Few People Know

Few people know that I sat in my recliner for almost a year, from August 2006 until June, 2007.

I would take my youngest to school, come home, get in my recliner, turn on the television, and there I would stay until it was time to pick him up again. I would make phone calls, answer emails, pay bills, do everything I could to make it look like I was holding on, but I wasn't.

Oh, I would go out to lunch with friends, take my mother shopping, and on weekends - I did what normal people do with their families. It was just during the school day when it wouldn't freak the boys out that I would sit in my chair.

For years, the doctors tried to get me to take anti-depressants. In fact, since the day Raymond was diagnosed with cancer, but I refused.

In July, 2o07, I finally gave in and agreed. I started the first anti-depressant the day the boys left for a three week camp. I slept for almost the full three weeks. It was great. I have always had sleep issues, and this was like I was finally catching up from years and years of sleep deprivation.

Unfortunately, it turned out that I was too sensitive to the drug, so we tried another, and then another, and yet another. So far we have not found a drug that I can take without eventually developing side effects that make it impossible for me to continue the drug. The good news is that I am beginning to feel as if I can get by without the drugs.

I still have sleep issues, but my chair time is down to about 4 hours a day. Each day I feel as if I am making progress. I hope it continues, because if it doesn't, I am going to have to find the money for a new chair.