Proud of Myself

Tonight I felt like I had been unfairly personally attacked during a meeting.  My first reaction was to get up and walk out, but since I was there specifically to support a friend, I stayed and performed the task I had been assigned.  I stayed, but I was MAD!

During the few minutes in the meeting where I could let my mind roam, I thought about how I should handle the situation.  Since I have a very fun weekend planned, I didn't want to ruin my weekend dwelling over what had happened.  I wanted to deal with the situation tonight.  

The meeting ran until after 10:00 P.M.  I waited until most everyone had left the building, but when there were still witnesses to what I wanted to say, I confronted the person that had made a the statement that felt like an attack.  It felt good. 

I made sure that the people that were still there understood why I was so upset:

• I felt there was no need for the comment to have been made directly to me, singling me out over the other 11 people in the room.
• I was totally embarrassed in front of people that do not know me and might have gone away with an impression of me that I did not deserve.
• I also stated that this was not the first time this person had accused me of this act, and that I wanted to know when I had ever done what they suggested.

Of course, the person I confronted assured me that I misunderstood what they meant. The witnesses said they did not take the statement the way I did, and they would never think that about me.  I asked them what the other people at the meeting that did not know me might think and they gave me a lot of fluff.

I said no matter what, I was not leaving without having my say so that I could enjoy my weekend.  

When I arrived home I called someone that was at the meeting.  I told them what I did.  They stated that they totally felt that I had been called on the carpet when it happened and did not understand why that happened and that they were embarrassed for me.  

That validation made me feel even better about what I did.  Now I can put it behind me and move on. 

I am very proud of myself.

African Mango?

I would like to thank all of you that called, emailed, or posted comments to voice your concern over my allergic reaction. 

What caused it?  Well the only thing I had added to my routine that was different was the supplement African Mango. I was taking it to curb my appetite.  I read about this supplement in Science News, read Dr. Oz's comments and did lots of research before trying the supplement.  I started it on Friday, and I had the reaction on Sunday night.  Therefore the PA told me to quit taking it.  In fact she said the following:

 "I am from Africa and I have no idea what an African mango is."

"People in Africa are skinny because they have no food, no fast food,
and no cars, they walk every where."

I am not sure this is what caused the reaction, but I won't take any chances with finishing the bottle.

Why am I not sure, because I had really worked myself into a full blown anxiety attack due to some stress I was under and was worried about Monday morning.  

Today, even with the high dose steroids, and really staying to foods I know I have no issues with, I started breaking out in welts, itching, and my palms turned brilliant red when I came under great stress again.  My feet even turned brilliant red and welts came up on the sides of my feet during a meeting tonight.

So no more African Mango. 

That was Scary

I had a little scare Monday, Sept. 26, 2011.

It all started Sunday night when I had some itching on my hands and scalp.  I wasn't worried that happens all the time. 

I went to bed, slept until about 3:30 A.M. when I woke up with violent itching.  I got up to look for some Benadryl only to discover we didn't have any other than the spray and cream kind.  No pills!  I used some of the spray and cream but it only seemed to make everything worse.  I went back to bed.

I woke up again around 6:30.  There was noticeable swelling in my hands, and large welts around my waist, bra line, back, and arms, but I thought once Walgreen's opened and I was able to get Benadryl pills all would be fine.  I mean I am always having odd reactions to things.

By the time Walgreen's opened my hands were a little bigger, but not so much as to cause me distress.  I bought the Bendryl, and then drove to work, it took me about 15 minutes.  By the time I walked into the building and my office, my hands were so big that I couldn't open the package, my boss did that for me.  I still wasn't worried because I thought I would take the Benadryl and all would be well. 

I started my work day with my usual Monday morning routine, but my hands continued to swell.  In fact they were swelling to the point that the skin on my fingers started breaking open.  It was at that point I felt like other parts of my body were not right.  Namely my ears. 

A friend walked into the office and was quite shocked.  She suggested that she take me to the hospital, but I said that I would be okay once the Benadryl kicked in and kept working. 

It wasn't more than 10 minutes before I realized that my lips were tingling.  My friend came back and said she wanted to take me to the hospital.  I still refused.  More and more people were coming into my office and saying you need to go to the hospital.  I continued to say "no."

I went into the bathroom and looked at my ears. One was quite large.  I still wasn't too concerned.

As I kept working, my hands continued to swell, as did my ears, and the welts were getting worse.  My friend once again said "Let me take you to the hospital."  I decided to call my doctor instead.  They said to come right in, so my friend and I took off for the doctor's office. 

As we were driving down the road, I felt my face getting bigger.  I asked my friend and she said "Yes, it is getting bigger."  I said should I look in the mirror and she said she "didn't think it would be a good idea." 

When we arrived at the doctor's office there was no wait.  I was to see the Physician's Assistant, a woman I just adore. While waiting for the PA, the nurse asked me some questions.  As I was answering the questions more and more welts were coming up on my arms and legs.  The nurse said I was making her itch. When the PA came it she was obviously trying not to react to how I looked.  She asked me some questions about my change in routine, and then listened to my lungs, asked about my breathing and said she was giving a large dose of steroids and prescribing a steroid pack.  I said okay.  I was still swelling and welting at that point.  I told her I hadn't looked in the mirror lately but was told it was not pretty.  She told me she would not have recognized me, and I probably would not want to look in a mirror yet.

The nurse came back in and gave me a shot in my upper backside.  After she gave me the shot she said "Oh, you are bleeding.  People don't usually bleed from a shot there."   There were a few awkward moments while she held pressure.  I had to tell her that I tend to bleed.  (Just ask Loni.)

The PA came back in and listened to my lungs again, and took my oxygen level.  Gave me instructions, and then told me to go home.  I informed her I had to go back to work as we had a very important deadline to meet.  She said she thought I should go home.  I then told her I would be alone at home. She said go to work, so that if I had breathing issues someone would know.  

My friend took me to Target to drop off my prescription, and then back to work.  I continued to swell throughout the day, even though I had the shot and 2 doses of Benadryl.  

After work I went home to the couch.  I took a short nap and when I woke up the swelling started to go down in my hands.  That was quite painful.  Don't know why it was that painful, the the decrease in swelling hurt a heck of a lot more than the increased swelling.  

Loni came home and made me a can of soup I wanted, and I had a PB&J sandwich.  We watched television and I continued to dose myself with Benadryl.  Once I hit the bed, I was out.  

I woke up Tues. morning with my hands normal, my ears almost normal, but I had welts on my eyelids (which I did not have before) and welts all over my legs.  I still itched, but not as bad.  I had to put band aids all over my hands where my skin was opened and I took another dose of Benadryl before going to the office.  

I still have a weak feeling in my chest, and welts pop up once in a while, but I think I am on the mend.  

It was scary, but I had lots of people looking out for me, so I feel very blessed.

New Hat, Green Hat

Mina remembered that I was looking for a green hat and she found the perfect hat for me when she was in Florida this week.  She gave it to me yesterday so I will be able to wear it at Trek Triathlon next Sunday.

I love it!

Fat Girls Guide

I found this blog the other day when looking for a new hairstyle. I didn't exactly follow all the advice about a cut because I did go pretty short, but I kept fullness at the top. 

I have only read a few articles, but I have enjoyed what I have read, and I like the title. 

http://www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com/

It is the Simple Things

As I went through my day today I realized that I get the biggest kick out of some of the simplest things. 

A sign on the side of the road made me laugh all day.  What did it say?

                      "I don't skinny dip, I chunky dunk."

Every day I check the top 100 free books on Amazon.  Every time I find a new one that interests me I get excited, even though I have so many books on my Kindle it will take me years to catch up.

A green trash can on clearance...pure joy.

A travel bag that might me just the perfect thing for Alaska ... I was skipping out of the store.  I didn't make the purchase, but I know that it is out there. 

Reruns of Frasier, my shows returning for the fall, my child coming home from school for the weekend, a new quilting magazine, an upcoming arts festival...makes me smile all day. 

Dinner and a Movie

Sunday, I manned the bake sale for a community event put on by the church where I work. We had a petting zoo, pony cart rides, slushees, fall wreath activity table, fire hose fun, live music, prize drawings, and the bake sale to benefit the local animal shelter, and HEAT!

It was a very warm day.  Not 110 degrees, but mid 90's and where I was sitting, no breeze.  I was there for three hours, and even though I tried to drink lots of water, it wasn't enough.  By the time I got home, I was miserable and recognized a fibromyalgia attack coming on. 

To help me celebrate the completion of an event that I have been working on for so many months, Loni took me out to dinner and to a movie. 

We ate at Mimi's Cafe where I had the Asian sampler.  I know it is weird thing to choose at a place like Mimi's, but they do an excellent job with this dish and it doesn't cause me any digestion issues.  You just have to remember to eat the pot stickers before they get cold.  Loni had a grilled cheese and corn chowder.

After dinner it was on to the movies. We went to see "The Help."  I read the book, but held off on seeing the movie until I talked to enough people that had read the book and seen the movie to know  the movie held true enough to the book as to not ruin the experience.  It is an wonderful movie.  The acting was outstanding! Bryce Dallas Howard played the perfect Hilly, and Emma Stone has a talent for making subtle little movements that really express her characters emotions without speaking.  You could see the movie and skip the book, but that would almost be a criminal act because in the book you  get to know all the characters well enough that you can feel their experiences.  The movie would have to be several hours longer to allow that same experience as the book, but the actors could have pulled it off.  

Dinner and a movie were the perfect way to unwind, and I am so glad I was able to see "The Help."

Rare Treat

Yesterday was full of rare treats.

I spent the late morning and early afternoon with my adopted daughter, Mina.  Months ago she agreed to bake for the church bake sale we are having today. Mina has such a crazy travel schedule I barely get to see her, but I do enjoy time with her.  I offered her my kitchen to bake in so we could spend time together, and on the off chance she could study.  She did not get to study, but she made lots of goodies for the bake sale and we had some great quality time. 

Late in the afternoon, I was able to have an early dinner with my two boys and my other adopted daughter, Loni.  Since I have not actually laid eyes on my oldest since the second week of August, it was very nice to see him, even if I think his hair is too long and there was a strange moment at the table when I thought he had lost all the manners I had drilled to him over his life at home (turns out the chicken tenders were really hot). 

At dinner, my oldest informed me he was coming back up to the house to get a television stand and television I had in storage for his apartment.  I questioned how he planned on moving these items to his apartment, since I knew they would not fit in his car in one trip and I knew he would not drive with the trunk tied down.  He assured me he could at least get one thing per trip.  The youngest then said he would come back to the house to help his brother load the items into the car.  I then suggested that they both just go back to the house with me in the van, which would hold all the items, and I would deliver them both back to campus, if they were willing to run my two errands with me first.  The vote was for me to bring them back to the house in the van. 

They were able to the television, the stand, a bicycle, and more clothes into the van and spend a few minutes relaxing.  The oldest was pleased to have furniture to sit on for a few minutes since they only have a folding chair in their living room.  The youngest was able to get the water bottle I begged him to take when he moved out.  Everyone seemed to leave happy. 

I hope that my visits with my oldest won't be so far apart, but after hearing his schedule it will probably be weeks and weeks before I see him again. 

The youngest should be home again on Friday. 

STRESSED

That pretty much says it all.

Wow I Know a Lot of Great Teenagers

I have wonderful boys.  One of the benefits of having wonderful boys is getting to know the wonderful people they know. 

This evening I had the pleasure of experiencing how special two of my youngest's friends are and it was such a delight.

I had a call this afternoon from a friend of my youngest.  He asked me if I could arrive at their house at 5:00 as it was his mother's (my friend, Laura) birthday.  Now I have tried forever to get Laura to tell me her birthday and she never would.  I told him I would be happy to be there to celebrate with them.

When I arrived at 5:00, my friend Kathy was already there.  It was just Laura, her husband and two boys, Kathy and myself.  Which was just perfect because Laura is not the type of person that would have enjoyed a big surprise party.  

As Laura, Kathy and I sat around talking, her two sons, one a high school senior and the other in eighth grade, prepared the table. The boys had made each of us a beautiful bowl of salad, and then offered us shredded grilled chicken for a topping.   They had also poured us all a glass of a strawberry drink.  After the salads there was a sampler tray from On the Border, followed by a chocolate cake from Kathy.  

Laura opened her gifts after dinner.  I gave her a gift card to buy embroidery thread for her new sewing machine, Kathy gave her a horse book, a drawstring bag she had made Laura, the leftover fabric from the bag, and some paper/fabric crafted bookmarks. Her family gave her a beautiful horse book, and drawing/painting books on horses. Laura is currently working on a canvas of horses, and needed more details about their muscles.  

It was a very pleasant time, completely arranged by her two amazing sons.  I am so blessed to know these teenagers and they family. 

Crazy Doves

I cannot figure out what is up with the doves in my backyard. 

For the last 2-3 weeks they have been lining up on the telephone line and then taking turns flying in at my window and then sliding glass door.  One by one they swoop down at the window, get as close as they can, then veer off to the left and see how close they can get to the sliding glass door and then go back to their place on the telephone line.  Usually one of them ends up hitting either the window or the door. One day 10 doves were lined up and 3 hit the window. 

It is like they are playing a game of "chicken" or something.  It is the weirdest thing.  

Yesterday, I had the youngest out putting up a new bird feeder when all of the sudden two doves rushed out of the tree.  At first I thought they were going to attack him, but no, they headed right towards the glass door.  The one in front hit the door really hard.  It went backwards after the hit and then after dropping quite a few feathers it started flying until it landed on one of my shepherd's hooks, where the second dove attacked it.  It all happened in a matter of seconds, but was fascinating to watch.  There were a lot of feathers left under the shepherd's hook, but both doves seemed to be okay when they flew off towards the field.  

Maybe all the heat this summer has left the doves rattled but whatever is causing them to play these games, I wish they would learn to wash the windows.

Way Out of My Comfort Zone

I like my comfort zone.  It keeps me on an even keel.  No anxious tummy, no growling colon, and no tension headache.

Lately I have had to do so many things out of my comfort zone that I feel like (sorry to be so graphic) I may hurl on someone's foot at any moment.

Comfort Zone: Talking to strangers.  I enjoy talking to people and finding out about them.

Out of Comfort Zone: Gong up to strangers and asking them for a favor. (Think posting advertising flyers.)

Comfort Zone: Going to a district meeting and having my boss introduce everyone in the group.

Out of Comfort Zone: Having to announce my name, what I do, etc. at a district meeting.

Comfort Zone: Having a job to do, being in control of that job, having a checklist and knowing deadlines.

Out of my Comfort Zone:  Being in charge of something I am not "officially" in charge of, but being told that it is up to me.  Excuse me!  How did that happen.  Talk about anxiety.   

Comfort Zone: Taking any trip in my own vehicle where I can take anything I want with me, leave when I want, stay longer in any one place than planned, buy whatever I want and be able to haul it home.  The security of knowing that if something happens I can sleep in my vehicle.  

Way, Way, Way Out of Comfort Zone:  Knowing that I will be taking a trip where I am at the mercy of others.  I know that the planned trip to Alaska is not until May but I am freaking out.  Planes, Ships, Excursions all where I am not in the driver's seat and I can't take all my stuff with me.  I think I might need medication for this. 

Big Fish, Little Fish (Cardboard Box)

My youngest started it!

 

Good Labor Day Weekend

I have really enjoyed my weekend.

Since I don't work on Fridays, I spent Friday finishing a quilt top, then backing and sandwiching it for quilting.  

Saturday, following a request by the youngest, it was donuts for breakfast, followed by some errands, quilting, and a late lunch with Loni and the youngest, a trip to JoAnn's, and then more quilting with some television.

Sunday I got up and scrambled fresh eggs and fixed bacon (surprise - the youngest does not like bacon). Then I quilted most of the day while watching Ally McBeal.  I forgot how much I loved that show and the music. Why I forgot I don't know, since I have Vonda Shepherd's cds.  There was a little porch swing sitting, but it was pretty windy. 

Today, Monday, I woke up to beautiful cool weather.  I opened the windows and door and made buttermilk biscuits from scratch for breakfast, and then I sat down and finished reading Hush.  I plan on binding my quilt today, and then either on to another quilt project, or work on the hand quilting I have to do...but I need a different color of thread.

I am looking forward to a 3 day work week, even though I know it is going to be a really tough one with 2 major meeting next week, and knowing I have to be out of the office for over 1/2 a day later this week for a training class.

Requests from a Picky Eater

I IM'd with my youngest last night.  He had three requests.

1. Could I tell him how to get to a Wendy's from campus, that wasn't too far.
2. Could we eat at Chili's this weekend since he would be coming home. 
3. He thinks he would like to try bacon, but only if I wanted some in case he wouldn't eat it.

My youngest is a picky eater, probably a freaky picky eater.  He spent his two years at TAMS only eating pizza and cereal.  When at home he eats the following:

• Cheese Danish
• Eggs and Cinnamon Toast (but must be in the mood)
• Mac and Cheese (if in mood)
• Toaster Struedels
• Waffles
• Spaghetti (another mood dish)
• Pizza
• Sonic Grilled Cheese
• Chili's Corn Dogs
• Joe's Cheese Pizza and Rolls
• Crescent Rolls and Honey
• Homemade biscuits
• Pancakes from pretty much any where
• Wendy's plain cheeseburger and fries (No other burger will do)

That is pretty much it other than snack crackers, chewing gum, and the chocolate Loni spoils him with.  

This is a huge improvement over the years where he ate nothing but banana or vanilla yogurt, but now his diet is loaded with carbs, most of them from white flour.

This bacon thing has thrown me for a loop.  Of course I will fix some for him, but I cannot imagine him liking it.