Accomplishment 30

I only had about 30 minutes of sleep last night, but I still managed to work today, take district training, shop, have dinner with my youngest, and take him back to campus. 

The youngest and I also managed to feed all the bird and critter feeders so that they will have plenty of food during the upcoming cold front.

I also did laundry, ran the dishwasher, and carried in/put away the groceries and other supplies.

Accomplishment #29

I know it is still early in the day, but I don't know if I will accomplish anything else today or not that is not a quilting accomplishment.

My youngest is home this weekend, so he helped me with my first accomplishment of the day.  One I was waiting to finish with his help.  We cleaned off the top of the armoires in my bedroom.  He climbed the little ladder and handed everything down for me to sort.  One bag of items was thrown away.  Everything else was stored in more appropriate places.  We moved the jigsaw puzzles to where I will be able to get them after I have shoulder surgery.  I figure I will be doing lots of puzzles during my recovery.

I changed the battery in my thermostat. It was the one in my oldest's room, so no telling how long it had been blinking low.  

I did another load of laundry.  I hope to be folding some laundry in a minute or two.

I am still very weak, probably from lack of nourishment.  All I had yesterday was an egg, piece of toast, and a little mac and cheese with applesauce.  Food tastes horrible and I have a fear of the backlash, so it is very slow going. I am keeping fluids down, so my headache is much better.  

I did quite a bit of hand quilting last night and today Jill said she would take me to JoAnn's so I could find some orange thread.  I have to say that my stitches last night were amazing.  Even the youngest was impressed.  

Here I Sit Thinking

I have the front window and the back door open to get cross ventilation.  I have a fan running at full speed directly on me and I feel like I at a sweat lodge. 

I am hoping this is the last day of this and I will be back to normal tomorrow.  

I did do a little hand quilting this afternoon.  I was watching "Designing Women" and laughing so I know good mojo went into each stitch.

I am hoping the youngest will run the vacuum cleaner for me this weekend.  I don't think I have the strength for that yet, I had to take a 20 minute rest after scrubbing the kitchen sink.  

The youngest should be home soon since the oldest was picking him up for me and bringing him home.  I hope they eat on the way home.  I don't have anything here for him. I could drive him to the store later and he could go in and get some things.  He let his license expire so he can't drive himself.  Brat.  That will be taken care of next weekend.  

The girls, Loni and Mina, are on Oahu tonight finishing up this year's Hawaiian vacation.  I hope they are having fun. 

I am saying prayers for my friend Marie.  She is having trouble getting a good diagnosis.  If you are reading this, please say a prayer for her too.  

Jill's family got good news this week, so prayers answered there. She has been working a lot of extra hours, I hope she doesn't get worn down and sick.

I am blessed to have such wonderful friends that nursed me through my illness.  Especially Kathy.  I am so glad I know nurses.  

Talked to my brother today.  He told me a sad funny story about one of our old neighbors.  She is the last of the two couples.  For years it was my parents and the couple next door that got together and watched television or sat on the back porch having cocktails.  It was at this neighbor's house where we all first saw Tom Jones on television.  I remember my neighbor's sister having to unbutton her blouse and fan herself and I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.  

I was looking at Facebook today and wishing some of my relatives would tag their pictures.  I haven't seen some of them in 40 years and I can't figure out which one is which when they are all so close in age.

I can't believe someone let their baby drown in the bathtub because they got distracted playing "Cafe World" on FB.  It just doesn't take that long to give a kid a bath.  Put them in the bath, soap them up, rinse them off, dry, dress.  How hard is that?  Even when my boys were big enough to be in the bath by themselves, if they had to shout out "I'm OK" on a regular basis as I read in the hallway.  Usually they didn't need to because they were talking to their toys or singing, but if it got quiet there was a "You OK?" "I"m OK" conversation immediately. 

I am worried about having shoulder surgery.  What if it gets messed up worse than it is and I can't quilt? Can't quilt very long like it is though, so what would be the difference?  The pain is very annoying.  Really want to get it done before going to Alaska in 2012.

Monday I start the final process for the beginning of my plan.  Yeah me!

I hope I can keep this ten pounds I loss being sick off.  That would be a great way to start the year.

Why don't they have unscented spray deodorizers for fabric?  Maybe they do and I haven't found them yet.

Will I ever stop being so hot?  This is ridiculous.  

Guess I will empty the dryer.  That will keep be from sitting here thinking.  

Accomplishment #28

Today I:

• Sterilized the two bathrooms I have been using since I have been sick.
• Did two loads of laundry.
• Put away the items I bought at Target on Jan. 23. 
• Cleaned out the carpet cleaner from the spill the other night.

Observations from the Sick Couch

As much as I love television, I don't keep it on randomly.  It has to be on something I want to watch or listen to or it gets on my nerves (like football, really, really, really gets on my nerves).  However, yesterday I didn't feel well enough to get up off couch, could not read, could not sleep, did not want music, and could not quilt, which only left laying here staring at the beautiful green walls, looking outside, or turning on the television.

Here is what I observed about those three things from the sick couch:

•  I had no idea there were so many food commercials on during the day and evening.  When you are sick you really do not want to see ads for Chili's, KFC, Olive Garden, or Chef Boyardee.  
• There are a lot of really loud, obnoxious scantily dressed people on day time television.  I know I am loud and obnoxious, but I am usually fully clothed in public.
• Those ads where you can call in to meet people on the phone, where the women advertising the service are all in skimpy outfits pretending to be talking on the phone as they squirm across a bed and run their hands up and down their body or the phone cord...why are they all women?  They say you can meet men or women on these phone services, so why don't they have a sexy man in tight short boxers writhing on a bed while he fondles a phone cord?  That is what I want to see.  Well actually last night I saw one where it showed the man the woman was supposedly talking to, but he was shirtless, wearing jeans and sitting at a desk with his feet up and he didn't look as interested as the girl that was rolling all over the bed in her tight pink whatever. 
• "Designing Women" still cracks me up.

• It is not relaxing to watch reruns of shows I just saw two months ago because I start trying to remember what the next scene will be and it becomes a big mind game.  
• Squirrels are a lot of fun, but I wouldn't want one in my house.
• My solar lights are still very entertaining at night.
• The doves are really fat right now.
• The blue jays have not been around.
• Mr. Woodpecker has a favorite tree.
• I am sick of the outside being so brown.
• I really love my green walls.  
• I need to wash the windows again.
• I don't like how dusty the black television gets, but trying buying any other color these days.
• Why can't you buy a green television?
• I don't care what John says, my Harvey rabbit does not look evil.

How Sick Was I?

I still can't believe I had something that knocked me on my rear like this last virus, or whatever it was. How sick was I?

• I have only worked one day this week.  I hardly ever miss work for illness.  Never that many days. Since I live so close to the office I can usually manage to drag myself in for at least part of a day.
• I could not read my Kindle.
• I could not watch television one full day.
• I did not stalk Amazon.

Accomplishments 25, 26, and 28

Yes, I was very sick, but accomplishments were very much on my mind when it was not hallucinating.  I was not able to do much, but I did try to do something every day.  Here is the list:

#25:  Cleaned carpet from drink spill (yes it was necessary, but it was a huge thing when I was so weak.
         I also sorted mail. Gathered trash.

#26:  Thought I smelled propane.  Walked out to tank and called for a delivery. 
          Gathered and sorted laundry.

#27:   A load of laundry.  Loaded and ran dishwasher.

I Don't Know What it Was, But You Don't Want It

I woke up at 5:00 A.M. on Tuesday, January 25 knowing something was very wrong. My stomach felt like lead and I was having abdominal cramps.  Not a good thing at all.

It wasn't long before I knew I would not be able to go to work. I texted my boss and co-worker and proceeded to spend the day between the bathroom, bed, and couch with a bucket by my side.  I was burning up, I couldn't keep anything down and between bouts with the bucket I would collapse into what seemed like a semi-conscious stupor.  

Sometime in the very late afternoon John called to tell me he was outside.  I told him he couldn't come in the house but asked if he would take my garbage out for me if I put it on the patio.  Once I hung up I fell out of it again and when I woke up I thought I had dreamed about John calling and was just worried about getting the garbage out for garbage day.  As I laid on the couch trying to orient myself I heard John in the workshop and got up to drag the garbage to the door.  Then I collapsed again.

Jill called and I asked her to bring me a Sprite with cranberry juice from Sonic.  She brought it in and I know she left the drink but that is all I really remember.  The next time I woke up I went to pick up the drink and split it all over the carpet.  It was one of those RT44's so there was a lot to spill.  

I drug myself to the outside door and there was John just getting ready to leave.  I asked him to pull out the carpet cleaner before he left and he was nice enough to set it inside the door.  I cleaned the carpet and decided to go to bed.  

Once in bed I hallucinated most of the night and would get up and roam around to see if what was happening in my head was happening in the house.  It was a rough night.

Wednesday I had an appointment with the surgeon and asked my friend Kathy to take me because I knew I couldn't drive.  I wrapped my face in a scarf, covered my hands in gloves and off we went.  Once home I collapsed again.  Slept most of the day away with fever.  It felt like someone was punching my stomach with boxing gloves covered in spikes. 

Thursday was not much better until late last night when I was able to keep toast and a Coke down. (Thank you for bringing those Kathy).  

Today is Friday.  I am cautiously optimistic that I have turned the corner.  I was able to keep an egg and toast down with a Coke. I have not been burning a path to the bathroom, or been punched with spiked boxing gloves.

I am taking it easy as I feel very weak.  

I have no idea what virus I had, but believe me when I say you don't want it.

Accomplishment #24

After all I did yesterday, I made tonight a light one.  I cleaned the fish tank.  Now that all the fish are dead, I took it completely apart and cleaned it and rinsed everything off. 

The rest of the night was spent quilting.  I finally finished all the quilting on the latest baby quilt.  All that is left is binding, cutting strings, labeling and washing.  I am so glad to be done with that one.  I was afraid the baby was going to be grown before I finished it.  I hope to deliver it to the grandma on Thursday. 

Birds, Birds and More Birds, plus a Squirrel or Two

My backyard has been so full of birds lately I find myself sitting in the chair for an hour or more in the mornings watching them. 

The biggest population of late has been Blue Jays.  They fill the oak tree off the patio and squawk at everything.  They really don't like the squirrel. 

I have two squirrel feeders on the ground. For the last few mornings the Blue Jays have taken a dislike to the squirrel feeding at one of his feeders.  Now the second feeder is full of food and totally open for the taking, but they want Mr. Squirrel out of the other feeder.  One Blue Jay will swoop down and fly at the squirrel and he will shake them off to keep eating. Then the Blue Jay will sit next to him on the ground and make a lot of noise, which he ignores.  That Blue Jay will give up and go back into the tree and send another one down. 

I like that Mr. Squirrel stands his ground.  He knows that feeder is his and he is not going to take any lip off a bird just because it is rather large and loud.  We all could take lessons from Mr. Squirrel.

Mr. Woodpecker has been visiting in the mornings too.  I like looking out and seeing him. 

If Mr. Skunk is around, he hasn't made his presence known lately. 

I love my backyard.

Not an Inspiration

Several people in the last couple of weeks have told me they are inspired by my daily list of accomplishments.  I had to laugh though when my friend G told me that I was inspiring her to do something everyday.  She is the one that started me on this whole daily accomplishment. 

G was visiting one night and I had to do some cooking for a party.  I asked her to sit in the kitchen and keep me company while I worked.  I am the first to admit that the cooking area of my kitchen is very clean, but the bookcase and the display case in the dining part of my kitchen often need dusting.  As I was cooking G was looking around and said "You really should dust in here."  That did it!

I used to dust and clean each shelf weekly, but since I have been living by myself, I have really slacked off on that duty.  In fact, I still haven't done it this year. It is on an upcoming list.  I just need someone here to help me with that one because of my shoulder.  The glass shelves need to be lifted out and carried to the sink for washing so I can get both sides.  

I think part of the problem is that I only go in the kitchen to eat on nights Loni is here for dinner, or I have all the girls over to eat.  Most of the time I just fix something and go right in to the living room to sit and watch the birds while I am eating.  This is especially true in the winter since the kitchen has that big bay window that gets all the north wind.

No I am not an inspiration. I am a slacker trying to catch up.

Big Wind

I ran out this evening to run a couple of errands.  One of my stops was Target.  I purchased household items that included new furnace filters and another storage box.  When I left the store everything was situated in the cart with the furnace filters on the top with my hand holding on to them.  Just as I got to the van, a huge gust of wind came and ripped the furnace filters out of my hand and out of the cart sending them across the parking lot along with some other items. 

This gust of wind was so strong, I actually thought it would lift me up off the ground.  

I scurried around and gathered all my items and threw them in the back of the van so I would not be blown away again.  

Texas is like that sometimes. 

Going to Sleep In Bed Tonight

Tonight will be the first night back in my bed since before Christmas. 

I am currently washing the mattress cover and blanket. My quilt is drying.  The room is all clean and in order.  I just hope I sleep as good in the bed as I have been on the couch lately.  

Accomplishment #23 goes on and on. No More Fish.

All that is left to do in my bedroom is dust, vacuum, and clean off the top of the armoires.  I will not be climbing a ladder while I am here at the house alone.  The top of the armoires will have to wait until the youngest has his first closed weekend of the semester or a travel weekend.

I couldn't believe how many little scraps of fabric I had.  All too big to toss, all a long way from being included in a project, but you never know when you will need that one piece to finish off a quilt.  

No big surprises this afternoon, except Mr. Rochester died.  I have no idea what attacked that fish tank but it was vicious.  I wonder if it was the plant bulbs that started to sprout.  I will have to clean it and set it back up.  Maybe I can get a new Mr. Rochester next weekend. Or a Jane and Eyre.  Poor Mr. Rochester.  He was so pretty and I enjoyed talking to him, Jeeves, Jenkins, Larry, Curly and Moe every night.  May they all swim happily in fish heaven. 

Accomplishment #23, continues and Brings Good Memories

Just threw out a lot of stuff!  Yeah me!

Most of it was little things of Raymond's that I had put in a box until I was ready to deal. 

Also found a bag of my Mom's recipes.  Most of them were from her days in Arkansas because there must be 40 blueberry recipes. My mom was a great cook.  I found her fried apple pie dough recipe.  She made the best fried apple pies.  

One time she made a huge plate full to welcome Raymond and me home for a vacation.  As soon as we walked in the door our mouths started watering.  It had been a long two days of  traveling on the road and we were starving.  Mom told us that several other family members were on their way to welcome us home.  Raymond and I took most of the plate of fried apple pies to the basement and ate them. We did not want to share them.  We figured those other relatives got fried apple pies all the time, we only got them once a year.  Man they were good.  Mom had dried the apples herself.  What a treat!

I have never made her fried apple pies.  I used to make fried chocolate pies, but I stopped frying things back in the '80s.  

Good memories!  My Mom never got over us doing that with her dessert.  She told that story all the time, only not to the relatives that we cheated out of pies.  

Accomplishment #23, Part 1

Today I started cleaning my room.  I took everything out of the armoires and started sorting.  I have been at it for over an hour, and I am sitting down now for a water break and to write a note to my dearest friends.

Dearest Friends,

Unless I lose 100 pounds, never, ever allow me to buy night wear again.  

Love,
C

I had no idea I had so many nightgowns, night shirts, night tops and shorts, and pjs.  Almost all from Jockey. Only two of the night shirts are ratty, and no I will not get rid of them as they are the softest and coolest in the summer.  

I have been sorting purses the last 20 minutes.  I have a full laundry basket of purses to donate.  All in very good condition.  Two of them are green.  One is cool, looks like a bowling bag and I love the color, but it has always been too heavy for me.  The other one is paisley, but it does not have enough pockets for me.  I thought about keeping it for a travel bag, but I have plenty of those too. 

I am trying very hard to be tough on myself and get rid of items.  It is not easy for me to do, but it is time.  

Highly Recommend

Coen Brothers "True Grit."  The dialogue was true poetry to my ears.  The acting was amazing.  Costuming, makeup, the entire thing was very entertaining.  The Coen Brothers have not let me down yet.

Accomplishment #22

Spent most of the day with my oldest, so I did not do much around the house.  I did sort some tax information, clean out a drawer, recycled some boxes, and cleaned off a table.  

Must get busy tomorrow or I will be sleeping on the couch for another week.

Out of the Box

This has been an interesting couple of days for me.

Last night I had dinner with two friends from work.  After dinner one of them went shopping with me and helped me pick out all new makeup. I used the new makeup tonight and took a picture with my phone.

New Makeup

Tonight I had dinner with my BFF and then we went shopping and I bought several new tops and (without her immediate knowledge) a new green purse.  The shirts were on sale for next to nothing as far as clothes go, but very out of the box for me.  Silky looking, odd patterns, some bright colors.  Very different.  

Who knows what will happen next?

Accomplishment #21

Lazy day today but still did a few things.

• I straightened the living room
• Sorted laundry
• Threw out junk mail
• Worked on some paperwork.
• The biggest task of all was working on sorting my Kindle books into collections.  I have over 300 books on my Kindle.  I was tired of flipping through all the pages, so I started placing them all in collections today.  Slow process since I can't remember which category most of them go in so I had to review the book description.  

The Journey Started Today

Today I took the first step into putting my plan of action into place.  A plan that will begin a new journey for me this year. A plan that will allow me to walk away at a moment's notice and not be living in constant fear.

Granted this fear is one that is in my mind only, but I only have my mind to guide me and it is very quirky as most of my dearest friends know.  It is probably too late to change the way my mind works, but I can take steps to relieve my worries and my mind.  That is what I did today.  

My hope is that by the end of the day on January 28 I will have the ability to know that at any given moment I can say "Enough of this" and walk away knowing I will be secure until I can walk into something new. 

It was hard to come to the conclusion that no one was going to have my back in my current situation.  There is part of me that understands the impotence of others in taking care of the issue because I have not been able to do anything about the problem myself.  So now I just have to do everything I can do to protect myself.  

The best part of the whole plan is that I have peace with carrying it out.  One of the things that has been holding be back is Raymond and trying to see it the way he would, but he is not here, and he cannot advise me. We did discuss a scenario like this back when we were discussing my future and what I should do, this scenario is not quite like the one we discussed, but we never imagined I would be in a situation like I am in, so it is up to me to decide.

I have decided to trust that I have thought about it enough, talked it over with enough people, and feel secure enough with my own thought process to carry on with what I think is best for me. That itself s a big step for me at this point in my life.

This problem has existed in my life for 18 months now, and I have to say I am almost giddy knowing that the day may come when I can just walk away.  

Stuck

I went to physical therapy today.  I figured it would not be a good day since the pain level was running about a 6.  Since it was my last day of therapy Rubin had to measure my range of motion again.  He measured it last week right after the arthrogram when it was at is worse, or so we thought.  The numbers today were the worse ones yet.  Rubin said I was going to give him a bad name since I keep getting worse instead of better with therapy.

After the measuring, I did the hand bike for 8 minutes and moved on to the pulleys.  I did the first two minutes just fine, and only had 30 seconds left on the second set when my left arm went up with the pulley, but didn't want to come down. It was like the muscle froze and it was so tight I couldn't bring my arm down.  I sat there for a few seconds to see if it would relax and go down, but nothing was happening.  Rubin looked over and asked if I was "stuck,"  I had to admit I was.  He came over and slowly brought my arm to the front of me and lowered it down.  That was pretty much it for PT today. 

Accomplishment #20

Busy day, and since I am dedicating tomorrow to some major cleaning, I decided today's accomplishments would be light.  I went through the mail and got rid of the junk mail.  I went grocery shopping tonight and put the groceries away.  I also sorted laundry.

Accomplishment #19

I was on a roll last night.  I accomplished several small things that needed to be done.  Here they are:

• Emptied dishwasher
• Emptied knife holder, dismantled the holder, cleaned it, and set it back up
• Spot cleaned kitchen floor until it can be mopped later this week
• Did a partial water exchange on Mr. Rochester's tank
• Went through mail and threw away junk mail, filed the rest.

After finishing my accomplishments, I spent the rest of the night hand quilting, visiting on the phone and in person with friends, and exchanging barbs with my youngest on the phone.  

It was a pretty good night.

Accomplishment #18

Tuesdays are a long day for me, so it is extra hard for me to keep going on my accomplishments.  Tonight I arranged a drawer to make it neater, gathered the garbage (but Loni took it down to the road), and made sure all the junk mail went into the recycling bin instead of the table.

Had to push myself to do anything, but I am glad I was able to finish some small accomplishments.

So Groggy

The last thing I remember about last night is laying on the couch with "greenie" over my legs and talking to J on the phone and telling her I was getting groggy and hanging up.  I work up at 5 A.M. with the phone still in my hand and stiff from being all scrunched down to one end of the couch. 

I got up, straightened myself out and laid down to go right back to sleep. For this portion of my sleep I was out hard but with horrible dreams. 

Now I am so groggy I can't walk straight.  I need to get ready for PT but at this point I am afraid I will fall in the shower.  Guess I will go slap myself a few times.

Accomplishment #17

With the youngest's help I put away the last remnants of having a month of teenagers and young adults always in the man cave.  We moved his computer items out and my design wall into the cave while they are gone. 

Laundry was washed and folded for the trip back to school.  I also started putting items back into the foyer now that it is not full of tile and paint cans. 

Revitalized

A friend just stopped by to visit.  She said I seemed revitalized and at peace. 

Maybe I am.  I have been going over my life very carefully the last couple of weeks.  I think I have a workable plan to take care of an annoying situation, and because of that plan I no longer feel trapped.  

I am hoping I don't have to put that plan in place, but if I do I am ready and willing.  It is a good feeling.

Happens Every Time

Just when I think I have my bills under control and can put some extra funds back, a big unexpected bill comes along.

In the last few months I have had to make two major repairs to my van, and today Raymond's car that I gave the oldest needs a major repair.  In fact, his repair will cost more than the blue book value of the car, but it is still in great shape, low mileage, and cheaper than a new one.  

I just get frustrated, especially when I am trying to make some major decisions about my future and how I am going to handle some issues present in my life.  

At least I will know his car has been repaired and inspected so it should be good for a couple of more years. 

Most of my Family is Leaving Me

Will the last one out please shut the door.

Most of the family is leaving me this week.  

The youngest goes back to school to live on campus tonight.

The oldest went back last week, but he has been home enough not to be missed, however today is the real move out day.

John finished all his work and won't be around.  

Loni and Mina leave Thursday for their annual Hawaii vacation and Grandma's birthday.  

BFF is working a lot of overtime.  

Guess I will be busy quilting, reading, and on yeah, Loni gave me a really cool new puzzle so that table is going to be set up again.  

I hope my boys have a good semester, the girls have a fabulous time, John gets lots of new jobs,  and BFF gets some rest.

Several people have asked me if I will be sad this week,  and I can truthfully say "No." It has taken a long time, but I am really starting to enjoy my own company and I like being alone.  That does not mean that I mind people coming by whenever they want, it just means I am okay either way.  

Friendship

Friendship can have many levels, and sometimes that is hard for people to understand.  No two friendships are alike, and I am not sure it is possible to have too many "real" friends.

Friendships that can weather

• Jealousy
• Anger
• Hurt feelings 
• Long distance
• Emotional slaps in the face
• And a thousand other little issues

have the potential to grow personally deeper and offer more love, which only enriches the lives of those involved. 

My wish tonight is for everyone to feel the love of friendship.

Great Family Day

Today was family day at our house.  The youngest has been home on winter break for a month and tomorrow he goes back to campus. 

The youngest, oldest with girlfriend, and I went to see the "Green Hornet" early bird movie this morning.  We followed that with lunch at Macaroni Grill.  We all enjoyed the movie, and I don't know about the rest of the bunch, but I very mindfully enjoyed my lunch.  In fact they had to wait quite a while I finished, but the boys were yammering about something I didn't understand and the girlfriend was drawing on the table, so I didn't care.  

After lunch I took the youngest on a promised trip to Lonestar Comics so he could purchase booster packs of Magic the Gathering cards.  They offered him a 15% discount if he bought all the packs they had left of one of the series and so he was quite pleased with his purchase.  Not so sure the oldest was happy as he tried to make a deal with the youngest to purchase some of the packs, but youngest was not dealing.

The next stop was Entertainmart so I could purchase Donnie Darko.  As I was checking out I saw a copy of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and picked it up too.  I like quirky movies, even if I do end up having to watch them all alone.  

Last stop was to Target to pick up more chocolate for my bowl since the youngest and John were heavy into it last week and the youngest had the last three pieces yesterday.  Must have chocolate in the house at all times for emergencies.  

Once home the youngest went to visit a friend, the oldest and his girlfriend played video games, and I took a very long nap.  

It was a great family day.

Accomplishments #15 & 16

Still on track with accomplishments.

Accomplishment #15 included:

• Working on bedroom.  Yes, this has been in a lot of accomplishments lately, but I have decided to do a very complete job of getting it back in order, including cleaning out every drawer, cabinet, etc.  I am revamping the order of the closet, and cleaning everything as I go.
• Organized the new bathroom.  I finished putting things in the dressing table and vanity.  Decided how I want to deal with certain items, and continued to purge some of the old items.
• I worked on college acceptance forms with my youngest.
• I paid bills that arrived in the mail.

Accomplishment #16 was very small in that I did a load of laundry.  This was the last day of winter break for the youngest and we had a full day of activities planned, so I did not stress over what to accomplish today.  I did a load of laundry to prepare for his packing tomorrow.  Family always comes first, whether it is blood family or not.  Family will always trump accomplishments.

First Snow of 2011 - January 9

Backyard

 

Going out into back field.

There's the barn.

Holly berries.

Front Yard

New Bathroom

The new bathroom is complete!!!!!!

I just took my first soak in my new tub with Aveeno Stress Relief Foaming Bath.  It was wonderful.  I haven't soaked in a tub in so many years, I couldn't remember what it felt like.  The water was perfect, almost scalding like I like it.  The aroma from the Aveeno was not over powering.  I read my Kindle and relaxed.  Then I showered using new shampoo and found that I really like the new Waterpik shower head over the old Delta one.  I even like the fact that the shower head is now barely within my reach. 

After my shower, I sat on my new ottoman,opened up my mom's old dressing table and dried/curled my hair. I have a lot of memories of her sitting at that table and getting ready to go out.  It is an old Ethan Allen piece from the 50's.

I love everything about the new bathroom.  The linen closet is so nice.  The old one was so narrow and deep I hated it.  This one is long and shallow with adjustable shelving.  I was able to get most of it all organized last night. 

I am hoping I can get everything moved out of my bedroom and be back in my bed (and not the couch) by tomorrow night. 

Accomplishment #14

Today was full of accomplishments.  I am pleased with all of them.

• Dusted all the new crown molding.
• Completed the shopping for the new bathroom.
• Found 2 new green purses on clearance.
• Picked up Big Bertha from the sewing machine hospital.
• The youngest and I got haircuts.
• Did a load of laundry.
• Completed the final cleaning of the new bathroom.
• Put the towels and sheets into the new linen closet.  
• Worked on cleaning out my bedroom.
• Arranged all the new bathroom artwork, which John hung for me.

The new bathroom looks fabulous.  I am so excited that it is done. It was so nice to be able to get ready for bed in my own bathroom tonight. 

Note to Self, Clarify Medical Tests

I have had MRI's before, so when my new orthopedic said he would like another MRI with contrast or an arthrogram, I thought it would be like all the other MRI's with contrast I have had and he was just giving it a fancy name.  He explained it as an MRI with iodine dye, I have had those, not allergic to iodine, not claustrophobic, so no problem.  He did say he wanted the MRI done at a particular location because the radiologists knew him and knew what he was looking for with the test.  I agreed.  After all, the first MRI was inconclusive because the test was not conducted correctly, so why not go for gold this time.

After getting the required approvals, the MRI was scheduled for Tuesday, January 11th at Insight Diagnostic in Dallas.  I arrived at the appropriate time to fill out paperwork.  Everyone at the front desk was super nice, and had my packet all ready for completion. The first few pages were standard, no problem there, then I turned to the consent pages, one for the contrast and one for the MRI.  As I was reading along I saw a little note with a check mark stating that they would be numbing an area of my shoulder, inserting a needle into my joint, removing a certain amount of some fancy named fluid and replacing it with the contrast.   WHAT????  Okay, I told myself to breathe, that must be something on the release and it is not really meant for me.  I was sure I was getting an IV inserted for the contrast and it would be no big deal.  I completed and signed all the papers and then sat back in the chair to read my Kindle and wait. 

Several people were called back behind the double wooden doors, and I continued to read, with one ear listening for my name.  The doors opened again and a nice looking nurse yelled out "Macy."  I kept waiting but she didn't say Mrs. so I figured it was someone's first name and I continued to read.  She repeated the call, and after a few seconds called my first name.  Okay, she didn't know how to pronounce the last name.  I got up to follow her and apologized for not answering immediately and told her how to pronounce the name.  She was very nice about it and then asked "Are you nervous?"  I assured her I was fine and she left me to put on one of the largest hospital gowns I have ever seen.  I swear five of me could have worn this thing at once.  I have had tents smaller than this gown.  Don't get me wrong. I was quite pleased about the size of the gown, since the last one I was given to wear at PT would barely cover the front of this obese body. 

The nurse came back and once again asked me if I was nervous.  I asked her if I had reason to be, and she said that some people were really nervous at this procedure.  I asked her what she meant and she proceeded to tell me about the needle, dye, etc.  I told her I was now nervous.  She walked me down to this big room and had me lay on this narrow hard metal cot under this large machine that looked like an x-ray machine.  She then went over what would happen step by step and told me that the doctor would be arriving soon.  Dr.? for an MRI?  It was just seconds before the Dr. walked in.  He was super nice, went over the procedure again, and asked me if I was nervous.  I told him I thought I would be okay.  He then started preparing my shoulder like I used to do Raymond's sterile central line dressing changes.  After the prep, he draped my shoulder like I was going to have surgery.  I decided to look in the other direction and ignore him and the nurse completely. 

The nurse and the Dr. stated that it looked like I was in my happy place, but they would be happy to chit chat if I wanted to while they were doing the procedure.  I told them I was fine, I was going to try to drop off a little.  All was going just fine.  There was pressure, which I can only compare to the epidurals from my c-sections.  I thought, okay, this isn't too bad.  Then the Dr. did something that made me want to jump through the ceiling.  It felt like he had scraped bone with the needle.  I sucked in my breath really hard and he pulled the needle out and apologized.  He said something about going in below the lidocaine, and he would be giving me more.  There was a lot of scurrying going on behind me and then I felt the pressure again. 

The nurse then started talking to me by telling me how much she liked my green glasses.  I told her about my love of green, and we went on from there.  She asked me if the talking helped, and I said I didn't mind the talking, but the biggest help would be if they didn't do whatever they had done again.  They laughed and then the Dr. said his part was done, good luck and he was gone.

The nurse helped me up from the table and took me to the MRI room where I met Hank.  Hank was very nice, set me up for the MRI, gave me head phones, asked me what type of music I wanted and when I said I didn't want music, I wanted to sleep, he told me he needed me to stay awake.  Great.  I was getting really tired, and I don't mind sleeping in MRI's.  It was a 45 minute stay in the MRI. Hank said I did great, I didn't bother to tell him I dozed off.

The whole procedure took a lot longer than I expected and I still needed to get back to work and finish a project before a 7:00 P.M. meeting.  Fortunately, Loni and the youngest were willing to help and everything was completed with an hour to spare.  

I was sore that night, but not bad.  All in all not a horrible experience, until ...

I woke up at 4:30 A.M. on the 12th.  I thought a fully loaded semi had run over my shoulder about 10 times.  It took forever to get my pj's off and into the shower.  It was a really miserable day.  I went to work, but had to come home to rest for an hour in the middle of the day.  Fortunately, the pain was bearable again by that evening, and it is back down to a burning and the usual pain now. 

I sure hope this MRI will show the Dr. what he needs to know so we can move on in this process.

Accomplishments 12 & 13

Wednesday, January 12th, I thought I had been run over by a semi.  The after effects of the arthrogram were quite severe.  It took me a long time to get ready for work and then I had to rest.  I came home in the middle of the day because the pain was making me sick to my stomach, but I rested and went back to finish the job I was working on.  It would have been easy to say "Fooey" and not  complete  an accomplishment that evening, but that would have started a downward spiral. I decided instead to take an extra Aleve, wait a little while and then start on my accomplishment #12.

Accomplishment #12 was that I cooked dinner for Loni (even though she offered to bring dinner) making Spinach Salsa Burritos and then I cleaned the kitchen.  I even scrubbed the skillet and some cookie sheets. After Loni left I also cleaned out another small area of my bedroom.

On Thursday, accomplishment #13 included washing a load of jeans (even included some of the oldest's and his girlfriend's laundry), washed up the kitchen from the youngest making muffins, and worked a little more in my bedroom before retiring for the night.  

I am quite pleased with how well I am keeping up with my daily accomplishments.  It makes me feel better mentally, and keeps everything from piling up around me.  

I am even keeping up with the junk mail on a regular basis.

I need to come up with a spot for important items besides the spice rack. I had to put the cd of images from my arthrogram in there so that I would remember where it was when I go back to the Dr.  That seems to be the only place I can remember to look for things.  Maybe I need to find something to hang on the wall under it to put important letters and things in so that I can leave the spice rack alone and be able to find my spices when I cook.

Accomplishment #'10 and #11

Accomplishment #10 was working on my bedroom and continuing to clean out the junk and rearrange items.  Since the new bathroom is still not complete, I still have a lot of items stored in bedroom, but I am working on cleaning out items that are always in the bedroom.  

Accomplishment #11 was very small tonight since I had an arthrogram this afternoon and the pain is starting to kick in.  I went through a basket of items to see what was in the basket.  I found it stored away the other day full of different things, but no idea what was stored.  Turned out there were a lot of things in the basket that need to be stored in other places, but not until I can move without letting out a little scream.

Accomplishment #9 (cont.)

I spent the evening scanning numerous pictures into my digital frame from a box I found in my closet.  

Lots of memories came flooding back.  Fortunately all of them were good.  Unfortunately, you can't go back and relive them.

Accomplishment #9

Today's big accomplishments...

• Laundry (For people who really, really know me, they know this is HUGE!)
• Started cleaning out my bedroom closet from top to bottom.  I managed to get most of it back in, but my shoulder would only let me to so much.

I had a couple of outings planned with the boys today, but when the snow came in we changed it to a day at home.  The youngest and I watched a show together, then all of us watched "Ed Wood."  I believe in making sure the boys see the classics.

I made dinner for the youngest, and then dinner for the oldest and me.  

John is here working, so comic relief has been on board.  

Hand quilting was part of the day too.

New Pet(s)

I have a new pet(s). 

Mr. Rochester (named from male lead character in Jane Eyre), is my new Betta fish.  He is a Delta Tail Betta.

I purchased him yesterday.  Then tonight the oldest's girlfriend was here to drop off her aquarium for babysitting and since she knows a lot about Betta's and aquariums, I asked her to finish off mine with companions for Mr. Rochester and a plant.  She came back with a moss ball, 2 Cory Cats, and 3 orange tetras.  The youngest named the new fish. Cory Cats are Jeeves and Jenkins, the tetras are Larry, Curly and Moe. 

I would like to make something very clear, Mr. Rochester is not a pet rock.  (Inside joke.)

Accomplishment #8

The focus for today's accomplishment was to finish up some little items that were bugging me, so I:

• Cleaned the paperwork I had been storing on the spice rack out and put it into a new green container I purchased at the Dollar Store.
• Dusted some lights and art work
• Did two loads of laundry, but the boys did the dryer part of the laundry
• Put away several bags of items purchased at Target yesterday
• I also had each boy clean his bathroom since they are currently the bathrooms for everyone while mine is remodeled.

Since Saturday is my usual quilting day, I spent time machine and hand quilting.  

Mina, Loni, Jill and I went to a couple of quilt shops and Mina found fabric to make quilts for triplets.  We found an adorable fabric that I think any mother would love to have for her baby, a simple pattern since after all she has to make three of them, and have a plan where Loni will cut the fabric while Mina is traveling so that Mina can enjoy the piecing of the quilts when she is home.  After all, she is on a deadline for these babies.  

I had a lovely dinner with Loni and Jill, and enjoyed an evening with the boys, the oldest's girlfriend, Loni and Jill.

New Year's Surprise Gift

I really was not expecting a new knitted scarf this year from Loni.  I know how busy she has been with other projects.  After all Mama has scarves from years past, and I got a new knitted Christmas ornament.  So image my surprise when I got a New Year's Eve surprise scarf finished in my home on New Year's Eve! 

I love it.  It is extra long, because I like them that way.  It is made of polar knit so really comfy, in fact I slept in it New Year's Eve.  The way the polar knit rolls it is perfect to make a little turtle neck around me when I am cold in my office. 

Best of all, I got a Loni ORIGINAL! 

Thank you my dear girl, I love you.  I've told you before and I will tell you again, I am as proud of you and love you as much as if I had birthed you myself. 

Mama C

Accomplishment #7

Today was a very good day for accomplishments, although not all of them were done around the house. 

This morning I got up and cleaned out the pantry and refrigerator.  The fridge had been purged recently, but the pantry had some items that were stale because I often buy items on sale, like cereal, and tire of them before I eat the whole box.  It doesn't matter how well I seal the rest of the box, when you wait 4 momths or so go get back to the box, it is usually stale.

This afternoon the youngest and I ran errands.  We found an purchased the following:

• Purse sized daily calendar
• Towels, shower curtain, curtain rings, toilet paper holder for remodeled bathroom
• Groceries
• A new pet for me (More about him in another post)

We also went to two banks, and picked up dinner for the youngest.

Tonight after I had dinner out, I went and purchased portioned snacks for my office for next week.  

I

Hate

hate   /heɪt/ Show Spelled [heyt] Show IPA verb, hat·ed, hat·ing, noun

–verb (used with object)

1

to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry.

2.

to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.

–verb (used without object)

3.

to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.

–noun

4.

intense dislike; extreme aversion or hostility.

5.

the object of extreme aversion or hostility.

Today in my head I was thinking that I hated someone.  I don't like to think that or say that, I really don't.  So I have been trying to really analyze my feelings towards this person tonight, so that I would not have to use that word. 

I have come to the conclusion that my feelings include, but are not limited to the following:

• pity
• disrespect, which is only fair since they disrespect everyone around them
• anger
• disgust
• frustration
• disbelief

There are a lot more, but those are the toppers. 

That makes me feel a little better, because I really don't want to actually come to the conclusion that I absolutely hate someone.

Accomplishment #6

Today was a rough day because of shoulder pain, but I still managed to get some things accomplished.  I:

1. Organized my place mats. I love place mats and have quite a few of them.  I recently put a drawer system into my laundry room for my place mats and tonight I organized them into the drawers with the bottom drawer holding winter/fall and the top drawer holding summer, spring, and any time place mats.
   
2. I vacuumed out the large ceiling vent in the old computer room.
   
3. I washed and dried a load of clothes.

I also managed to get six minutes in on the Mobia and could have probably gone longer if my shoulder wasn't giving me so much trouble.

Accomplishment #5

I could not post my accomplishment last night as my computer would not load my blog, but I had one for January 5.  

My accomplishment was I sorted laundry into the appropriate baskets for laundry day.  I have my baskets labeled as regular dark, regular white/light, delicate dark, and delicate white/light.  

Considering how much I hate laundry this was a huge accomplishment!

Why Does He Bother?

I asked my youngest to go to dinner with Loni and me tonight and he turned me down saying he was going to make himself eggs and toast.  When I got home I asked him if he made dinner and he said yes "eggs and toast."  

We had to run an errand but before we left I went into the kitchen and I noticed the skillet was clean,  As we were driving to our errand location I asked the youngest if he cleaned the skillet.  His response was interesting, at first he said "yes," but he promptly changed that to a "maybe" followed by a "I don't know."  Of course this made me very suspicious, but I left it alone ... until we got home.

When we arrived home I waited until he was busy to go and check the garbage for egg shells. None.  Just as I suspected.

I went in and asked the youngest again if he made eggs tonight.  He looked at me and realized I knew the truth and he admitted he had not.   

I asked him why he bothered to "lie" about it, and if he was going to "lie" why didn't he at least put an egg shell in the garbage, to which he replied "That would be the waste of a good egg."  

He has eaten now and I feel better.  I don't understand why he bothered to try to tell me he made eggs, when he had to have known I would figure it out.    Silly boy.

Accomplishment #4

Tuesdays are late nights for me usually.  I did not get home until 9:40 P.M. and then after making a phone call I realized I needed to put gas in the van before my early venture out in the morning.  So the youngest and I did that returning home at 11:15 P.M. 

It was very tempting to forget attempting an accomplishment tonight because I had a rough day and I am tired, but I found a couple of easy things and completed those tasks.

So accomplishment #4 includes:

1. Accomplishing anything this late at night after such a long day.
2. Paying a bill online.
3. Filling the dishwasher.
4. Going through all the mail and immediately disposing of the junk mail.
5. Making a plan of action for when the bathroom is completed and I can move everything back out of my bedroom.

Accomplishment #3

Filing.  Tonight I filed the last of the 2010 documents so that I will be ready for tax time. 

Tomorrow is Tuesday and I am usually out until around 9:00 P.M. so I will have to save smaller tasks for Tuesday nights.  

Other accomplishments today included a couple of minutes on the Mobia, bills paid, van taken in for a brake work, and managed to get my PT appointment changed.  

Remodel

The bathroom remodel continues.

John actually started the work around December 10 and told me he would be done by Christmas.  In fact, we had a bet.  I won, but I still bought him a case of beer.

Now New Year's has come and gone, and John is still here.  The bathroom looks simply amazing, but there are still a lot of details to finish, including buiding the shelving units for the new linen closet.  

Can you tell I love the rock detail in the floor?  I also like the tile baseboards.  No more wooden ones to paint.  Yeah!

I really don't mind that it is taking this long. John is so particular about details that it is worth the wait. 

Back to Work Tomorrow

I have been off work since December 23.  Tomorrow I go back. 

It has been a wonderful, relaxing vacation, especially with the help of my elves.  I haven't had to leave the house more than a couple of times, and even though I am sleeping on the couch and we only have one working shower, I wish I never had to leave the house except for days like today when I wanted to go to the movie.

I have been talking to myself about how to deal with the stress at work.  I have a strategy that should work, it is just a matter of implementing the plan.

Wish me luck.

29th

Today would have Raymond and I would have celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary.  

I kept myself busy so I wouldn't have to think about it too much.  

I met Loni and Mina at the movies to see "How Do You Know" for the matinee.  It was really cute.  Paul Rudd's character reminded me a lot of Raymond when he gave Reese Witherspoon's character her birthday gift.

After the movie I met John at Home Depot for some shelving shopping, and then it was home to start working on my accomplishment for the day.  

Loni came over later in the day and I coached her through making her first quilt. She actually needed very little help, and her quilt turned out very nice.  

I managed to get 3 more triangles quilted on the baby quilt I am working on and have almost finished hand quilting another cat on Loni's quilt.  My shoulder wouldn't allow me to finish the cat tonight.

I only had one really bad spell today, and I recovered quicker than usual.  I still miss Raymond every single day, and our anniversary is never easy on me. 

Accomplishment #2

Today I cleaned and organized my quilting cabinet drawers, and emptied two large rolling bins by consolidating like items and purging items no longer needed. 

I also couch coached Loni through finishing her first quilt using the baby Bernina.

I Love Him, but the Oldest is Driving me Crazy!

My oldest son is all of the following (in no particular order):

• Sweet
• Kind
• Considerate (most of the time)
• Gentle
• Intelligent
• Handsome
• Funny
• Interesting
• Frugal
• Loyal

He has many more wonderful qualities besides those, but I can't think of any more when I am so aggravated.

The boy really needs to "grow some balls" when it comes to his girlfriend and their relationship.  The angst this relationship causes him sometimes is ridiculous and so  unnecessary.  He will not stand up for what he wants.  Tonight he is doing something he wanted to do, and something he didn't want to do.  In fact, earlier in the day he actually put his foot down and said he was only doing part of the evenings activities she had planned, but then she complained and he capitulated. Of course in the process of him giving in, I have to listen to, watch, and try not to kill him while he is getting ready to do something he does not want to do because he did not stand up for himself.  I just want to scream!

Raymond was not that way.  Of course, the boys may not be able to remember that since they were still young and probably not paying attention when Raymond became ill.  It could be the only role model they have of how a man and women relate is the one where I pretty much ran the show because Raymond was too ill, or didn't care because he was feeling good and just wanted to d his own thing.  

I just don't see that they are having any fun in their relationship.  They have been together over a year, but are not engaged, or anything more than not dating others.  Why aren't they out having fun, laughing, and learning new things instead of bothering about all these relationship issues that may not come into play if they decide to stay together.  After all, they both still have a lot to learn and some growing up to do before they get married.  

Did I mention that most of their arguing is done by text?  Type type type, slam.  Type, type, type, slam.  Loud sigh. Start process over again. 

I just hope I survive.