What Day in Your Life Would You Re-live?

I saw this survey recently and I am torn between two days.

One was in 1997 when Raymond took a bad fall. The doctors always questioned us about injuries to his hip and I always wondered if he would have developed the cancer he did if he had not fallen. I think I would relive that and prevent the fall if I knew he would not have gotten the cancer. That is always in the back of my mind. I was not there when he fell. Maybe I could have prevented the fall if I had been there. I should have forced him to go to the hospital. I do not know, but the question is always there in my head. What if he had not fallen that day?

If I knew he was going to get the cancer whether he fell or not, then I would relive the day he died. I have always regretted that I did not crawl up in the bed with him and hold him while he was dying. I held his hand. I held his hand for days and days, but I never held him. I was too afraid. They had so much trouble keeping the subcutaneous needles in to give him his morphine. His port had stopped working, and there were so few ways to get the needles into his veins. The needles were always popping out and the nurses would have to come and put them back in so he would not be in pain. I think if I had to relive it over, I would have found a way to hold him while he was dying. I would have asked the nurse to find a way for me to do that before she left to wait for the call he was gone.

I went over other days in my life, but I think these are the two that haunt me the most. These are the ones that I ask Raymond to forgive me for almost on a daily basis.

Another Household Mystery Solved

Household Mystery Number 105 - Solved!

We were rearranging the house today and Household Mystery #105: the Mystery of the Missing Frog was solved.

Under a bookcase, dried and covered in dust bunnies, and definitely dead was frog number 1 from the kitchen tank. I'm glad this mystery has been solved because I was getting tired of opening everything with only one eye open for fear of finding the carcass.

BFF Night Out

BFF Jill and I had a girl's night out last night. We went to the new Olive Garden. It was very good. The Caprese Flatbread was just oh so wonderful.

Stopped at Home Goods. Should not have tempted her like that, but she was good and only bought what she needed. I bought some sheets on sale, new glasses, and two new reed diffusers, and a cute coffee cup for BFF J so she can think about me when she is having her coffee.

After all that fun we came home to Quirkle (I won!) and she did a little Wii Fit with us, and then watched me box and ski.

I love our evenings together. Lots of laughs.

Oh, I'm the One Making that Sound

It is so much fun!! Thanks to Stan (Mina's Man-husband) I now have a Wii Fit. Any time I cannot find something from one of the game companies I turn to Stan. He knows where to go.

I am having so much fun with it. I am trying to do 45 minutes a day, but I am usually dong an hour because it is so addictive. It is fun to be able to get up and move with company (the other miis) without feeling like I am being judged. Last night I unlocked boxing and advanced boxing. That was terrific. I also unlocked some more balance games etc.

This morning when I rolled over to get out of bed I kept hearing this strange sound, I paused to really listen and then realized it was me going "ow, ow, ow." I definitely am using muscles I haven't used in a while.

Another great benefit is that my youngest does it with me. We have laughed and laughed and laughed (at me).

Thanks Stan!

Finally A Time I Can Listen

My oldest is finally on the radio at a time I can listen. 4-6 on Fridays.
http://radio.utdallas.edu/tuner/

Still do not know most of the music they play.
Sample playlist from last week and part of this week:

Time Album Artist Song
Friday 23 January 2009
16:25:36 Speakerboxxx/The Love Below outkast Love in War
16:19:41 To the 5 Boroughs Beastie Boys Ch-Check It Out
16:15:35 Guilt by Association Vol.2 Various Artists I Kissed a Girl
16:13:21 The Sad Thing Is, We Like It Here Shaimus Like a Fool
Friday 16 January 2009
17:56:34 the best of the doors The doors Touch Me
17:52:36 The Way I See It Raphael Saadiq Sure Hope You Mean It
17:48:52 Angles Dan le Sac vs
Scroobius Pip Thou Shalt Always Kill
17:42:27 Kala M.I.A. Bamboo Bangaa
17:38:30 Just a Souvenir Squarepusher Planet Gear
17:37:36 Mali Tinariwen Amassakoul'n'tenere
17:29:10 Alpinisms School of Seven Bells Chain
17:27:55 Thy is a word feet need lamps Half-Handed Cloud You Get a Horseshoe
17:21:11 Just a Souvenir Squarepusher the coathanger
17:17:56 Le Tigre Le Tigre Deceptacon
17:10:36 Axis: Bold as Love Jimi Hendrix You Got Me Floatin
17:09:26 Shallow Graves The Tallest Man On Earth Honey Wont you Let me In 17:09:07 Garden Ruin Calexico Letter to Bowie Knife
16:59:51 hell yeah Horrorpops kool flattop
16:53:07 Sinister Ducks Sinister Ducks March of the Sinister Ducks
16:48:43 Alpinisms School of Seven Bells Half Asleep
16:45:17 The Hustle, The Prayer, The Thief A Night in the Box The Thief
16:38:42 Om Shanti Om Om Shanti Om Dhoom Taana
16:36:14 the score fugees manifest/outro
16:31:51 proVISIONS Giant Sand Stranded Pearl
16:26:55 Time Traveller Moody Blues Tuesday Afternoon (Forever Afternoon)
16:17:10 With a Cape and a Cane the Joggers Wicked Light Sleeper
16:12:12 The Woods Sleater-Kinney What's Mine is Yours
16:07:59 Unknown Harry Belafonte Jump in the Line

It is fun to hear stuff I have never heard of before. I even like a lot of it, not enough to buy, but I like to jump around to the music while I listen. It is nice not to try to pry my eyes open long enough to listen to his 12-2 a.m. show this semester.

Loni and Mina are in Hawaii. There are being very good girls and checking in with Mamma C often. Loni sent this picture today.

Salt Pond

Very Enjoyable Reading

I just finished reading three books by Whitney Lyles:

1. Always the Bridesmaid
2. Here Comes the Bride
3. First Comes Love

I found these books to be very enjoyable for two reasons:

1. I knew the characters in these books. Many of them are just like some of my friends, past and present.
2. These books made me laugh at loud.

These were great escape books. Thank you Ms. Lyles for a few days of fun.

Nice Sunday

Today is the last day before the oldest moves back to campus tomorrow, so we made it a big family day even though he comes home most weekends.

We slept late, and then I made French Toast.

After breakfast we digested while playing the new Yahtzee (I won after rolling 3 Yahtzees in the game). Then while the oldest showered the youngest and I played Quirkle. I don't know why it is that when the youngest and I play we end up with such closed boards.

Quirkle board 1/11/09

It was such a beautiful day that we decided to go down to Bob Woodruff park in Plano and take a little hike on the unpaved trails. We hiked around and took pictures for an hour and a half before heading to Chili's for dinner. After dinner it was a stop at Kroger's for milk (where I ran in to librarian Becky, always a treat), and then home for a game of Quirkle with the oldest.

There were several very tough moments for me today because Bob Woodruff is where Raymond and I hiked a lot when we first got married. It was also a place we took the boys when they were young. I got through it without tears, so that is progress.

Images from Bob Woodruff Park, Plano, TX 1/11/09

"Promises of Change"

I finished Joan Medlicott's "Promises of Change" today. It is the latest novel in her Covington series. I couldn't stop reading it, and then I had to mourn when I finished the book. Every time I read one of her books and finish it I feel the same way. I hate leaving Cove Road and the ladies and their families. I can't wait to read the next one.

If you have never visited Covington, I recommend you take the trip.

Pleasant Day

I had a pleasant day. Slept late after my bout with my IBS last night.

Got up and played Quirkle with oldest. Then sat down to read.

My friend Laura called and I told her about a sale at the quilt shop in Wylie. We agreed that I would pick her up around 2 and we went to Wylie and both got a couple of great bargains. While we were there we ran into Laurie from Parker working on her holly for her 12 Days of Christmas quilt. She had emailed me she was having problems with the holly, but it looked great to me. Laura and I also stopped at the "Twisted Pepper" where I bought some raw honey for the youngest.

From there Laura and I went to the new Home Goods store in Allen, and the Target before heading home. I was trying to find a stainless steel electric skillet for my oldest.

After I got home the boys and I played that new Yahtzee game and then we made dinner. The oldest had a job this evening and the youngest went with him. I enjoyed my evening by watching some more of my "Six Feet Under" dvds. The boys came home and I was still in the middle of one so they went into the playroom until it was over. (The youngest is not allowed to be in the room when I am watching those dvds. He calls it my porn.)

Now I am off to maybe play a new game my oldest just bought. It will depend on how interesting it sounds to me. No reason to ruin my pleasant day.

Well, It Was Not a Coke

BFF Jill and I had a girl's night tonight. We went to dinner and, even though it was a restaurant I eat at frequently, I had a reaction to my dinner. A reaction means many long trips to the bathroom and it makes me very weak and tired. My stomach finally calmed down and Jill and I were able to have some fun, but after she left it started up again.

I finally told the boys were were heading to Sonic and I got a small Sprite. It seems to be helping and I should be all better in the morning.

I never ever know what is going to set me off, but I have a feeling that tonight it was because I ate a raw carrot before we left for dinner, and then I had a salad. Lettuce seems to really bother me lately. I had some on a sandwich last week and was sick all day.

Still it was great being with Jill. I had enough magazines here to entertain her as I ran back and forth to the bathroom, and when I wasn't in the bathroom I was beating her in a game of Split. I beat her bad. (HAHAHAHA Jill)

Sad Evening and Morning

We lost two Russian Tortoises, Sergei died yesterday, and Rostro died some time during the night after being quarantined and given medicine.

We are all sad.

Galena is the only Russian we have left, along with two other tortoises. I think she is sick of us looking to see if she is getting sick. She has always been the biggest of the Russians, but she is not social like Rostro and Sergei. She likes to stay hidden.

We will all miss Rostro and Sergei.

Mood Food

BFF Jill stopped by tonight for an unexpected visit. It is amazing what even a short visit from a friend will do for your mood. Better than any chocolate.

Thanks Becky

Raymond's cousin Becky sent me this link today. I really enjoyed it and decided to share.

2008 in review

On January 6, 2009 I Completed My First Quilt

Yes, I have several quilts in different stages of being completed, but today, January 6, 2009 I actually finished a quilt and it is already being used. I completed a frayed edge "Bricks Around the World" for my oldest.

Yeah me.

I'm Going Mad, Mad I Say

There is a terrible odor just in one little section of my entry into my kitchen/laundry area. It is driving me mad. At first I thought it was in the garbage, but no, we took the garbage out and cleaned the cans. I have cleaned. I have searched. Nothing.

Finally my youngest said it reminded him of a dead mouse smell, and then I realized that he was right. So now I am obsessed. There is nothing in any of the traps. There is no sign of any recent mice activity. The smell is in a very open area. There is nothing I can find that is making the smell.

I get up about every five minutes and look. I think the smell is fading, so maybe it is in the wall.

Sometimes I think I need to move to a place like "Highland Springs" and be done with older house owning thing before I do go completely mad.

"Frost/Nixon"

The boys and I went to see "Frost/Nixon" yesterday. It was excellent.

During that part of history, I lived in Nancy, KY. The only paper we received as a weekly local, and we only received PBS clearly on the television, and a very snowy NBC channel.

The only thing I remember about Nixon's resignation is that Mom and I were listening to it when Dad called to say he wasn't feeling well and may be coming back to KY from South Carolina early. (Dad worked in three states, KY, OH, SC.)

Mom and I left for Ohio the day after Nixon resigned. Dad headed home, only to become extremely ill in Tennessee. Very long story short, Nixon resigned on Thursday, Mom and I went to Ohio on Friday, by Saturday evening Mom was in Knoxville, Tennessee where dad had been transferred and they were not sure my Dad would live through the night. He had a bleeding ulcer that they could not control. Surgery removed 2/3rds of his stomach. He "died" three times on the operating table. There were many complications, many weeks in the hospital, many more trips to the hospital with emergencies for the next year. I was a sophomore in high school, and my life revolved around what was happening with my dad, and trying to deal with the fact I was living with acquaintances of my family while Mom was with Dad in Tennessee. I was not aware of what was going on in the country.

The Nixon/Frost interviews were aired in May, 1977. I have no idea if Mom and Dad watched the interview when it was aired. I cannot remember when our television reception improved, but we still only received a weekly local paper. I graduated high school in 1977 so I doubt I was paying attention to anything else going on around me.

I know that my parents always voted, and that my Dad really kept up with local politics because of his business, but I don't remember big political discussions in our home, just talk about certain candidates. I do know that Mom always enjoyed talking politics with Raymond, and that once they moved to an area with cable Mom and Dad seemed to really keep up with world news. So it may have just been the isolation factor those first few years in KY.

I also remember being assigned to a debate in English class. I had to prove Nixon a better president than JFK. I won. I remember that my the whole premise of my argument was that JFK had probably abused his power too, but just had not been caught. I backed it up with the rumors of his affairs outside his marriage, and stated that if he did have affairs that showed he did not take vows and oaths too seriously. Of course, this was the last semester of Freshman year and Nixon had not resigned yet.

I found the acting in Frost/Nixon to be remarkable. I went back when I came home and watched some of the clips of the original interview. I am sorry I was not more aware of what was happening at the time. The older I get the more I realize how much has changed in my life, and I hope some day to be able to tell (and bore) my grandchildren with all that I have witnessed.

Still Drinking

Well the boys were right about me overestimating how much Coke I could drink before I stopped. I still have five in the fridge. I will hopefully finish those by Monday and then I will be done. Quite frankly I am getting very sick of them. Yesterday I didn't even finish one. That is a good thing.

I don't think I will notice the caffeine withdrawal headache too much since I have been having sinus headaches all week.

Not stressing over the fact that I am still drinking Coke though. I drank water at the restaurant last night and I have a new 3 Liter thermos to fill with water to take to work each day. I figure if I can finish that thermos each day before bed, I won't have room for Coke.

Big Accomplishment (for me) and Very Nice Evening

I hate doing paperwork, I particularly hate doing paperwork that leads to bigger things. So today, after I don't want to admit to how many mistakes yesterday on the paperwork, my youngest and I went to get our passports. The boys are going to Costa Rica this summer and the youngest did not have a passport. I did not have one either and decided I needed one in case I needed to get to Costa Rica if there is an emergency, certainly not because I want to travel. I had everything in place and made my oldest double check before we drove up there today. There was one little glitch once we started the process, it was getting the woman to understand that yes my youngest had a father on the birth certificate, but no the father was not present, but I was presenting a death certificate. She still wasn't getting it, so I finally had to say "His father is DEAD." I hate saying that, but she did finally get it and we moved on. As usual my picture is horrible, but my son's is cute. That was a big accomplishment for me to get that all done.

Tonight I went out with Sister "T" for dinner and a movie. We went to Nate's Seafood and then to see "Doubt." Excellent movie. The acting is terrific. The cinematography was excellent. I particularly liked how many times the name Raymond came up. Very appropriate since this would have been our 27th wedding anniversary. It made me happy.

Came home to play Quirkle and watch Life on dvd.

Very nice evening.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year one and all!