You Can't Go Back

I had a very long conversation with an old friend last night, and again this morning.  A good part of the conversation was about how you can't go back.  

I often think about if we could go back.   Would I want to go back and start over? Would I just want to go back and relive certain days?  

My friend and I talked about how it isn't healthy to have regrets, things are what they are for a reason. Of course that is easier said than done and some of our regrets just come from being young and as he put it "dumbasses."

Of course I would do anything to go back and do something to prevent Raymond's cancer, even though I know there is no way of knowing why it happened, I keep going back to that damn fall.  If the doctor hadn't given me a list of things that might have caused the cancer and listed a hard fall, I wouldn't have to think about that all the time.  

I go back and forth between things are destined to be a certain way and "shit happens."  

There are certain things that I think about and I know that at the time I did everything I could in my power to handle the situation the right way, but I still see some of the consequences through my children, and I wish I had done more.  

You can't go back, and I know that, so why do I spend so much time wishing I could?

Accomplishments #342-365

I think I did pretty good on my year of accomplishments.  Nothing earth shattering, but I have been making steady improvements on the clutter that surrounds me and in making sure I just did not become a complete vegetable every time I walked in the door.  Did I get back to the person I used to be with my house cleaning, cooking and such?  No, not any where close to that person, but this life is not that life or even close to it.  

I still hate laundry with a passion, but I bought more jeans recently so I won't have to do laundry even once a week now unless I just can't stand the laundry room another minute.  The door John put on the room helps with that a lot.

There is no mail piled up, and the filing made it to the box, if not the correct file.  

I spent a day this week going through almost 4 years of quilting magazines and taking out all the patterns I wanted and boxing up the rest to share with friends.  I am still in the process of putting the patterns into sleeves, but I cleared up two shelves on my bookcase. Of course I immediately filled one with books I had stacked on a table because the shelves were full.

I have a long way to go in certain areas, but if I hadn't worked on doing an accomplishment a day in 2011, I would have been further behind in 2012.

The Shiny Shiny Took Over

I went to the Blue Ribbon Quilt Shoppe in Wylie today for their 30% off fabric sale with my friend Laura. She has had her eye on a couple of fabrics for a while now, and I had a plan to purchase Christmas fabrics as I do not have any left in my stash.

We arrived a little early for their opening time so we did a little window shopping in the other shops.  Once it hit 10:00 A.M. though we were in fabric mode.  As soon as we went in the door Laura grabbed the fabric she had been looking at for at least a month.  I went straight to the Christmas fabric, but only found two that I really wanted in my stash.  I then went down to look at their Stonehenge collection.  That is when the Beautiful Trees collection caught my eye.

Now I said it caught my eye, but at that time it wasn't enough to stop me from arriving at the Stonehenge display. At the Stonehenge grouping I was having trouble staying away from a celadon green fabric, I picked it up several times and put it back and decided to walk around.  It was then that I got a different view of the Beautiful Trees.  I decided to walk over and look at the display which was up over my head.  The owner of the shop, Teena, decided that was the moment to show me a small sample quilt with the fabric.  That was all it took.  I was soon pulling down all of the bolts in the sage/periwinkle color wave.  I set it down on a back stage area and wondered how much to buy.  That is when Teena offered to print out a copy of the free pattern that went with the fabric line.  A pattern called "Harmony."  That is all it took.  I was in love. I could picture myself under this quilt after a bad day at work and peace just flowing through me through the healing powers of the trees.

Once I decided what I needed of each of the different fabrics for the quilt, I was totally bewildered as to what else I needed.  The shiny shiny of the Beautiful Trees fabrics had taken over my brain and there was nothing I could do but sit and look at my fabrics while I waited for Laura.

Can't wait to make this quilt!

Christmas Pillowcases

A set for my youngest to match his Turtle quilt.

A set for my oldest to honor his dice collection.

A set for Mina and Stan to match their Christmas quilt from last year.

One single for Loni because that is all the fabric I left from her cat quilt.

I Always Count My Blessings, but did an Extra Count Christmas Day

I have a lot of blessings to count in my life, but the two most important ones are my boys.  I am truly blessed to have such fine young men as my sons.  

Christmas Day an email friend of Loni's lost her two sons, who happened to be the same age as my sons, in a car crash.  I truly cannot imagine the pain that woman and her family are experiencing.  I am not sure I would get out of bed again if that happened to me.  I am not sure what I would have to live for if I lost my sons. 

I have always been good about telling my boys how much I love them and making sure they get their hugs and kisses.  They tell me they know how much I love them, but I don't know if they will ever understand until they have their own children.

If you haven't counted your blessings lately, take the time now to acknowledge them in your mind, then go hug someone you love.

Vacation TIme Again

I have the week off and I started my vacation by having breakfast out with Loni and my youngest at Mimi's (one free breakfast coupon) and then we all went to see Sherlock Holmes, A Game of Shadows.

And to answer my oldest's question, yes I enjoy the story as well as Robert Downey, Jr., but since we are still in the Christmas season:

After the movie we went to Fabric Fanatics for their sale and so I could use a gift certificate I had since Mother's Day.  I was able to get the backing for two upcoming projects and some turtle fabrics they had in the sale room.  

A lunch of leftovers with Loni and then she went home and I took a long nap.  

Right now I am catching up on emails and listening to the youngest laugh with all the boys.  Everyone is here except the oldest, who is off visiting with his girlfriend for a couple of days.

I think the rest of the night will involve some reading and watching reruns of shows from years ago.  

It has been a good start to my winter vacation!

'Tis the Season 25 - Merry Christmas!

A picture of the boys in front of the Christmas tree is a tradition each year.  They get up and goof around and pose while I snap pictures hoping for a decent one.  When I was reviewing this year's pictures, I realized they told a story.  Here is the story:

The Angel appeared to the Shepherds and they were terrified.

The Angel said "Do Not Be Afraid," but these particular shepherds had been told not to talk to strangers.

 

 

 

 

 

The heavenly host appeared with the Angel, and then these two shepherds said "Alrighty then!"

Merry Christmas everyone!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Ratty Robe has been replaced!!!!! 

My youngest gave me an awesome robe for Christmas. It feels better than ratty robe ever did!  

It is not green, but it is a pretty purple which is a complimentary color to green.  

Love it!  Not one single hole. 

'Tis the Season 24

 

"Tis the Season 23

Did everyone tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas?

My 1964 visit with Santa.  I was 4.

'Tis the Season 22

This was one of my favorite Christmas shows when I was young.  I think it first aired in 1968. 

'Tis the Season 21

I remember watching this Christmas Special when it was released in 1977.  I am a huge Bowie fan so I really like to replay this.

'Tis the Season 20

I have been listening to a lot of YouTube Christmas videos while printing at work.  I really enjoy the Celtic Woman videos.

Great Night with the Girls

I had a horrible, horrible day, but tonight was a girls get together, and as always my girls came through in cheering me up.  Thanks Jenn, Gina, and Loni.

'Tis the Season 19

Of trying to remember where I hid the gifts I bought at the beginning of the year and gift wrapping.  The wrapping used to stress me out until I found out there was a cheerful humming elf in my family.  

It is so odd to hear cheerful humming along with the sound of cutting of wrapping paper.  When I wrap gifts I am usually increasing my naughty word vocabulary.  

'Tis the Season 18

I love being with my family at Christmas time.  I am happy to say I never missed a Christmas with my parents.  I know the day will come when I won't be able to be with the boys at Christmas because they will have their own families and will their own lives, but for now we are all together.  Last night Loni hosted family Christmas at her new home. The beautiful new home was full of love and laughter.  Mocha did not come out for any of the fun, but it was probably overwhelming considering she is just getting used to the house.

'Tis the Season 17

A lot of my friends are doing their holiday baking.  I used to do a lot of baking during the holidays for parties, Raymond's work buddies, neighbors, etc., but it seems most of my friends are on diets or restrictions for health reasons, so I just don't bake at all now.  

My mom baked up until the last couple years of her life.  She baked on a weekly basis. When my brother and I were growing up there were certain recipes mom only made at Christmas.  Two of those recipes were her Mexican Orange Candy and New Orleans Pralines.  I don't like pralines of any kind, but I loved the candy.  

Her recipes were in several cookbooks in KY.  I think I will share the two above here:

New Orleans Pralines
2 c. white sugar
1 c. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 T. butter
1 c. brown sugar
2 T. white syrup
2 c. chopped pecans

Boil sugar, milk and syrup to soft boil stage.  Add pecans, butter, vanilla. Beat until creamy. Spoon onto waxed paper. These spoonfuls will form a small disc, so allow room in between.  You can top with half a pecan in the center of each praline.  

Mexican Orange Candy
3 c. granulated sugar
Grated rind of 2 oranges
1 c. nutmeats (black walnuts or pecans)
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 c. rich sweet milk
1/2 c. butter

Melt a cup of sugar in a large kettle (6 quart capacity).  Scald milk in a double boiler.  When sugar is melted to a rich yellow, add hot milk, all at once.  Keep stirring.  Mixture will boil up quickly, so you must use large kettle. Add 2 cups of sugar to this mixture stirring until dissolved.  Just before it is done, add orange rind, salt, butter and nutmeats.  Beat until it is creamy; pour into a butter pan to cool.  

(The recipe doesn't say, but I remember a 9x13 pan and once it is cool you cut the candy into squares)

'Tis the Season 16 Supplemental Post

I just discovered Chocolate Egg Nog!!!!!

One of My Favorite Christmas Pictures

Raymond and Me - Christmas 1981 - We were married January 2, 1982

'Tis the Season 16

For eggnog, spiked or not.

Another Big Day, Still Breaks My Heart

Every big milestone just breaks my heart. 

Today was my youngest's 18th birthday.  Another milestone Raymond wasn't able to be here to celebrate.  

I know he would be so proud of both of his boys.  They are really great young men.  

Hey Raymond, not only did our baby turn 18, but he had an awesome first semester in "real" college.  One B+ and the rest were A's.  Isn't that terrific?  

The oldest hasn't told me his final grades yet, but last I heard they were mostly A's and maybe a couple of B's.  He is waiting to see how one project turned out.  

Wish you were here joking with them, teaching them, and leading them. Even though they are fabulous as they are, I know if you were here with them they would be so much better off.  Not only would they have your influence, you would be able to save them from me sometimes.  

Breaks my heart you can't be here with us.  

'Tis the Season 15

Let us never forget those that are suffering at this time of year. 

It is important that we reach out to those who have lost loved ones, are tending to a sick family member, are dealing with their own illness, have lost a job, or have suffered any of a million other things that can make this time of year difficult.

We can easily get lost in the shopping, baking, cooking, card writing, and the general hustle and bustle of the holiday and forget that person next door who is lonely and frightened by events that have taken place to rock their lives. A phone call, card, or extra little gesture can really make a difference.  I know. I have been the person that needed to be carried through a holiday.  

So take five minutes and make a difference in a life. 

'Tis the Season 14

18 years ago I was blessed to receive for the second time the best gift of all.  The one that keeps on giving.

My youngest!

He still likes chocolate.

He no longer plays with his feet.

This might be the last time he slept!

He is still adorable~

Wish his dad could be here.  He would be so proud!

Happy birthday!

'Tis the Season 13

Unfinished presents!

Can't post pictures because then everyone would know I waited until the last minute to make their gift!

'Tis the Season 12

I love reading Christmas stories all through December.  It helps me set and keep the mood in my mind when the hustle and bustle gets to be too much.  It doesn't matter if you read classics or the newest fiction on the shelf, as long as it warms your heart.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

 

 

 

 

Debbie Macomber Angels at Christmas or any of her Christmas books

The Christmas Bus by Melody Carlson, or any Christmas selection by this author

Nice Weekend

Despite a break in a water pipe that caused not only my yard, but several of my neighbors yards to flood starting off my Friday, I had a good weekend.

Friday was spent dealing with the water pipe break, but I was able to get out and about with Laura for a little while to look at Christmas fabric.  We both just looked.  Nothing was bought.

I spent Saturday still dealing with the water pipe mess, and quilting while watching old television shows.  I find it is best to quilt to shows I have already seen because I don't get distracted.  Loni came over in the late afternoon and we caught up on "Grim" and "Once Upon a Time."  Then the youngest came home for winter break.  YEAH!

Today Loni, the youngest, the oldest and his girlfriend and I went to Mimi's for breakfast and to downtown Dallas to the Sons of Herman Hall to see the Randy Brodnax and Friends Annual Christmas Art Show and Sale.  I have always wanted to go to this show and have never made it down there.  This year might be the last year for a dear artist friend of the family to show there because he and his wife have moved to South Carolina.  I had not seen this friend since Raymond's funeral and it was so nice to hug his neck again.  We had a nice little visit and I enjoyed seeing all the artists.  It really was a "Friends" sale since I think I probably have some piece of at least 50% of the artists displaying after so many years of art festivals.  I was able to pick up a new turtle and a Christmas gift.

After the art show we stopped at the big Half Price Books in Dallas before heading back to Mimi's to drop the oldest and his girlfriend back at his rental car. Then it was a stop at Kroger's to get milk since the youngest thought the milk dated December 5 tasted funny. (Loni refused to try it based on the face the youngest made when he took a gulp.)  

Loni left soon after we returned and the youngest and I went to run a couple of errands.  

When we returned home I had a phone call from a friend whose voice I have not heard in 30 years.  We have been chatting every night on Facebook, but this is the first time we had spoken.  He wanted to know if I was still a "big pain in the ass."  I told him I was an even bigger pain.  I am glad we had a chance to talk.  He is doing very well and is very happy with his wife and truly loves his kids and being a "pawpaw" of six grandchildren. It makes me happy to know he is happy.  He has always been a good friend to me. He has some health issues, but is hanging in there.

Tonight was the "Amazing Race" finale.  I was disappointed in the winners, but they all ran a good race.    

Just 8 more work days before I am on vacation again!

A very nice weekend indeed!

'Tis the Season 11

All I want for Christmas is to be with my family.

'Tis the Season 10

Gifts are being made.

'Tis the Season 9

Giving gifts that have extra meaning, whether it be sentimental or hilariously funny.  

Loni might be giving the best one to oldest this year with an extra meaning.  I'm still laughing.

Creepy Day

Okay, I admit I did not get a lot of sleep last night due to the attic critters, but I have been fully awake and alert all day.  I did not imagine what happened.

This afternoon I was sitting in my office with the door closed tight so that my office would stay reasonably warm.  I had unlocked the door so that I would not have to get up if anyone came to visit.  There was a knock on the door and I said "Come in."  The door opened, but not all the way so I could see out but no one stuck their head in.  I thought it might be one of the little ones so I said "Come on in" and the door opened all the way, but no one was there.  I got up to see who might be in the hall or the main part of the building and there was no one there.  Very creepy.  I often see things in my peripheral vision that makes me think someone is outside my door, but this is the first time there was a knock and a door opening. I walked down to the other side of the building to see if I missed someone but everyone down there was accounted for and were not in a position where they could have run down to my office and created such a creepy feeling for me.  Plus I don't think any of them could run that fast.  We are talking seconds between the door opening all the way and me going into the main section of the building.

So I am already creeped out by the door opening and I get home and find a dead mouse next to my favorite chair.  A mouse that was not there this morning.  I have no poison or traps out for mice, and he was a fairly young looking mouse, so I have no idea what happened to him, or why he chose to die next to my chair.  

What message is someone trying to send me any way?

Whatever is in the Attic...You are Going to DIE!!!

Very restless night last night as there were creatures having a party in my attic over my bed!

Scurrying, jumping, and what sounded like digging.  At one point I became paranoid and thought they might be able to dig a hole through the ceiling and land in my bed. 

Some type of poison will be going into the attic tonight.  Yes, I know it is cold outside, and yes, I love my backyard creatures, but I have a very nice barn that they could all live in comfortably without disturbing me.  I never even go up to the barn so I wouldn't care what they did up there.  Moving into my house with me means WAR!

Creatures, I am telling you now ... prepare to DIE!

'Tis the Season 8

Christmas Table Topper 2

'Tis the Season 7

I am of the age that the only Alvin and the Chipmunks is the original series, albums, etc.  

I had two of their albums when I was little.  I listened to this song over and over again.  I wonder if my mom wore earplugs?

I used to watch the original series too. 

"Ridiculist"

I love Anderson Cooper and since Charlie Gibson left television, Anderson is all I have left in the love department.

His "Ridiculist" is one of my favorite treats in the morning.  This morning I could have been on the list.  I pulled up the video, read the title and proceeded to watch it in a very puzzled state of mind.  I thought the title was "Pregnant Moms" and when I watched the video it was not about pregnant moms, it was about Toddlers and Tiaras.  After watching it twice looking for pregnant moms I finally looked at the title again..."Pageant Moms." DUH

My favorite "Ridiculist:"

He is just so darn cute when he giggles.

Accomplishments #293-#341

I have not forgotten my pledge to accomplish something every day this year.  I have kept the pledge.

I have accomplished something every day. Some of the things I have accomplished since my last posting:

• Cleaned out the room that has been the computer room, the music room, a bedroom, etc.  
• Slowly working on cleaning out my big storage closet, one shelf at a time.
• Organized files.
• Cleaned out a bedroom cabinet.
• Wrapped up some items for storage

I have also kept up with the mail on most days, some weeks it piles up a little because I don't feel like looking through coupons.

All in all this was a good pledge because I have accomplished things I would have probably let go another year or two if I hadn't made a pledge to myself about accomplishing something every day.  

Art Class Projects - Must be Supported

Having watched both of my boys go through art classes in college, I think all art projects every where should be supported. Since it 'Tis the Season ...

Chingedy Ching!

'Tis the Season 6

Raymond and I used to laugh ourselves sick at this "Christmas Vacation."  Probably because it reminded us so much of things that happened in our families during the holidays growing up.

Aunt Bethany Arrives:


Aunt Bethany says Grace


Time to Carve the Turkey

'Tis the Season 5

One of my favorite times from last Christmas was getting together with the girls from work and making this hippo for our preschool Christmas play. We were on a tight budget so we gathered ugly throw pillows from friends and unstuffed them to fill the hippo. The kids loved him. Why did they need a hippo? Well to sing "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" of course!

'Tis the Season-4

My Santa elves always looked suspiciously like Loni, Mina and Stan.

'Tis the Season - 3

Quilted Christmas Table Topper

A Big Day for Mama C

Another very wet, grey and yucky day.  I slept until 9:00 A.M. and then got up to go have breakfast in the living room.  I admit to not being fully dressed to accept company, but then again I wasn't expecting any company.

I had just settled into the living room when I heard a lot of banging outside.  I was confused as to what the noise could be because it was way too early for John to arrive.  I decided to ignore the sounds and find something to watch on television.  I was just at the perfectly comfortable position when I looked up and there in the back yard was my pool man and another man.  Well that really messed with my mind.  Charlie always comes on Monday.  Was this Monday? Was I late for work?  Oh crap, could they see me through the sliding door in my "not fit for company" state?  I quickly dodged into a dark corner of the living room while they did their job, promising myself to look at the day online as soon as I could in case it was Monday and I had slept a lot longer than I thought.  

Once Charlie and company left, I checked the day, and once again got comfortable.  I settled in with a comfy quilt and watched several episodes of "What About Brian" before getting ready for my big adventure for the day...finding a new pair of shoes since my black work shoes are cracked on the sole.

Here are some admissions about me and shoes:

• I hate to shoe shop.
• I am extremely picky when it comes to shoes.
• I own the following shoes:
• I pair of good New Balance walking shoes
• I old pair of New Balance walking shoes (for working in the garden)
• I pair each of brown, black and tan sandals all the same casual style
• 1 pair of good brown sandals
• Numerous pairs of slippers in varying degrees deterioration
• I pair of brown loafers and 1 pair of black loafers, both purchased for $10 each when Famous Footwear was still located in Allen next to Target and when Raymond was still working (so prior to 2002).

It was the pair of black loafers that sprung a leak the night before and had to be replaced today before work this week.  It took a while for me to psych myself up for the ordeal.

I set out around 2:00 P.M. to go to Famous Footwear in the pouring rain, wearing my brown loafers. Upon arrival I discovered that they had no wide widths in any of their slip on shoes.  I left.  

I then, and this is a huge deal this close to Christmas, went to the Outlet Mall and in the pouring rain found a Naturalizer shoe store.  They had lots of selections in wide widths.  I think I tried on about 20 pairs of shoes.  Kim who works there was very helpful.  Victor was helpful when asked, but did not have the best attitude.  I only needed help when my size was out of reach.  I ended up with 2 pair of black shoes and one pair of brown shoes.

The next stop was Fashion Bug to use my $15.00 coupon.  They were having a big sale so I bought 2 pairs of jeans and another sweater.  I had to get another pair of jeans so I would have enough to last a week.  I tore a pair at work the other day, and they are no longer fit to wear out unless I have on a very long shirt.  

Target was the next stop to get shampoo and Color Catchers (new quilting project has red and white squares). It was on this errand that my feet decided to let me know they hated me and I ended up hobbling around the store.  I guess they got used to the cushioned new shoes in the shoe store and wanted to know why I had put them back into a pair of at least 10 year old shoes.  I thought I was going to have to crawl out of the store.

Once I was back in the car I checked in to see if the youngest needed me to take him for dinner, and once he said "no," I checked with Loni to see if she wanted to meet up for dinner.  Since she was about to run into town on an errand and I was close to her house I just picked her up, and we had dinner and ran her errand.  All of this while it was still raining and getting much colder.

Now I am home, in my comfortable slippers and I am going to try to finish up my quilting project.  

Finding three pair of shoes that I wanted was a big day for Mama C.  If all goes well I shouldn't HAVE to shop for shoes until 2021.

Busy Saturday

Saturday was a wet yucky grey day, but I didn't let it get me down.

I slept a little late, got up and worked on a quilting project and then my friend Laurie came over and we went to Suzy's Quilt Shop in Garland because the shop is closing and everything is 50% off.  Now this is the second week of the sale and I had not gone in before because I knew it would be absolutely crazy (and I heard how it really was), but I figured things would be winding down and I needed to load up on some backing fabrics. The shop is pretty empty now, but I was able to find just the right fabrics for my projects and the price was certainly right.  I also found a little notion and a book I wanted.  

After Laurie and I returned and visited a little more, she went on her way, and I worked on my project a little more.  

In the early evening, I picked up Loni and we headed to campus to get the youngest and take him to dinner. After dinner the youngest said he could use some snacks so we stopped at Target.  It was raining a nice steady cold rain and the parking lot had lots of water on it.  Loni stayed in the car and the youngest and I went shopping. Everything was fine until we started back to the car.  As I turned the corner of the store to go into the side parking lot, I realized that my right foot was wet on the bottom, and cold.  When I got in the car I took my shoe off, turned on the light, and looked at the bottom of my shoe. I was devastated to see a large crack from one side to the other on the sole of my shoe.  My sock was very wet, and I was not a happy camper.

I took the youngest back to school, Loni home and then I came home and took off my wet sock and warmed up my foot.  Once that was all back to normal, I quilted until about 2:00 A.M.

So a busy day, but a very nice one.  

'Tis the Season - 2

One of my absolute favorites.  

'Tis the Season

I am not there yet, but I can feel the holiday mood creeping up on me.

Yesterday I spent a wonderful day with a group of ladies from our church. We went to see a fabulous display of Nativity scenes and then out for Mexican food.

When I came home from the dropping off the last of the ladies, I had a visit from a wonderful friend and her daughter.  They brought me 3 new turtle ornaments for the special tree I am putting up this year.  They are so very cute! We had a chance to do a little catch up and make some plans around Christmas.

Last night I worked on some table toppers I am making for myself in Christmas themes. 

These videos have also helped my holiday mood along.