You Can't Go Back

I had a very long conversation with an old friend last night, and again this morning.  A good part of the conversation was about how you can't go back.  

I often think about if we could go back.   Would I want to go back and start over? Would I just want to go back and relive certain days?  

My friend and I talked about how it isn't healthy to have regrets, things are what they are for a reason. Of course that is easier said than done and some of our regrets just come from being young and as he put it "dumbasses."

Of course I would do anything to go back and do something to prevent Raymond's cancer, even though I know there is no way of knowing why it happened, I keep going back to that damn fall.  If the doctor hadn't given me a list of things that might have caused the cancer and listed a hard fall, I wouldn't have to think about that all the time.  

I go back and forth between things are destined to be a certain way and "shit happens."  

There are certain things that I think about and I know that at the time I did everything I could in my power to handle the situation the right way, but I still see some of the consequences through my children, and I wish I had done more.  

You can't go back, and I know that, so why do I spend so much time wishing I could?