Whole New Outlook

I have posted before about finding old friends on Facebook and how wonderful it is to be in contact with so many people from so long ago.  It has been great fun to reconnect with all of them, but only one person from the past has really made a huge impact on my outlook on life.

He was one of my very best friends, and may be the only other person in the world who knows me almost as well as Raymond did.  We never dated, but we did, and do love each other.  

Until reconnecting around Thanksgiving, 2011, we have had no one on one contact since the week before my wedding.  I kept up with him for years through my parents, and then my in-laws, but he dropped off my grid about ten years ago.  He in turn knew when Raymond got sick, but did not know what happened afterwards.

Now here we are back in touch, and it is as if we were never ever apart.  He still knows me, I still know him, and we make each other smile. 

We are slowly catching up on the 35 years since high school.  He is happily married, has three children, dotes on his six grandchildren, and still lives in our hometown. 

Since finding each other again, we have not missed a day of catching up.  He makes me laugh out loud at least once a day.  We both believe we are blessings in each others lives, and we mourn the fact that we were apart for so very long.  

Having this wonderful male friend back in my life has really made me remember just how much I miss having a man to share things with on a daily basis.  I had pushed those feelings so far down that I did not think they would ever see the light of day again, but this man brought them out again after just a couple of weeks.  I told him I did not know whether to kiss him or curse him.  

He reminds me on a daily basis that I still can have great love in my life because I am worthy of love.  He brings out the joy in me and makes me feel like having fun again. Through the stories of how much he loves his wife, he reminds me of what I had with Raymond and could have again. 

He has given me a whole new outlook.  Now I just have to figure out what to do with it. 

My friend has given me a future, albeit a very uncertain one.

The only thing certain about my future, is that whatever happens, my friend is there for me, always has been, always will be.  I am so very blessed.  I love him so.