Words to Live By

One of my tasks at work today was to take a quote A.A. Milne wrote for Christopher Robin to say to Pooh and make agape for Kairos Outside.  While working on the agape I couldn't help but think back to what Winnie the Pooh has meant to my family.  We did not use the full quote on the agape piece, but the full quote is appropriate here:

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.” ~ A.A. Milne.

When I was pregnant with my oldest I read him "Winnie the Pooh" stories every day.  When I wasn't reading to him Raymond was playing classical music to him.  Then when I was alone I would sneak in some good old rock and roll and country, because after all I wanted him to be well rounded.

I still remember the day Raymond took the oldest for a walk around the block and came back with a stuffed Pooh and a baseball bat they had bought at a garage sale in the neighborhood.  I really freaked out to see that stuffed Pooh, all I could think about was germs, lice, bed bugs, etc.  Of course the toddler boy did not want to give it up to me, but Raymond finally convinced him to let me wash Pooh.  

Pooh was soon a favorite stuffed animal.  My mother, GiGi, even made Pooh a couple of new shirts since the one he had was a little ratty. 

We continued to read Pooh stories, and had a collection of Pooh tapes that would play every night as he went to sleep.  When the youngest came along he was exposed to Pooh too, but he never had the attachment that oldest did to the stuffed Pooh we bought him when he decided he must have one too.

That old Pooh still sits on my oldest's bed, and I am know he still brings him lots of comfort.  

The oldest and I cannot listen to "House at Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins without bursting into tears. 

It just brings back too many memories of Raymond. 

Yes, Pooh will always be a big part of our family life.  I am going to repeat the quote here because I think the words in this quote are what I would want my boys to remember if we were no longer together, and I know from my discussions with Raymond that he hoped that the boys would live their lives by these words:

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.” ~ A.A. Milne

I wish my boys still had their Christopher Robin.

Totally Baffled

As I am paying bills today I realize that I missed paying two of my larger bills from last month, and I just cannot figure out how I managed to forget them.  I don't have that many bills to pay, and one of them I study carefully each time. 

Nothing I can do except pay the late fees, but I am still baffled.  I pay bills online, so maybe I skipped the confirm step, or there was a glitch in my computer while I was paying.  

I usually check to make sure all my payments when through, but these would have gone through the week I was recovering from surgery and in the drug haze.  

I am very upset with myself, but it is all on me.  I paid them up to date today, and will have to deduct the fees from my fun money account.

You Just Never Know

After spending a year at M.D. Anderson with Raymond I learned that you never ever know what is going on with another person unless they tell you.  I try to remember that, but it is easy to get caught up in your own life and forget that fact.  It slapped me in the face today.

There is a woman I see walking all over town that also works at a local store. I see her at the store every time I shop there and I am always amazed at how friendly she is on some days and how mean she is on other days.  Today she was in a good mood and as we stood talking the wind started whipping up and I mentioned  how I see her walking all the time, and did she walk to work today.  She then told me that a friend had driven her to work and then she went on to tell me more about her life.  This woman has a mental illness and  it makes her life very difficult at times, hence the moods I witness.  

This woman told me why she walks so much and about some of the difficulties she has because of her illness. She was quite open about her situation as we stood at the counter and discussed ways she might overcome a problem she is currently encountering. 

You just never know.