Strep Throat, etc.

I went to work feeling fine on Wednesday morning.  Played in the snow fort with some of the preschooolers, made great head way on my project, then wham, I could not get warm.  I had the space heater on 80 and was still freezing.  I finished out the day, came home and put on my pjs and robe, but still could not get warm even with the space heater right in front of me.  

We had our Wed. night pizza with Loni, and we watched some shows.  I really don't remember what we watched.  Loni left, and I continued to sit freezing on the couch. Around 11:00 P.M. I decided to take my temperature.  102.  Oh, I was sick.  OK.

After a night of chills, followed by sweats, I got up and went to work because I wanted to finish out my work week and then go home to bed.  The girls at work convinced me I had to go to the dr.   I made an appointment with Happy my favorite PA in the whole world and in I went.  

I told my symptoms to the nurse Tina and she said strep throat. She said that on their side of the office alone that day they had diagnosed six cases and I had all the classic symptoms.  Tina took a swab and then told me to wait for Happy.

Happy came in and immediately asked about my purse.  She remembered my love of green.  I explained that this was one of my winter green purses.  She then asked me where my Kindle was.  I told her I didn't have it with me.  She did her exam and then had me lay back on the table. That is when she noticed my shoes.  (No they were not green.)  She asked me where I got them, and then proceeded to straighten the tongue out on both shoes because she said she was OCD that way.  Cracked me up.  I just love Happy.  She is like going to see family.

Strep test positive.  Reactive lower airway which she wasn't too happy about.  Albuterol, Antibiotics, 24 hours in bed.  Told me to start on a new toothbrush the next morning.  Told me to keep coughing because she was worried about pneumonia.

I went and finished my work with the help of my youngest and now I am on my 24 hour rest period.  To tell you the truth I don't have enough energy to do anything but rest.

At least this year I got sick when the boys were still here and before Loni and Mina left for Hawaii.  Last year was really horrible because I was alone and just had to call on people to leave stuff outside my door.

The boys are doing a good job taking care of me.

Getting Past the What Ifs

It is a New Year and time for me to think about what I might want to do with my life in 2012. 

Due to some recent conversations with an old friend, I have decided I need to try to get past the "What Ifs" that run through my mind all the time.  I sometimes get very obsessed with these thoughts and I think they keep me from moving forward.  

 

I need to learn to move forward,  

Since I am someone that obsesses over things and then analyzes them over and over again, I may not be able to get past some "What Ifs," but I also know that it is not healthy to obsess over things that cannot be changed.

New Year's Scarf

In 2010, Loni spent New Year's Eve with me and knitted me a new scarf while we watched television. 

In 2011, Loni spent New Year's Eve with me and knitted me a new scarf while we watched television.  

I like this new tradition!

I have snapped picture after picture of my new scarf, and none of them do it justice.  I just love it!  Loni always finds interesting textures and fibers for me that will not cause me to break out in a rash.  This scarf is very toasty and will be great in my office which tends to be very cold.

Loni Original for Mama C, New Year's Eve 2011

Now It Has Gone Too Far!

Last night was the last of the big gathering of boys at my house for this round of the Army Boy being home. One of the boys brought his girlfriend and she and I spent a lovely evening together while all the guys set up and played Twilight Imperium.  My oldest arrived home just as the game was about to begin in the Man Cave and came into the living room to give me a hug.

I have always been able to tell the difference in my sons' hugs to me.  The hug my oldest gave me last night was a hug of "not all is right."  I took his shoulders and pushed him back to give him a long look and asked him what was wrong.  He said "Nothing," then proceeded to hug me with the I am "really upset hug."  I let it go because he had a houseful of friends and I did not want to embarrass him. 

The bulk of the boys and the girlfriend left a little after midnight.  I went in to see what was going on and I could tell as soon as my oldest looked at me that he was messed up about something.  As I turned to leave the room he hugged me again and then asked if I wanted him to stay home from work today.

Light bulb moment! I asked him if the family friend that had upset my youngest earlier in the day (see post entitled "Someone REALLY Overstepped) had contacted him and he said yes.  I explained to my oldest that I was just fine but that the family friend was wrong and had overstepped in his relationship..  That started the youngest off about how mad he was that this man said what he did to him. 

I was so mad!  I hate it when my kids are upset. I told my kids that this man was concerned but not really knowing me etc., he overreacted but that I was in front of them and they could see I was fine and to ignore it and just consider the source. 

The boys went on to play a new game, but I was still really irritated that someone had upset my kids on a day when I really needed to be taking care of myself.  I waited about an hour and then I sent a message to the source of all my anger.  My youngest just happened to be walking into the room when I started the message and when he looked at my monitor and saw the name he said "Oh, oh, someone is in trouble now."  Cracked me up.

I have not heard from the offender, but I am sure he meant well, but you just don't mess with my kids.

I spent some time with both of them this morning.  They both went off in their different directions laughing and they seem to be assured I am fine.

My oldest did not say what was said to him, but it was sweet that he offered to stay with me today.

Mama Bear's claws are still out and ready to strike.

January 2, 1982

30 Years Ago Today

Someone REALLY Overstepped

A friend of the family that became that way through Raymond really overstepped today and I am furious. 

I understand that this person has been concerned for me the last couple of days, especially after a conversation we had yesterday in which I was quite upset.  I truly thought it was nice of him to check on me today to see how I was feeling.

Today after our conversation, he asked to speak to my youngest.  Now other than comments on FaceBook, my youngest does not really know this person, my oldest is the one with the connection.  I heard my youngest say I will get a pen and then he walked into the other room. The conversation was probably less than two minutes and then my youngest hung up the phone.  I really wasn't paying that much attention.  I thought it was a "Happy New Year" call.

It was just  a few seconds before my youngest was in telling me that he was not supposed to share the conversation with me, but that the family friend was concerned about me and wanted my youngest to call him back with a report of how I was doing.

Of course my youngest had no idea what the whole thing was about because I do not overly concern my children with things that they have no control over and cannot take care of in any way.  I am very careful to not worry them excessively.

I then had to explain to my youngest that this friend was just concerned because that this is a hard time of year for me with my anniversary, etc.   I also explained that it was sad for me but that nothing else was going on in my life that would cause concern.  I also told him that this person had no right to ask him to keep the conversation from me.

That conversation was not something I needed to have with my youngest.  I am sure that a lot of people think I am overreacting, but I know my children better than anyone.  My youngest felt very uncomfortable with the conversation with the friend, and told me that if the request was ever made to talk to him again to just say he wasn't home. 

I have spent most of the afternoon restraining my desire to call up and let this person know just want I think of their actions, but I need to make sure that I can do it in a way that this person will understand and not think it is just because I have been "upset."  

My Mama Bear claws are out though, and I am not afraid to use them.

Happy New Year!

2012 is here. A New Year, and time to look back and reflect and then move forward.

I am having a lot of trouble with the looking back part right now.  Tomorrow would have been my 30th anniversary.  Jan. 2 is always hard on me, but this year it is even harder.  

Dreams I had in the past of course cannot come true.  Regrets and doubts regarding decisions made have formed a large lump in my chest and are making it hard to get a good breath.  

Some hopes I had for the future have changed, and I need to work through the knowledge that some things will just never ever be possible.  

Time to make new dreams and push through all the things from the past.  All of that easier said than done. 

I wish I wasn't a person of what ifs.  

I know the new year will bring some amazing things into my life, just as 2011 did, and I will do my best to welcome each new challenge and change.