I Hate School!

I just returned from dropping the youngest off at school. We left early to avoid the horrible first day of school traffic. It worked getting there, but getting out was a mess.

I hate that school is back in session. I really enjoyed having my boys here with me. We have so much fun and so many laughs.

I had that lovely three week break from them this summer and that was enough. They could stay home a few more months before I would be ready to get another break.

The other thing I hate about school starting - the bureaucracy of it all. I hate the specific school supply list, the sports meetings to relay information that could have been covered in a one paragraph email, and the endless busy work projects that take up my son’s time when it would have been just as easy to assign a project where he would have been able to better his research skills.

If that wasn’t a long enough list of what I hate about school starting, there is something else I hate even more - the teacher that grades in an arbitrary and capricious manner. He had a teacher last year that based grades of projects on the ones that were most elaborate. It did not matter that he had met every requirement on the assignment, if someone put one out that looked as if they had a Master’s in Art, then they got an A and all others were based on that project. It was very discouraging to him. Could his projects have been more elaborate, or course, but the assignments did not justify spending that much time and extra money on in order to top all the others. He took his only ever B, despite having made high A’s on every test, and learned another life lesson.

I hate school!

Purple Haze

Went to Denton today to see the oldest. Enjoyed listening to Brave Combo's "Purple Haze - The Jimi Hendrix Polka" on the way up. Also listened to the "Spamolot." The youngest would rather I not listen to "Spamolot" since I like to sing along, and, since I have a tin ear, I imagine it must be awful for him, but too bad, I was having fun.

Dagwood Dagger

Meet Dagwood Dagger, the Ornate Wood Turtle that joined our family tonight. He is beautiful!










The markings on his back look like a dagger. Very personable, and a great climber.

Van Teen Talks

I discovered a long time ago that the best place to talk to my teens about sensitive subjects is the van. Sex, peer issues, or any other subjects that can bring embarrassment to either the boys or me is best discussed with my boys when they do not have to look right at me.

I try to be very open with my boys about sex and the consequences of premarital sex. I also talk to them about their responsibilities if they choose not to abstain until marriage. Sometimes what I say makes them scream. Sometimes the questions they ask make me want to bury my head in my arms and cry. However, since we are driving down the road, those options are not available, and we end up with an honest conversation.

Yesterday, circumstances allowed me to drive my oldest an hour back to school with just the two of us in the van, and we were able to have a private lunch together. We had a wonderful conversation, and yes, there was some discussion regarding personal relationships, but most of the discussion was about religions, and how did he see the afterlife. It was fascinating. I loved his view of things.

Since we were discussing the afterlife, we finally had a short discussion about Raymond. My boys do not discuss their father very much, and when they do it is usually a very funny memory. Yesterday, my oldest and I were able to briefly touch on Raymond, and I was able to answer a few questions for my son. It gave me hope that we will be able to discuss Raymond more and more as the boys deal with their grief.

I look forward to my next van ride with either or both of my boys.

What a Blessing

I moved my oldest into his dorm room yesterday to start his senior year of high school at college. It was very bittersweet.

This morning I took my youngest to orientation to begin his school year on Monday.

Needless to say the emotions started to swell, along with the questions. I am constantly questioning myself as to whether or not I am doing right by the boys. As I drove down my road, a young hawk took off from a neighbor’s fence and flew right next to my passenger’s window all the way to my driveway. It was such an amazing and glorious sight.

I have mentioned many times that I think Raymond comes to me as a hawk. Today Raymond let me know that he was still with me. He was letting me know that he is right in the passenger seat next to me, helping to guide me through raising the boys.

It was such a blessing. I could feel my thoughts start to ease immediately. My heartburn went away, and a peace flowed through my whole body.

The Peanut has Grown Up

My oldest leaves for school tomorrow. I am folding his laundry for him while he is at work. Several of the t-shirts were Raymond's from when he ran in 5k's and participated in bike events. I folded one that had the date of 1986 on it. It is still an ok t-shirt to wear around the house, or to work in the yard. No holes, tears, or stains.

It is hard to believe that the little peanut that Raymond used to carry around the house every night after work, and sit up with when he had colic, is a senior in high school, and wearing Raymond's old clothes.

I'm very proud of him. I know Raymond was proud of him.

I Love a Good Sunset

Sunset on August 19, 2007, Lucas, TX



I love a good sunset. Last night's was pretty.


As I turned to come in last night, I almost stepped on a bunny rabbit. He had come up from behind me and stopped right next to my shoe. Guess he likes sunsets too.