What My Parents Taught Me

I made a huge purchase yesterday. One I have been considering for a couple of months. One that I researched, and one that L researched for me. It is a purchase I almost backed out of until yesterday morning.

What did I purchase? A Bernina 830 sewing machine.

This was a very hard decision for me because it was not cheap, and it was something entirely for me. Yes, I bought a Kindle 2 this year with money I had saved, but this purchase was in a completely different category.

I have been looking at this machine for quite a while. I have visited several dealers, I have called others, I have read the information on the internet, and I had even used a computer simulator. Intellectually I was ready to make the purchase, however emotionally I was very distraught. It was a lot of money to spend on a hobby I have not been doing that long.

I talked to quilting friends. I talked to friends. My 93 year old quilting friend asked "What are you waiting for? You aren't getting any younger." A lot of people were saying go for it. My youngest told me he thought I should go for it because "You are happiest when you are quilting."

I still was not sure.

I set up a demo with the dealer I knew I would buy from if I purchased for Saturday, July 11, 2009. I enlisted my boys to go with me to listen and be able to tell me if I had understood everything I was told. (Lucky for them, and a blessing for me, L offered to go in their place.) I was taking steps, I just had not chosen the exact path.

I spent the night before using the simulator, watching demo videos, and writing down a couple of facts. I was ready for the demo, but not ready to purchase. In fact I went to bed thinking that I would take the demo, but I would not make a decision any time soon.

Sometimes when I am in that stage where you are waking up, but not yet there, when your eyes are closed, your body is relaxed, but your brain is just starting to think, I will hear a voice. Ninety eight percent of the time I recognize the voice, sometimes I do not. Most of the time the voice is just calling my name as if it wants to draw my attention to something. Yesterday I woke to the voice.

It said "Get it!" After that several memories came flooding back to me.

My parents had a little nest egg in the bank for the last 20 years of their life and they would not touch it. My mom would dream of the wonderful sewing machine she would have one day, but she would not touch that money because she may "need" it one day, even though sewing was her biggest passion. My dad always wanted another houseboat or pontoon, but they did not buy one, and then he was too sick to enjoy it. They wanted to travel, but waited too late and were only able to get in a few trips before dad could not travel safely.

My mom kept their last car 20 years, and the inside roof was falling in on her head before she got rid of it. She could have bought a new ones years ago while she was still able to drive, but she did not want to touch that money. In fact, mom could have had a much nicer life after dad died but she would not touch that money. Why? Because my parents had always talked about leaving a little something for the kids.

Raymond would beg my mother to do something nice for herself with some of the money and she would tell him that if she spent it there would not be anything for her old age or the kids.

When my mom died last year, she had almost the same amount of money she had before my dad died, and I was given half and my brother was given half. When I put my half in the bank I decided then and there it would be my mad money, and I would spend it on things I would enjoy, but then with the economy, and such, I decided I would just put that mad money on hold.

I decided yesterday before getting out of bed that I was going to remember what my parents had taught me. I was going to enjoy my life's passions, especially if it wasn't taking anything away from the family. I was going to go to the demo with an open mind, a checkbook, and the attitude that if it was what I wanted, then it was going to be what I had. My parents sacrificed for me to have a little mad money, and I am going to honor that gift.

Hopefully, I will pick up my Bernina 830 next Saturday. I also will be receiving shipment of a nice cabinet, and I have some lovely accessories.

A big thank you to L. She gave up her Saturday to go with me, write notes, guide me when I was placed before a big wall of colored thread and told to pick 30 colors (She would not let me get 30 different greens), and was a terrific moral support. She did not hover, she did not try to convince me of anything, she just made sure I stayed focused, and that I had my questions answered. She was the perfect big ticket item shopping mate and I will be forever grateful. Plus she might get a little something nice made on the new machine.