Boring Life Right Now

My life is boring right now.

BFF is sick. Did not get my night out with my Tues. night girls and I won't be able to do Survivor night. I'm just hanging on for the weekend.

I have big plans for the weekend.

Best thing about this weekend is that both boys will be with me Friday night. YEAH!!! The oldest is even going to spend the night so that will be terrific.

Saturday is the Cottonwood Arts Festival. I have no wall space left but if I see something that "speaks" to me, I am not going to leave it behind.

I also hope the three of us can go to a movie on Sunday.

A real family weekend.

Of course, I still hope BFF will be better and we can celebrate her birthday Saturday night, as long as she doesn't bring over any germs.

My Condolences to the Wife

My BFF and I went to dinner tonight at a local Italian restaurant. At the table next to us was a couple probably around our age with an elderly couple. I noticed them when we sat down because the older woman had on a very attractive outfit.

We had not been sitting down long before the younger of the two men asked if he could have the cheese container off our table. We gave it to him and evidently he took that as an invitation to bring us into his evening out. An invitation we could have done without.

What an obnoxious man. BFF thought he was drunk. I did not pay enough attention to him to see if that was true or not, but I was ready for him to quit talking to us. I was also ready for him to quit listening to our conversation. Towards the end of the evening he started reaching out and touching my arm, and he did the same to BFF. His wife just looked embarrassed by him.

I also did not like how he was treating the elderly couple. He was very condescending and seemed to take pleasure in humiliating the elderly gentlemen. I really did want to smack him down.

All I could think about as I left was how much I wanted to give my condolences to the wife for having a cretin for a husband. BFF said she was glad I kept my mouth shut.

One Minute Writer

http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2009/09/todays-writing-prompt-balloon.html
Balloon:If you could attach a message to a helium balloon, release it, and know that it would reach someone who has passed away, what would it say?

L told me about this prompt tonight. She usually posts these on her blog, but she thought of me on today's prompt. She said she knew who my message would go to, but that I would probably need a big balloon.

It is funny that this was the prompt today since I had a huge discussion with Raymond on the way home tonight, and, yes, I yelled a little.

What would my balloon say?

"I love you, I miss you. I am not whole without you, but I am trying to be. I wish you were here. Sometimes I pretend you are. I know I am not being as strong as you asked me to be, but I'm trying so that I won't let you down, especially with the boys. I wish I knew, I pray every day I did not let you down at the end. I wish ..."

The Wind in My Hair

I really enjoyed my drive tonight.

I went to Texas Quiltworks in Rockwall for a lesson from Judy Hall and to purchase some thread. On the way down it was raining on and off, but the trip home was beautiful.

I always love the drive because of the scenery, but tonight the weather was cool enough to roll down the windows, turn up the cd and just act the age I feel, which is about 20.

My "Daughter" Made Me Feel Old Tonight

I consider L & M to be my girls as in my daughters. Tonight they came to see Mamma C and I prepared dinner and then we settled down to watch the season premier of "Survivor." I had a terrific time and I think they did too. There were lots of laughs and knee slapping, along with some shouting at the television.

At some point we were discussing the current news and I mentioned the deaths this week of Patrick Swayze and Henry Gibson. L did not know who Henry Gibson was and I said he was on "Laugh In." L then said she was too young for "Laugh In." That really made me stop and take stock. Unfortunately, once I took stock I just realized that I am getting old.

I could have chosen to be depressed over the fact that I am getting so old that my friends don't have the same memories I have, but instead I just complained that she made me feel old and continued to have a fabulous time with my girls. In fact my sides hurt from all the laughter.

Part of the time we were planning L's outfit for when she goes on Survivor and how I could sew secret pockets for soap, toothbrushes, etc. L and/or M would be great on Survivor, but M would have to learn not to show her displeasure of certain things so much on her face.

I wish my BFF could have joined us but alas she was spending quality time with her family. She missed a good meal of chili with the fixin's, deviled eggs (for L & M cause they love them), grapes, and brownies. Hopefully she will come by for leftovers tonight or tomorrow.

Ratty Robe Picture Voted Down

I was looking at a free online site last night where you could post your information and meet members of the opposite sex, same sex, whatever for different reasons such as friendship, IM and email pals, dating, hook ups ... As I read some of the profiles of the men looking for friendship and their pictures I realized that if I were to post on this site I would have to post a picture.

My BFF thought I should use the picture that I have on my Facebook page, we also looked at some others that my oldest took recently. I vetoed those pictures.

As I sat and thought about what I would like in a male friend I realized that what I want more than anything is someone that will accept me as I am, and therefore I should just post a picture of me in my ratty robe. Well, my Pastor/Boss/Friend and BFF voted that down immediately. They said I definitely could not put a picture of that robe on the internet.

I don't know why I can't put a picture of me in the robe on the internet. I sewed up almost all the holes, and the robe does paint the picture of who I am at the end of the day.

I definitely would not do a glamour type picture for posting. That would really be a lie.

It does not really matter. I am not going to post, but I had fun with BFF reading the profiles.

Paul Shearer and Brian Holland

My BFF and I went to my church tonight to see Paul Shearer and Brian Holland play their guitars in their Circle Concert Series. To say they played their guitars is a wrong description. I don't know the word for what it is they do to their guitars to make the beautiful music that they made but it was fabulous.

Of course, I haven't heard Paul play in years without breaking into tears and tonight was no different. Raymond loved to hear Paul play and Paul was one of the musicians at Raymond's memorial service, so when Paul and Brian played a particularly beautiful piece of music tonight all I could think about was Raymond and how much he would have enjoyed it and I started sobbing. Then I cried through the next two songs before I got it under control.

One of the things I love about Paul is he understands. So at intermission when he came down to give me a hug he knew exactly why I was crying.

Paul is having another concert in October, and I can't wait.

Homesick for KY

Ever since I went to Bryan's on Sunday I have been homesick for KY.

I haven't been back since 1997 and even then once I got there I was ready to come back after four days as that is about how long it takes me to do my usual sightseeing and hikes.

I have only kept up with one friend there, and most of my blood relatives have died. Raymond's parents are still there, but that visit would probably only take a half day.

Fishing can be done in states much closer.

There are a few places I would like to go and just sit and look at the lake.

I would definitely have to go to Cumberland Falls for a couple of hours.

Targets

As L can tell you I hate to set goals. I do not like the word "goal." It is a guilt thing. If I set a goal and don't reach it then the guilt eats me alive.

When I started thinking about the boys moving out I knew I had to have a plan or I would end up reading, quilting, or watching television and not accomplish the things I really want to do now that the house is mostly mine. However, I did not want to set goals and set myself up for days of guilt, so I set up targets.

My main target each day is to do at least one hour of anything around the house that does not involve reading or quilting. Some nights I clean out closets or drawers, other nights I might clean the bathroom or kitchen. Not all targets are about cleaning, some are simply playing a different game on the internet or Wii.

Tonight my target was to start on the laundry room. I worked on the laundry and cleaning out the clean clothes and sweeping the floor. Tomorrow I hope to start on the cabinets. I am setting myself up to be totally indifferent to everything in the each cabinet so that I won't keep anything because of an emotional attachment. There are cabinets in there I have not opened in years, so the emotional attachment can't be that strong.

The night's I meet my target I feel excited and successful. The night's I don't meet my targets I just think of all the fun I had doing something else.

It is funny how one word can paralyze me, whereas another lets me move on through life.

Bouncing Back and Forth

I keep bouncing back and forth as to whether or not I want to start dating.

My main issue with the idea is that I have no idea where to go to meet a man other than internet dating and that costs money.

I guess I could go to a bigger church, but I don't like big churches

Bars are out.

My hobbies do not necessarily attract men.

I do not want to go back to night classes.

The list just goes on and on and it all boils down to the fact that I am not interested in working at meeting men. So I guess that means I will not date.

However, I miss talking to a man, going on hikes with a man and sitting next to a man in a movie theater.

Labor Day Weekend

I enjoyed being with my boys over Labor Day.

I picked the youngest up from TAMS on Friday and then he and I ran an errand on the way home to pick him up some necessary items for his dorm room, including 42 cans of Annie's Cheesy Ravioli that was on sale $1.00 a can. We then came home and made spaghetti and watched dvd's.

Saturday there was an emergency at the church so the boys and I went over there to get things back on track. After getting the emergency taken care of we went to Mimi's for breakfast, followed by Target and a couple of other stops.

The youngest has friends over later on Saturday, and my BFF came over for several hours.

Sunday I stopped by a friend's house as he and his wife were having a get together. I did not stay long as I am not much of a party person. When I got home, the boys and I hit the 20% off everything sale at "Half Price Books" and then the sale at "Entertainmart." After wearing ourselves out shopping we stopped for dinner and then came home to play games and watch dvds.

Monday was a lazy day with the boys followed by taking the youngest back to campus in the evening.

The traffic coming home was horrible. I was glad my oldest went along for company.

It was very hard to get up and go to work this morning.

Great Weigh In Tonight

I had a great weigh in at TOPS tonight. I know that part of the loss because I have been sick, but even without that I have really been trying to lose weight.

I spent a good portion of this year not really trying, but I have had a change of attitude and I am really trying now. It helps living on my own.

I am not going to stress over every up but I am going to really enjoy each down, and tonight was a big down. YIPPEEE!!!!!