Two New Family Members … Another Lesson Learned

Yesterday, May 12, 2007, we welcomed two new members into our family. Rostropovich and Galina, Russian tortoises, that we hope will live to a ripe old age and enjoy living with us.

Russian tortoises are not cheap. My son had a garage sale in the spring and made a little over $500.00. He put aside $300.00 of that garage sale money to buy these new pets, and to provide a tortoise table for them. We have called the pet stores weekly asking if they had received a new shipment of these creatures. Yesterday, his dream was fulfilled; PetSmart in Plano had two Russian tortoises and two Greek tortoises (even more expensive). Off we went to pick them up before they could be bought by anyone else.

We fell in love with Rostro and Galina immediately, made the purchase, and headed home to a busy day of an orchestra party, shopping, and visiting with my mother for Mother’s Day. As we were off and running from place to place, I realized that something seemed off. I started talking to the boys about the price of the tortoises and the supplies we bought for our other pets and how much the bill had been when I signed the credit card receipt. Something didn’t seem right to me.

When we stopped to buy gas, I looked at the bill. Sure enough, the girl had only charged us for one tortoise. My first instinct was to be mad, especially when I saw what it cost to fill my tank. When we checked out at PetSmart we had a purchase receipt that clearly stated two tortoises. I told the girl there were two tortoises in the box, and the manager said to her, they are buying both of them. I was not in the mood to spend the gas on another trip to Plano, and we were on a very tight time schedule.

I asked my youngest what he thought we should do. His answer was he didn’t know as he wasn’t sure what the “ethnics” should be in such a case. (He corrected the word immediately, but we still had a good laugh.) I told him I thought he knew what was ethically correct. We then had a good discussion as to our options. My youngest said that if we did not report the error then we would have to name one of the turtles “Criminal.” Unfortunately, we were not able to solve the problem immediately as he had to be at his party at 1:00 p.m.

When I picked him up from the party, I told him we were going to call Rocky at the pet store and report what happened. My youngest said he was glad. So that is what I did. I called and asked to speak to Rocky, and explained our predicament.

Rocky was very appreciative. He said very few people would have called. I told him that would be sending the wrong message to my children. I then talked to another man who was also extremely appreciative. We were able to handle the transaction over the phone, and they are mailing my new receipt.

So no tortoise named “Criminal,” a good lesson learned, and we all slept well last night.

Now my children know that I am not always so ethical when it comes to mistakes made at stores. I can think of another incident this year where I did not report the error. I bought two identical t-shirts at a store. One for each boy, since they do not go to schools remotely close to one another, they do not mind having identical shirts if it is something they really like, and matching tee’s come in handy for trips to Six Flags. I told the cashier that there were two shirts when I sat them on the counter. She grunted something I thought sounded like understanding. When she rang up the shirts, I told her I didn’t think she got both of them. She grunted again. I then got to talking to the boys, paid the bill, and left the store. When we got out to the car and I checked my receipt, I noticed that she had only rung up one shirt. My emotions immediately ran to the angry side. The boys asked me what I was going to do, and I told them I was going home. I felt as if I had done my due diligence in trying to pay for the shirt. I rationalized to them that it was a clearance item and that the store did not give me the sales price on another item the previous week, so it was almost a wash. I told them it was the store’s fault because they needed to train their help better. I also told them that I would have probably gone back in if the cashier had been nicer, but I did not want to go and try to go through the customer service department to pay for something that I had made an extra effort to pay for. Not a proud moment as a mother, but there you go. My anger won out over my ethics.

So as I write this on Mother’s Day, I hope that in the end my boys will remember my more ethical moments, and forget the angry cheating ones. So far they seem like they are going to take after their father and be outstanding citizens. Me, well I will probably have to take some lessons from the boys.

Ruby: A Novel by Ann Hood

I wanted to read this book and like it. It is the second book I had found of Ann Hood’s and I was looking forward to digging in.

The book is about Olivia, a new widow, and Ruby, a pregnant fifteen year old. It started out just fine, but then as Ruby started discussing her drug use and her sex partners I found myself weary and discouraged. The book was just relating what is happening in the lives of many teenagers in our country, but I find that to be so sad.

It was a good book. Lessons learned; yada yada. I just came away wondering what will become of the young people of this world.

A side message to all of my friends that tell me to quit reading books about widows. I have always read fiction books that deal with real life issues. It is reassuring to read books about widows in my age range. I don’t know very many widows close to my age, so I can relate to these characters in the books I read.

The Rock Orchard by Paula Wall

I was really enjoying this book. The character development was such that I could identify with several citizens in the town of Leaper’s Fork and their fascination with the Belle women. I had several good chuckles, just like the reviews had promised. I was totally there in the town watching the characters interact, into the gossip, and wondering how the main characters would solve their dilemmas when wham, bam it ended. What a train wreck of an ending.

I hate it when it seems as if an author just got tired of writing a book and wraps everything up in just a few pages. This book is 244 pages long. I would have gladly read another 100-200 pages just to have walked the path with these characters as they fulfilled their destiny. Instead, I am meandering through the town watching everyone start to find their place in life when whoosh, Paula Wall sends in a tornado and seven pages (some of those only half pages) later the books is over. Everything is wrapped up nice and neat, but I didn’t get to take the journey with the characters. So dissatisfying, so many lost laughs and tears. Sigh.

I’m glad I read it. I just wish I had stopped seven pages before the end.

White Haired Barry Gibb… The Magic is Gone

Barry Gibb - I’ve had a crush on him since “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” came out in 1978. I had always liked the Bee Gees’ music, but since I had limited access to television and didn’t have any of their albums, I didn’t know what he looked like until that movie came out. My crush on Barry became a joke between Raymond and me because I must have gone to see that movie about seven times, once with Raymond as my date.

Last night Barry Gibb was on American Idol. I was so shocked to see his silver-white hair. My youngest started laughing when I complained. He said “Mom, how old are you, and how old do you think he is?” The brat.

So onto the internet I go and discover that Barry Gibb is 60 years old. He still looks good, but I miss the dark hair. I think the problem is not that he is older, it is the hair color. I do not find men with blonde or light colored hair attractive. His silver-white hair is so light it immediately turned me off.

I do admire the fact that he is aging gracefully and not trying to hide his age. Older men that try to look like they are still 30 irritate me even more. My youngest said that I just need to own up to the fact that I’m getting older. I told him he had to own up to the fact that he has a mean tongue on him and he is going to grow up to be like me.

Barry Gibb, I still love you, but I think when you perform on “American Idol” tonight I will look at an old picture of you on the internet so that I can remember my younger days, and when Raymond and I were dating. I’m banning my youngest from the room.

How … Discouraging

I went to the doctor last Tuesday morning to get my blood pressure checked and to make sure my new meds were working. While I was there I discussed the fact that despite the fact I am walking approximately 20 miles a week, eating between 1300 and 1500 calories a day and have added lots of fiber to my diet, I am still unable to lose any weight. She suggested that I have my thyroid rechecked, and I asked them to check my cholesterol again since I was trying to go without taking any more medicine.

Yesterday, the doctor’s office called, and the news was not good. The thyroid test was good. My cholesterol had gone up about 30 points, and my blood sugar was above normal. Very depressing. My blood sugar has never been above normal. There is a family history of diabetes and heart disease. I must get this weight off.

So now I am taking new cholesterol medicine, along with another drug to see if I can get back on the right track.

Getting healthy is discouraging when you do everything the books tell you to and you just keep going backwards.

I go back in 8 weeks to see if anything has improved.

The Knitting Circle by Ann Hood

I loved this book.

It is about Mary and her grief over losing her child. It is about Mary finding a way out of her grief.

I liked an idea she muses about in one stage of her grief. She thinks there should be a "Grief 911.” A number to call to have your grief fixed and your heart mended. I don’t think I would want it the way it is described in the book, but I would sure like to have a number to call to make my grief all better.

Why did this book touch my heart? Characters with lines like:

“I always thought I was blessed with this perfect life. And now this.”

“Sometimes, someone, you don’t know well is the best listener.”

“…the listener finds solace in the act of listening.”

The lines about listening reminded me of M.D. Anderson. Sometimes I would have to wait hours for Raymond’s tests to be over. While I was waiting someone else that was waiting would strike up a conversation and the next thing I knew they were telling me about why they were there, and what was happening in their lives. I was always shocked by how many people I met whose spouses left them when they were diagnosed with cancer. However, I did find solace in listening because it let me know that we were not alone in our battle.

May

I'm finding it very difficult to get through each day of this month.

I had a wonderful time with my youngest yesterday. We went to the Live Green Expo in Plano, Texas and learned so much. He was fascinated by all the different ways to live "green" and he asked some excellent questions at the booths. He also couldn't believe that they gave out free stuff.

After the Expo we went to Wells Bros. Feed Store and signed up for their drawing and he received a stuffed animal. We then went on to a pet store, Sprouts (where we bought his favorite, corn on the cob), Target, another pet store, and finally the library. We laughed, talked, teased each other. It was a terrific six hours.

Then we went home. Home where I did not have to concentrate on traffic. Home where there were no distractions like whether or not to buy green or red pears. Home where he had a project to work on for school. Home where I had a chance to reflect on how much Raymond would have enjoyed the Expo. Home where I am constantly bombarded by flashing pictures of Raymond.

I see Raymond sitting in the kiddie pool with the boys when they were young. I see Raymond mowing the field on the tractor he loved so much. I see Raymond sitting at the table playing chess with one boy and then the other. I see Raymond hunched over in pain. I see Raymond laughing at some crazy plot we have thought of with regard to whatever issue we are all rabid over, even though we would never follow through. I see Raymond lying in that hospital bed in the living room having an anxiety attack because he couldn't remember why he was confined to the bed. I see Raymond painting in that hospital bed. I see Raymond looking at a snake in a tank that my youngest has brought in and placed in the hospital bed to be researched and admired. I see Raymond dying in that hospital bed. I see Raymond gone in that hospital bed. I see Raymond's body being taken out by the mortuary men, with the face uncovered because they thought we would like to see him again, even though we have been sitting with the body for 4 hours waiting for them to come and transport the body for the Willed Body Program.

At least the pictures are mixed between happy, sad, and bizarre. It doesn't matter though because they all make me anxious. I don't know how I will get through this month.

My friends are all sympathetic. I appreciate each one of them, but they can't help me through this.

On May 31st it will have been one year. He is not coming back.

I don't understand how this happened to us. I see these pictures in my mind of us happy and doing the best to raise wonderful boys that will be responsible citizens. I know how good Raymond was and I see how evil other people are and I don't understand.

I tell myself I need to get through May. I'm not thinking about June. I really won't get through May, if I don't think June will be better.