expression "Up Yours" had a more appropriate ring to it.

I LOVE THIS!!!

I love the story line and I especially love the music.
http://www.drhorrible.com/

My Current Status on my Youngest's Rating System

I just talked to my youngest. He said SMI is awesome!!! I know for a fact that I would not have found six hours of math a day with 3 hours on Saturday for 3 weeks awesome when I was his age, especially in the summer. I am thrilled that he is so happy.

I am not so thrilled with my current status on his rating system. I am currently #2. So what could possibly top a wonderful mother such as myself? TOILET PAPER!

His current list is as such:

#1. Toilet Paper
#2. Mom
#3. Food

He said that the toilet paper there does not really fall under the definition of toilet paper.

Slept

I slept last night. Woke up very early, but I slept.

Before bed I played games with the oldest until I could not keep my eyes open and then I fell into bed without doing any of my usual routine. I felt better today.

To all of you that are worried about me, and have emailed me. Thank you.

I am Dreading Going to Bed

I am dreading going to bed. The last few nights have been full of nightmares. The slightest noise causes me to wake up and listen. I'm exhausted.

My doctor gave me some Ambien, but I need to be awake enough to deal with the attorney and Mom's estate tomorrow.

I need sleep. I am craving sleep. Please no nightmares tonight.

Ahh, Not Forgotten

Ahh, I was not forgotten. Youngest called around 10:40 P.M. Turns out he did not want to waste any of his free time by calling me.

He was laughing so hard I could barely understand him. He is having so much fun. He and his roommate are getting along, enough so that the roommate yells stuff to me from his side of the room. (Youngest's roommate is the brother of the oldest's roommate during his senior year at TAMS.)

I am thrilled he is having so much fun. I just worry when he doesn't call me.

Already Forgotten

I guess my youngest has already forgotten me. He did not call me on Saturday, even though he had been calling everyday, and now he has not called me tonight.

I know he is having fun at the Math Institute, but I miss hearing his voice.

GiGi and Wolf

Here is a picture of Mom with my oldest nephew when he was here in October, 2007. Mom had a beautiful smile. As beautiful as her smile is in this picture, it doesn't come close to her last one.

Mom had a raccoon coat all her adult life. We drug the darn thing from house to house when I was growing up. She never wore it, but she was very attached to it. We loaned it to my "Sis" one year for a Halloween decoration. It looked great with a skeleton in it. When Wolf was here last year I suggested that Mom give Wolf the coat. To my shock she agreed. Still cracks me up. I think it suits him.

I'm glad Mom got to see him in her raccoon coat.

Thinking About Mom

I have been thinking about Mom tonight and some of the good times.

I was not there when this picture was taken. It was taken in California when Mom was visiting my brother and nephews. My nephews took this picture of Mom, they thought it was hilarious that they had her flashing gang signs. She loved it!



I took this one when she was looking very smug one day:



She really did not look 86 to me.

Miss you Mom.

Gladys Sparks
March 6, 1922 to June 30, 2008

I Have a New Blog

I decided to start a new blog for my quilting projects: www.tortugaquilter.blogspot.com

I Thought We Had A Deal

(To my friends T and J, don't bother to read this post, it is about a spider.)

I was getting ready to go out with my oldest today, and because of a phone call I was running late. I went into the bathroom to put on my makeup and there on the vinyl floor was a huge spider. I looked around and there was nothing to kill it with. I was on the carpeted part of the bathroom. I told Mr. Spider that if it would stay on the vinyl, I would stay on the carpet, and everything would be fine. I also told him he could live if he was gone when I came home.

Well, Mr. Spider did not keep his part of the deal. I came back and there he was right on the wall by the commode. I told him that I was sorry but he would have to take a trip down into the septic tank. I caught him and just as I started to shake him into the commode, he jumped and went behind the paneling.

Maybe he was testing me, maybe he is a thrill junkie, I do not know. I do know that a fly swatter is going into the bathroom and there will be no more deals.

Obscene

My oldest and I went to dinner tonight with my "sister" and her husband at "The Cheesecake Factory." The servings were obscene.

I kept thinking about the second deadly sin: Gluttony.

None of us finished our meals. I ended up eating the avocado, tomato and chicken off my sandwich and left almost all of the bread. I ate about 5 fries. I probably should not have had a cup of soup first, but I kept thinking I would take 1/2 of my sandwich home. Once my order arrived I noticed that it would not travel well, the bread was already getting soggy.

I will admit to ordering a slice of cheesecake, however, I shared it and I had prepared my calories for the day to be able to splurge on the cheesecake.

My oldest brought home enough pasta to last him at least two more meals.

I just wish these restaurants would not serve such obscene servings.

One Comes Home, the Other Leaves

My oldest came home last night from a week down on the Frio River.

Today the youngest left for three weeks of pre-cal. He loves math and he loves this particular place.

I'll miss him, but I know he is ok.