Saturday, January 26, 2013

Eerie

This happened yesterday, Friday, January 25, sometime between 10:45 and 11:30 A.M.  I was home alone.  Doors were locked.

Yesterday morning I got up, made a nice breakfast of soft boiled eggs and wheat toast, and then settled in to do a little work on my redwork block for quilting class while catching up on my recorded shows.  

On my television stand top I have a collection of glass items that are green, including a pretty cross my boss gave me one year.  She purchased it from an artist at Huffine's Art Trails.

The cross is really not close to the edge, and I can't really watch television without noticing the arrangement on the table top.  

Around 10:30 A.M. or so, I decided to go get a shower so I could go out and take care of my grandcat before too late in the day.  When I left the room to go to the bedroom side of the house, the room looked liked this:
I know this for sure because as I was working on my quilt block I was trying to decide if I needed to vacuum the living room this weekend.

When I got out of the shower, I wrapped my hair in a towel, put on my towel wrap and came back into the living room to cool off and look up something on the internet.  I sat down on the couch and pulled up my browser and then something on the floor caught my eye.  It was the cross, upside down and undamaged.
As you can see nothing else was disturbed on the table top.

A message? 

I did text my boss to see if she was okay.  She was.  

The whole thing is eerie.  


Friday, January 25, 2013

So Appropriate, So Pointless

Some of us have been shouting about certain things.  Nothing ever changes, except more lies.



I've been silent for much too long
Now I'm telling everybody what's been going on
It's time to shout now it's time to scream
It's time to wake up from this bad dream

I'm gonna shout till the devil gets on his knees
Shout till the angels say pretty please
Shout till I feel it runnin' through my veins
Shout till everybody thinks I'm insane
I'm gonna shout now, oh
I'm gonna shout now, oh
I wanna wake up

I've been broken and I've been bruised
I've been lied to and I've been used
It's time for dignity it's time for pride
It's time to get out what's been brewing on the inside

I'm gonna shout till the devil gets on his knees
Shout till the angels say pretty please
Shout till I feel it runnin' through my veins
Shout till everybody thinks I'm insane
I'm gonna shout now, oh
I'm gonna shout now, oh
I wanna wake up

I'm gonna shout till the devil gets on his knees
Shout till my angels say pretty pretty please
Shout till I feel it runnin' through my veins
Shout till everybody thinks that I'm insane
I'm gonna shout now, oh
I'm gonna shout now, oh
I wanna wake up

Monday, January 21, 2013

Another Hole In My Heart

I have another hole in my heart now.  My friend John passed away at 1:45, January 20 while listening to Magical Mystery Tour on his play list.

I know there are many people feeling the loss today. John was a wonderful son, brother, and a friend to many.  I know that I didn't know him as well as most, but I still considered him my friend and a good man.  

From what I know of John through our conversations, I find it totally appropriate that he left us during Magical Mystery Tour.  I know I will never hear that song again without smiling and thinking of John.

RIP my friend.  


Roll up, roll up for the magical mystery tour, step right this way.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up (AND) THAT'S AN INVITATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up TO MAKE A RESERVATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away,
Waiting to take you away.

Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up SATISFACTION GUARANTEED, roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away,
Hoping to take you away.

A mystery trip.

The magical mystery tour.
Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up (AND) THAT'S AN INVITATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
Roll up TO MAKE A RESERVATION, roll up for the mystery tour.
The magical mystery tour is coming to take you away,
Coming to take you away.
The magical mystery tour is dying to take you away,
Dying to take you away, take you today.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Not A Bad Week

If you take away the fact that John entered hospice this week and I have cried pretty much all day ever day, it really hasn't been a bad week.  

John entering hospice was not a surprise for me.  For someone who has been through it, I knew it was coming. I kept praying I was wrong, but in my head I knew that his fight was almost over, and my heart has been breaking for his family and friends.

Taking away the sadness though, the week has been okay.

Monday night I attended a Redwork Quilting Class.  Redwork is not really something I enjoy, it is a little old-timey for me, but it is pretty mindless and since I had finished my handwork I had at the house it has filled my late evenings.  A lot of great people in the class, along with a very interestingly bizarre lady so the conversation from the evening has kept several of us entertained throughout the week.

Tues. was dinner with Mina and Loni, always a joy.  

Wed. night I came home and worked on projects around the house.  One night I worked in straightening up my bedroom. I still had Christmas quilts, stockings and table toppers piled up in there to be hung for next year, along with odds and ends to be put away.  I also cleaned part of the bathroom.

Thurs. night I worked on the laundry room.  I just about have it completely cleaned out and all laundry done.

Yesterday, Friday, I went to see a friend to finally exchange Christmas presents, ran some errands for the quilting class instructor, stopped to see a couple of other friends, cleaned out the pantry, scrubbed down the kitchen and mopped the floor, and then met Stan, Mina, and Loni for our regular Friday night dinner at Los Charros.  Once home, I worked on the laundry room some more and then spent the evening embroidering on my quilt block for class.  

Today I am scrubbing down the rest of my bathroom, finishing up with the laundry room, and hope to start on the game room.  I also need to find the skein of floss I lost yesterday to work on my quilt block.

The youngest should be home at some point today.  I am anxious to hear about his first week of the semester.

While I was working on my quilt block I was able to catch up on most of my evening shows.  I was very happy with who won Project Runway All Stars.  I hate the new judging panel on American Idol.  Scandal was interesting.  I am losing interest in Revenge.  The rest were pretty much noise in the background.  
On FB, Jeff has kept me entertained most of the week with little funny messages everyday to cheer me up.  Randy and I have come to an understanding regarding our relationship which has put us both in a good place. I love that I was able to reconnect with Annette.  Cindy and I had some good laughs, and I learned my cousin's son has a book out and holding book signings that some of my other cousins are attending. 

My cough is slowing down some.  Still bad when I talk very much or laugh.  Hoping it will stop soon.  Always takes me a long time to clear out my lungs after an illness.  
Tomorrow morning will be a family breakfast at Mimi's before the girls make their annual trek to Hawaii.  

Yes, taking away the sadness and the heartbreak of knowing another good man is leaving us, it was not a bad week.

Next week: Another installment of the quilting class, and Nana duties for Mocha. 

Friday, January 18, 2013

A Difficult Week

A friend entered hospice this week.  I met him through Loni.  I have actually only seen him face to face once, but we have sent messages back and forth of the years and I don't think I am wrong when I call him friend.

Today's news is he only has hours left.  He fought a brave fight against sarcoma.  He was actually treated through the same clinic as Raymond at M.D. Anderson.  That is why I ended up meeting him.  Before he made his first extended trip I had lunch with him and gave him some notes and ideas of what it was like to be a patient there.  

He is loved by many, and will be missed probably more than he ever expected.

My heart goes out to the family.  Having gone through this process, I know what they are facing.  
 
I know it has been hard on Loni too.  They were good friends.  

Yes, a most difficult week.

Monday, January 14, 2013

At Least Dinner is in the Fridge

I really don't feel like going to work today.  Not because I am still too sick to work, but because I want to stay home.

At least I won't have to fix dinner when I get home.  Laura brought me homemade chicken soup yesterday but because I had a late breakfast out with the youngest and then had dinner out with him and Loni yesterday I haven't eaten the soup yet.  It will be a nice ending of the work day before I go back out to a quilting class tonight. 

I am not looking forward to the lesson tonight at all, but I will enjoy being with the people. 

Sometimes I Wish

Sometimes I wish my brain would shut up and I could just follow a piece of my heart.  Of course, that would be a disaster.  

I still love you. ("Close Your Eyes" by J.T.) Sweet dreams.  

How do you answer a text like that when you know your brain will never let you love back equally?  

I didn't. There is nothing to say that hasn't been said.