Catching Up

I am way behind on posting on this blog. 

Life has been very hectic this year, and when I have free time I have pretty much been quilting and watching old episodes of Hell's Kitchen over updating the blog.

Adding a grief group facilitator to my list of responsibilities beginning in the end of February meant another night of the week I was booked for 13 weeks.  I was one of three facilitators and I must say the whole experience was a roller coaster of emotions.  To end the sessions and then be told that you "made a huge difference in my life" was very rewarding when I wasn't sure how things were going in the sessions.

Another night of the week has been taken up with a quilting club, that I never intended to join.  I joined out of guilt after several people invited me to the club  It is a great group to be in and I love all the ladies and the laughter, but the project is straight from hell.  Despite all the errors that were made in the beginning, we have made a group quilt and are currently hand quilting the blocks and sashings.  Sometimes it feels like we will never be finished, especially since several women have dropped out due to health issues that have cropped up during this project.  Once the quilt is done, we will turn it into a sit and sew group and I am sure I will enjoy it much more.  It will be designated time to work on my projects.

Work has been extremely busy the last few weeks as I have been participating in the transitioning out of my old boss and transitioning in the new boss.  So far I am really pleased with my new boss.  She will definitely be part of my "be the change" this year.  She has already shown that she appreciates me and my abilities.

As for how am I doing on the "Be the Change " part of my year, I think I am doing okay.  I have been stepping out of my comfort zone by taking on a facilitator's position, joining an outside group, and today I went to a 4th of July brunch where I only knew the hostess and her husband, and I have only known them for a week. (It was at my home of my new boss.)  I have not behaved as a wallflower at any of these events.  In fact this morning I tried to go up and introduce myself as each new person entered since it was a come and go event. I have also signed up for an upcoming event, that I have avoided in the past.

Unfortunately, one of my buddies passed away on June 26.  He was 89.  I am happy I was able to visit him several times before he was no longer aware of who was in the room.  He sang to me one day, and we were able to exchange "I love you's."  I will miss seeing him. 

This weekend will be the wedding of one of the boys who has been in and out of my house since he was in 3rd grade.  The great thing about it is I love his fiancee and she spends a lot of time here too.  So they will not be going out of my life, it will just be a different relationship for all of us.  

One other catching up point and it will be bedtime for me.  I have decided to go back to Alaska on another cruise.  The price was right, the timing was right, and since it is a known factor to it there won't be a lot of stress attached to the trip.  I am not planning on doing a lot of excursions, but I am planning on detoxing a lot of stress out of my body.  This time there will be a verandah off the cabin, and a couple of different cities.  Loni will be traveling with me.  Unfortunately, Mina and Stan are already booked on their trips and will not be joining us.  The boys will be in school, but I already told the youngest he never had to travel with me again, and I told the oldest that he would have to pay his own way from now on.  

Tomorrow is a new day in more ways than one.  I am looking forward to seeing what will happen. 

The Theme of My 54th Year

On April 18th I turned 54 years old.  

I have spent the last 6 months thinking about this birthday and the theme for the year. I had two themes that kept coming up in my head over and over.

My choices:

•  "Let it Be" which several people just laugh at because they know I am pretty much incapable of letting things go. However, several times lately I have awakened with this Beatles song running through by head. That being said, there are a few things in my life that I really need to learn to let go or one of the most important relationships in my life may be ruined forever.  I have shed a lot of tears over not being able to let some things go in the past year. 
  
• "Be the Change" is all about some of the changes I am making in my life.  Right now they are not huge changes, but I hope they are permanent changes. "Letting it Be" could be a part of the "changes."  This one climbed to the top of the list because when I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago, I opened a drawer and found a blank diary with a soft green cover with the words "Be the Change" on the front.  "Be the Change" says it pretty clear. I have to "Be" the "Change." The kind of changes I need to make cannot be made by anyone else.

Due to the fact that "Let it Be" can fall under "Be the Change," I am officially naming my 54th year as the year of "Be the Change."

I am in Love with The Wood Brothers

I came across this band as I was looking at the top 100 root rock bands of 2012 and now I am totally in love and obsessed with them.  I can't stop listening to their songs to the point where one of them keeps popping up in my dreams and I wake up tapping my toes.

Such a toe tapper!


Ya gotta love the beat!


I love it!

I'm Happy to Report

I heard from Randy last night and I am happy to report he has found a girlfriend.  I have been praying that he would get someone in his life that could really be there for him and I believe he might have met that person.  

I wish them both the very best and may they be very happy together.  Randy has a lot of love to give and he deserves that much love back.

Getting Close

It is getting close to the time for me to pick my theme for my 54th year.  

The song "Let it Be" still keeps popping into my head at random times.  I am unclear as to why since, while it is a good song, it is not a song I listen to very often.

The other song that has been coming up in my mind is David Bowie's "Changes."  Bowie has always been one of my favorites so I can understand it being in my mind, but I haven't listened that song in a while.

I can see a need for me to let things be, and to make changes.  So I am not sure what direction I will go in yet.

Of course I still have 15 days to decide, so it could be something completely different. 

Spring Break 2013

I chose not to take vacation during Spring Break this year even though I knew my youngest would be home all week.  It is still just a little to cold to go fishing, so I worked through the week instead, but still had a wonderful Spring Break.

Biggest surprise of Spring Break was that my oldest came home late on Thursday night and stayed through late Sunday night.  I really enjoyed having both of the boys in the house at once.  It felt like a home again instead of just a place I live in.  

We didn't do anything special but the boys were very helpful around the house, and the house was full of some of their friends home from college. There was lots of laughter and teasing.  

It was a very nice Spring Break.

Taxes - I Need the Teamwork

I swore I would do the taxes yesterday, but every time I started to get everything out I found something else to do. I finally contacted the youngest and asked if I could bribe him to help me out today, and he said "yes."

Today while we were working on the taxes I did not have the anxiety that I usually do when collecting all the items and filling out the forms for the CPA, and I realized it was because of the teamwork.

Now the youngest did not need to do much.  He set up the table, brought in the box, typed out the things on the computer that I dictated to him, and made copies, but it made a huge difference for me to have his help.

The teamwork calmed me.  Raymond and I always did the taxes together.  He would do the forms and tell me what documentation he needed and I would pull the papers out of the file and wait for my next set of instructions.  We always talked about what a great team we made when it came to the taxes.

I told the youngest about how his dad and I worked together today.  I thanked him several times and paid my bribe.  

Another year until I start having the anxiety attacks again.