How Will We Know?

Both of my parents had Alzheimer's.  My dad suffered with it much longer than my mother because he was fairly young when he was diagnosed.  Those odds are not good for me.

I know people now suffering from this horrible disease, and I really am not making light of their illness, suffering, the suffering of their families, etc. I am just telling you a real concern of mine, that happens to be funny.

As I was having one of my mental blanks the other day, I looked at my youngest and said "How will we ever know if I have Alzheimer's?"  

I mean I already have issues finding the words for everyday things, and have for years and years.  I have a tendency to lose things because I put them in "safe" places and then those places are forever erased from my mind.  

My youngest and I were imaging taking me in for the test, like I took my mom in.  They would give me the three words, and when I didn't remember them or did my hand gesturing and clues, he would have to say "She has done that ever since I was born."  Then when they gave me the math he would say "She never could do math."  Yep, that is how it would go.  We were laughing when we got done acting out the visit.  

Raymond was the one with the memory.  He could remember things I had forgotten ten minutes after they happened.  He remembered details about dates that I didn't even remember being on, but I was.  I miss that. Not only did I lose my soul mate, but I lost my history.

Maybe my memory is so bad because I multi-task constantly and do not take the time to really concentrate on one thing long enough for it to register.  Maybe I am in a constant fibro fog, since that is really when my memory got bad was after that diagnosis.  I really don't know, or don't remember.

I do know I am blessed to have a family, blood and extended, that puts up with me.