RED Opens February 3

This fabulous teapot is by my friend Kathleen Becherer and will be part of the RED exhibit, opening reception February 3 at 7:00 p.m. at Gallery 8680, Frisco, TX. I am so excited for her!

 

Whole New Outlook

I have posted before about finding old friends on Facebook and how wonderful it is to be in contact with so many people from so long ago.  It has been great fun to reconnect with all of them, but only one person from the past has really made a huge impact on my outlook on life.

He was one of my very best friends, and may be the only other person in the world who knows me almost as well as Raymond did.  We never dated, but we did, and do love each other.  

Until reconnecting around Thanksgiving, 2011, we have had no one on one contact since the week before my wedding.  I kept up with him for years through my parents, and then my in-laws, but he dropped off my grid about ten years ago.  He in turn knew when Raymond got sick, but did not know what happened afterwards.

Now here we are back in touch, and it is as if we were never ever apart.  He still knows me, I still know him, and we make each other smile. 

We are slowly catching up on the 35 years since high school.  He is happily married, has three children, dotes on his six grandchildren, and still lives in our hometown. 

Since finding each other again, we have not missed a day of catching up.  He makes me laugh out loud at least once a day.  We both believe we are blessings in each others lives, and we mourn the fact that we were apart for so very long.  

Having this wonderful male friend back in my life has really made me remember just how much I miss having a man to share things with on a daily basis.  I had pushed those feelings so far down that I did not think they would ever see the light of day again, but this man brought them out again after just a couple of weeks.  I told him I did not know whether to kiss him or curse him.  

He reminds me on a daily basis that I still can have great love in my life because I am worthy of love.  He brings out the joy in me and makes me feel like having fun again. Through the stories of how much he loves his wife, he reminds me of what I had with Raymond and could have again. 

He has given me a whole new outlook.  Now I just have to figure out what to do with it. 

My friend has given me a future, albeit a very uncertain one.

The only thing certain about my future, is that whatever happens, my friend is there for me, always has been, always will be.  I am so very blessed.  I love him so. 

How Long Before They Would Notice?

Okay, I get it, my boys are men now, 18 and 21.  The oldest has not lived at home on a permanent basis since he was 16, and the youngest has not lived at home on a permanent basis since he was 15 because of the school they chose to attend.

They both have the own lives and I am proud of them. 

All that being said, I am beginning to wonder just how long it would take for them to notice if I moved out of the house.  

The youngest comes home almost every weekend, but I think if he came home and I wasn't here he would just think he forgot I told him I was going to be away.  

The oldest comes by so seldom, and has so little contact with me that I could probably be gone for months before he would notice.  

If I had somewhere to go, it might be a fun experiment.

Retro Week

My high school buddies and I have been playing retro week on FB.  We are posting pictures that are at least 20 years old.  

I put up my high school graduation picture even though I have always hated that photo.  I posted it because Raymond loved it and carried with him always and because another friend on FB mentioned it a while back in a chat.  

I am not smiling in the picture because I had braces on.  There is a pose from that sitting with me smiling and showing the braces (Raymond loved that one too) that the photographer insisted he take saying I would want it in the future.  Well it is pretty far into the future and I have never ever wanted that photo shown.  

Here is the graduation picture. 

Old Letters

I was going through some boxes I had in the closet tonight and found the box with all the letters Raymond wrote me in college along with the ones I wrote him.  

I started reading the ones that I wrote Raymond beginning in January, 1981.  I graduated in May, 1981 and Raymond graduated in December, 1981.

I forgot how much we wrote each other.  There were sometimes 2-3 letters going out a day.  A lot of these letters were written before we became engaged, but we were not dating other people at the time.  

I cannot believe how much stuff I had forgotten about our lives back then.  At one point I was talking about the job interviews I was going on and I couldn't remember even applying to some of those places until I sat down and really thought about it.  I decided the reason I couldn't remember was because there was a mall opening in town at that time and I had applied to several stores.  The interviews were held in a motel because the actual stores did not exist.  I had blanked out those interviews because most of them were so strange.  

I also made references to people that I now have no memory of, at all.  I was able to remember about half of them, but some of them I am sitting here thinking "Who?"  There was one letter all about this one guy and his wife. Evidently I knew them very well as I was telling Raymond about a personal issue they were having, but now I have absolutely no clue who they were, where they lived, and how Raymond and I would have known them.  

I forgot that we tried to fix my roommate up with Raymond's roommate.  They just sat and stared at each other all night.  Very awkward.

There were letters describing how my shift went when I was night manager of this creepy little pizza parlor.  Over the years I have remembered some of the things that happened, but I blanked out a lot of stuff.  I certainly remember the strange little guy that used to come in every night and play "Secret Agent Man" on the jukebox and how one night he came up to me and told me he "smelled murder."  I really thought he was going to kill me.  That guy had the coldest stare.  What I didn't remember was another guy that would come in and hassle me, but I did tell Raymond in great detail what that guy said.  No wonder Raymond did not mind staying with me until closing at 2:00 A.M. the weekends he was in town.  I am really surprised nothing bad happened to me at that place.  It was on a very dark corner with no street lights, it was always being broken into and some of the other employees were of questionable character.

The other thing I discovered by reading the letters was just how long I have had a messed up sleep pattern.  I knew I started having issues in high school.  I did not realize until I read what I told Raymond just how little sleep I was getting in school.  Not because I partied, but because I pretty much had the same issues then as I do now.

Tomorrow night I might read the letters Raymond wrote me.  That should be fun.  I remember some of his letters being laugh out loud funny.  

How that man ever put up with me I will never know, but I am glad he did.  

 

Storming Tonight

It is storming here tonight.  Lots of wind, rain, thunder, and lightning. The power is flickering on and off.  It has been a while since we have had such a storm.

It has also been a while since I have been alone during a storm.  The last couple of storms we had Loni was living here and at least one boy was home.  

I am not afraid to be alone in a storm, it is just that it is boring.  If someone was here we could play a game or something.  As it is the power is messing with the television and I don't want to turn on my sewing machine because of the lightning, even if it is plugged into a surge protector.  I am not in the mood to read.  

Guess I will just sit here and watch the lighting go across the sky and listen to the rain and thunder.  Although the wind is so strong all my bells are chiming making it hard to hear the thunder.

Nana Duties

I am playing Nana to my grandcat for a couple of weeks.  I started taking care of her on Wednesday, but until yesterday the only had a few clues that she was actually in residence. Clues such as missing food, more clumps in the litter box, and different toys out on the floor.  

Yesterday Hu and I went to take care of her and there she was up on her laundry room shelf looking at us.  Even after we talked to her and left the room she remained there instead of hiding behind the dryer.  I took that to mean that she now understands that when Nana walks in the house good things happen.  She is a smart cat, so I know she recognizes that when I leave she will find a splash of milk in one bowl, treats in another, and some fresh shredded stinky something or other on a plate in by her dry food.  

I think my grandcat and I have the perfect relationship.   I don't expect anything out of her and she knows I will take care of her needs.