What the heck was I thinking?
Why did I think I needed to find myself? I really don't need to know me. There is a lot to be said for being lost.
My plan was to "find me" through my trip to Alaska and being with nature with a few adventurous excursions. I thought I would do some fun activities I used to enjoy back in the day. I was even thinking of taking a class or two. Nice gentle steps. Nothing too jarring. After all I am writing brutally honest things in my journals on a regular basis. That is a huge step.
That is not how this is going. It is like once I said the words "Finding Me" the flood gates opened up. I had no idea so many people wanted to kick me out into the world again. I also did not know that there would be so many people who are not going to let me go back into my bubble.
I miss my bubble. It was so safe and secure. This new world of discovery ...well everything is just rushing at me at once.
My friends seem to be feeding more line out into my tethering rope instead of tightening it up and making sure I am in my safe zone. When it comes to my girls, well I know that Loni and Mina will always be there watching over the Mama, but lately they don't seem to have any qualms about pushing Mama through a door, especially since I said I was looking for myself.
It is very scary. I don't know if I can do it. I also know I don't have an option.
3 comments:
Not so much pushing Mama through the door as much as it is keeping you out the door... it's like those Mama Birds that have to push the babies out of the nest so that they can stretch their wings and fly. Oh, we'll always be there to watch over you, just as you watch over us... but we'll keep on encouraging you to stretch your wings! Love you!
Think of it as gentle nudges; not pushing. You cannot be a hermit forever; it is time to go outside again. Hugs!!
Were you really all that happy in your bubble? Probably not and this is a way for you to potentially find your way back to your happy place. Love you!!
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