2009 Tree with "Naked Santa"

I Don't Mind Sharing, But...

One of the best gifts I received Christmas 2008 was a beautiful green afghan knitted by Loni.  She spent a lot of time on it and carried it for many months to complete it in time for me, so besides being beautiful, it means a lot to me.

It is the perfect nap cover since I like a cover on me to nap even on days when the temperature is over 100.  It is a perfect cover for watching television in my cold house, and my friends will tell you I keep a cold house. 

It is because I keep a cold house that I don't mind sharing my afghan or one of the many quilts I keep in the living room when friends come over for an evening.  Loni, Mina, and Jill have all used my afghan at one time or another and I am happy for them to snuggle with it as long as they don't try to take it with them when they leave.  It is all part of being family.

I was quite shocked the other night though when one of the usual college kids that hangs here on holidays walked into the room and took the afghan off the back of the couch and walked back into the playroom as he told me over his shoulder that he was cold.  It was all I could do not to snatch it out of his hands.  I was not prepared to share it with a teenage boy and have it get boy cooties!  I ran into the playroom and offered to turn up the heat, but he said no, the afghan was plenty warm.  I wanted to scream. 

I walked back into the living room and tried to think of a polite way to snatch my afghan back without seeming like a crazed lunatic or worse an ungracious host.  If I turned up the heat, he might sweat on my afghan.  If I took him another blanket instead he might be insulted.  We hugged when he came in so I knew he didn't stink.  He wasn't eating or drinking anything so I knew he wouldn't soil my afghan.  I just didn't want him to have it or to share it with any of the other boys in the room. 

I finally decided to turn up the heat on that side of the house since it was almost midnight and the heat was about to go off for the night and the boys tend to stay until about 3 a.m.  After about 30 minutes I went in and the afghan was sitting on the recliner while the boys were gathered around the table playing cards.  I casually picked it up and took it back to its rightful place in the living room. 

Next time the college crowd comes over I will make sure to have the afghan wrapped around me and cheap fleece blankets available for the playroom. 

2009 Review

Summary of my life in 2009:

• Empty Nest
• New Boss
• Finally finished all but one quilt in the pile.
• New medication has really helped.
• A very special woman in my life passed away, but she left me with some wonderful life lessons.
• Lots of special times with friends.
• I was luckier than most financially during these unstable financial times thanks to lessons learned from my mother.
• Read lots of books, but Wally Lamb's "The Hour I First Believed" has really stayed in my mind.
• I have no major regrets in 2009. I still question some of my decisions, but I realize I can only push forward, as there are some things that just cannot be changed.  I will always want to be taller, thinner and  beautiful.  I will never have enough money to live where I want and do as I want, to support all my friends, and give millions to all my charities. I cannot bring Raymond back.  I cannot make my boys only do what I want them to do, no more than I can protect them from every harm.  Fortunately in 2009 I have learned to live with those facts easier than ever before.
• It was a good year.

2010 bring it on.  I am will take whatever you give me, just as I have in the past.  I hope it will be a really good year, and I will do the best I can to make it that way for all my loved ones, but I know (even if I don't act like it) that I cannot control everything, I can only make the very best of what is thrown at me and keep on plugging along.

Mobia

I finally finished settling my mother's estate and decided to give myself another gift from my mother.  A Mobia by Nautilus. 

I missed my treadmill more than I thought I would and started looking into something new to replace it.  I found this on the internet and thought it would be a good choice.  Then I had Loni and Sis look into it too. 

It was set up on Saturday, December 19 and I love it! 

The promotion for it says you will see benefits if you use it 30 minutes three times a week.  I will admit that I can not do 30 minutes at a time yet.  However, I can do it several times a day.  At first after 2 minutes I was done for.  This morning I did 8 minutes and could have probably made it 10, but I am easily bored and I had nothing to watch.  I was reading but I had been reading in bed for hours so was ready to move on.  I will get on it several more times today. 

I think this is a good choice for me to get more exercise, especially since I am working longer hours now.  Even when I was getting home at 3 p.m. I wouldn't get out of the house.

Now that I have been told I am a diabetic it is even more important that I exercise regularly.  I want to stay off medication as long as possible, which means I must lose weight (which I have been doing) in 2010. I can no longer keep talking about losing weight, I must take action.

My Four Christmases

Christmas Eve 2008 Loni, Mina and I went to see the movie "Four Christmases"  which reminded me so much of some of my Christmases growing up that I was crying through the laughter.   Growing up I often had several Christmases, not because of divorced families, but because there was my mom's family, dad's family, our family, and then my Christmas with friends.

This year I had my own four Christmases.

My first Christmas was on Sunday, December 20, when Loni, Mina, Stan, and Jill came over for dinner, my youngest's family birthday, and our Christmas gift exchange.  The boys and I had decorated the house  that morning and had the tree all ready for when everyone arrived.  I was so happy to have most of my extended family here.  Dinner went smoothly, there was lots of laughter, and no one seemed unhappy with their gifts.  When the gift exchange was over we transitioned over to having our "Survivor" night by watching the finale.  (Lousy choice of winner, but Eric's speech gave everyone permission to vote that way.)  A perfect evening for Mamma C.

My second Christmas was on Wednesday, December 23.  My oldest's girlfriend came to spend the night and we made dinner, went out to see the local Christmas lights, had a gift exchange, and then watched "Four Christmases."  She seemed to really enjoy herself and liked her gifts.  This is their first Christmas together so it was very sweet. I was happy because Jill was here with us so I did not feel like a third wheel.

 My third Christmas was Christmas Eve extended to Christmas Day when the boys and I exchanged our gifts and did our family thing.  The boys did good in picking out a new robe, slippers, gloves, and quilting supplies.  Okay, I helped on the quilting supplies and robe, but they did the rest.  It was a nice laid back time which was good since the oldest and I both had colds and were not feeling well.  I did make homemade hamburger buns and we had ham from Dickey's, plus all the leftover ziti from when the girlfriend was here.

My fourth Christmas was on Sunday, December 27.  It was with Sis and her husband. They usually come Christmas evening, but they were snowed in for their Christmas Eve family celebration, and everything got pushed back a little.  I had not seen her face in a while so it was wonderful to be with them for even a short time.

My four Christmases this year were perfect. I feel so very blessed. 

Happy Home

I am happy when I am in my house.  It is my favorite place to be. 

Last night was I was very happy in my home because my girls and my BFF were here.  Even though I was running around trying to find something I have misplaced, their presence made me so very happy. 

L was knitting and watching "Survivor" and "The Mentalist." 

M was studying for a test today.

BFF was looking at fabric and relaxing.

The only thing that would have made it better is if the boys had been in the other room laughing and goofing off.

Donations

I worked the food pantry today.  A large donation came in from one source.  I was so excited.  I thanked the person profusely because there was such wide variety and there was so much of everything.

About five minutes after they left I was cursing them. Everything they donated was expired.  I don't mean a couple of months expired, I'm talking about dates like 2007!

I have a rule about food I donate - if I won't eat it, then why should anyone else.

Sheesh!

I Just Wanted to Change the Light Bulb

How long does it take the oldest and me to change a light bulb?  1 1/2 hours.

The oldest stopped by today and I asked him to help me change the light bulb in my bedroom and I wanted to wash the glass fixture.  I told him it wouldn't be a big deal.  Ha...Famous last words.

When he went to take the glass off to get to the bulbs the whole fixture fell off the ceiling and was dangling by the wires. Turns out that the man that installed it did not put the bolt in the middle of the fixture to keep it attached to the ceiling when you turned the glass.

The oldest went to get the tools, ladder, etc while I held the fixture and tried to figure out what to do next.  When he came in with all the tools we realized we would have to actually disconnect it from the wires and ground to find the right size bolt which meant turning off the breaker.

The oldest went to turn off the breaker while I held the light fixture.  Unfortunately, whoever wired our house originally was very creative about it.  It doesn't flow in a line. The breaker to my bedroom turned off the hall, and part of the living room, but not the bedrooms next to mine.  When the power went off to the hall and living room the carbon monoxide detector went off as did the phone system.  So we had beeping and long screeching going. 

I held the fixture while the oldest went to try to shut up the carbon monoxide detector, only he couldn't.  I thought I was in the "Friends" episode where Phoebe could not get her smoke detector to stop beeping.  I suggested we just get back to what we were doing and not worry about the screeching.  Of course that was before I knew how long it would take to get the fixture back up.  At one point I thought it had stopped screeching, but evidently I had just lost the ability to hear that range of sound because the oldest assured me it was still screeching.

It took a while to find a bolt that would fit, then we couldn't get the fixture back up.

I finally had to leave it to my oldest while I went to get ready to hear the Itzel's at church.

By the time I was ready to go, the light was back up and working just fine, but the next time the bulb burns out, I think I will just buy another lamp.

Need a Stocking Stuffer?

I bought some soap from Vegan Soap Kitchen recently at an arts and crafts fair.  I tried the spearmint and the frankincense and myrhh.  I liked both of them.  They have a deal going right now, so if you need a few stocking stuffers, you might check out their site.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/vegansoapkitchen

Enjoying My Boys

I love having the boys home for the holiday.  

The oldest picked the youngest up from Denton for me Wednesday morning while I was at work, then the oldest went to his classes.  When I got home the youngest and I ran an errand and then came home to bake 3 pumpkin pies before having dinner with my BFF and her family.  The oldest got home from his last class around 9:00 P.M. and we watched a Star Trek movie before bedtime.

Yesterday, Thanksgiving, was a very laid back day.  We purchased a new board game for the weekend called 24/7 and we played it over and over again.  I like it because I have to think, but not too hard, and it is does not take very long so we can play it several times over the course of the day.  The oldest wanted meatloaf for Thanksgiving so we made one late in the afternoon and then all had dinner together.  I love it when we go around saying what we are thankful for, the oldest was quite sincere in his blessings, the youngest ... not so much.  We watched "The Big Lebowski" and played more games.  Then late, late night television because we were just napping before getting up at 4:00 A.M. to hit EntertainMart for 50% off boxed sets, etc.

Of course when 4:00 A.M. rolled around  it was hard to get the youngest up.  We got to EntertainMart at 5:00 A.M. when they opened and it was not bad at all. We all found what we were looking for and then some.  Then we went to 1/2 Price Books and sat in the parking lot listening to CCR (Had to have it after watching "The Big Lebowski") until they opened and all the people waiting in line to get their free tote and $5.00 gift card where in. We were in and out of there pretty quick.  We all knew what we were looking for and we did not have to wait in line to check out. 

I came home and napped while they worked on homework and then we had to go out again to return a bad game disk and pick up a hostess gift for the oldest to give his girlfriend's mom tomorrow.  There were so few people out we stopped at Target to get my youngest some everyday items he needed for his dorm room. 

Another Star Trek movie and now they are in bed and I am trying to decide what I want to do.  I will probably watch some of my taped shows before turning in. 

I really am enjoying having the boys home.  It is really terrific. 

What am I thankful for this year? My boys and all my wonderful friends.  I am so blessed.  I wish everyone could have as much love in their life as I do. 

Guess

The Itzel Family is Coming!

The Itzel Family will be back in concert at Good Shepherd UMC on December 6, 2009 at 6:00 P.M. They were at the church last year and I came away so energized and entertained.

I am not one that attends a lot of events at church being that I am so set in my ways, and the fact that I spend my entire day there so it is hard to go back for other events, but this is not one I will miss.

If you would like to hear a sample of their music you can go to www.billandkarenitzel.com.

I know this is a busy time of year for everyone, but taking the time out to hear the Itzel Family is worth it. This concert is free to the public, but a love offering for the Itzel Family will be collected.

Pirate Radio

We had a family day Saturday and went to see "Pirate Radio" and loved it. What fun. I was dancing in my seat.

I have probably seen more movies in the theater this year than I have in the last 20.

A Nice Family Weekend

I enjoyed my weekend.

Friday I picked up the youngest from school and then we met the oldest for dinner. We made a quick trip to the bookstore and then it was home to watch "The Wrath of Khan" and play games.

Saturday we went to an arts and crafts fair where the oldest and I both won door prizes and we made a few purchases. After taking our purchases home we stopped to feed Sis' dog and then to Mimi's for lunch.

Saturday evening everyone went off on their own. The oldest to see his girlfriend, the youngest to see a play and spend the night with friends, and my BFF came over for a night of yakking, and quilting.

Sunday I went to church and then picked up the youngest. The oldest came home and we went to see "The Men Who Stare at Goats." We all loved the movie. Napping followed the movie and then it was time to take the youngest back. The oldest went with us and after dropping the youngest off at his dorm we picked up the oldest's girlfriend and went to dinner at a chinese restaurant.

It was nice to for us all to be together for most of the weekend.

November in Texas

My flowers are very confused after all the fall rains. The roses in the front are in full bloom, and the back yard container gardens are in full bloom too.

If You Visit, Leave the Lid Up

I don't have the type of pets that drink out of the toilet, so I never put the lid of the toilet down.

I also have a horrible tendency to wait until the very last minute to go across the length of the house to use the bathroom since I only like my bathroom, so by the time I arrive it is usually a very urgent matter.

My BFF has the type of pets that like to drink out of the toilet and she always puts the lid down on the toilet, even at my house.

My BFF and her hubby have had some stresses in their life lately, so I invited them to dinner tonight to pamper them. Her hubby could not get away, but BFF came over and we had a nice dinner and an even nicer visit.

Now BFF used my bathroom earlier in the evening and then I used it and was pleased to see that she had been listening to my griping and had left the lid up. She then used my bathroom before she went home, only I did not go back in there.

About 3 hours after she left and 4 glasses of iced tea, I needed to make a trip to my bathroom. Unfortunately, I had been on and off the phone, and taking care of some business so by the time I decided to actually take the trip across the house it was quite urgent. In fact, I was running by the time I go to the hallway. Now I have a very bad habit of not using lights in the house when I am alone, but something flicked in my mind as I was running into the bathroom and I thought to hit the switch. Thank goodness I did. The lid was down!!! I got it up in time but barely.

I am not used to that at all. Raymond was trained and my boys are trained that if you use my bathroom, you do not leave the seat up, or the lid down.

I think BFF is going to be banned from my bathroom and assigned to use the youngest's, because one of these days there is going to be an accident and I do not think BFF is going to drive over to clean it up. Love you girl, but you have to use the little bathroom now.

Freaked Out!

I tape shows on my computer all week long and then as I have time I watch them. Tonight I watched "Grey's Anatomy," "Private Practice," and "The View."

Now saying "I watched" is probably a stretch. They are on, and I am listening, but I am not looking up very much unless it sounds particularly interesting.

So here I sit, it is after midnight, I am listening to "The View" and playing "Bubble Spinner" when something that is said catches my attention and I look to the screen. What I saw completely blew my mind. It was my dad. At first my brain tried to make the face go with what was being said by Whoopi Goldberg, but it was not working. I was so confused. Why was my dad's face on the screen. Maybe it was not my dad. Maybe it was an actor they were talking about. My emotions were all over the place. Was my dad coming for a visit?

I started hitting buttons on my remote control to get the picture on the screen to go with the words that were being said. Nothing happened. Then all of a sudden Raymond's youngest sister was on the screen. What the "H?" I hit another button and Raymond's other sister was on the screen. I hit another button and "The View" was back on like nothing had ever happened.

I have to say I was freaked out for several minutes. Then I was just sad because I miss my dad.

The Oldest

The oldest in Austin.

He looks so much like his dad, and here he is wearing one of his dad's shirts.

In fact, I have noticed that most of my oldest's shirts are from Raymond's closet. That boy really needs to get some new clothes. That shirt must be at least seven years old, but probably even older.

Holding on to old clothes must be in our dna, I have shorts that I wear in the summer that I bought before the oldest as born. He is 19. Then there is the ratty robe.

Lots of Flashbacks

I have been having a lot of flashbacks lately back to my college days. I think it is from listening to my boys talk about their experiences.

I certainly went back in time Saturday after having lunch with my oldest and the girl he is, according to his Facebook page, in a "relationship" with at this time. There was a certain sense of deja vu about their interaction that reminded me of when Raymond and I were dating.

I always have a lot of flashbacks in the fall. It is my favorite time of year, but not in Texas. One place I always think of in the fall is the Renfro Valley area of Kentucky. I would pass through there every weekend on my way home from college and it was would take my breath away each time.

Lake Linville - Renfro Valley, KY

The Noise Outside

I was sitting here watching recorded shows on my computer and goofing around on the internet when I started hearing funny sounds outside. Now I have been really good about not getting spooked in the house on these long nights, but I really could not figure out where the sounds were coming from. The unidentified sounds were making my tummy go all "whooshy" and my heart pound.

My first thought was it might be my neighbor starting up his motorcycle, but he doesn't ride at night. My next thought was maybe my oldest was stopping by and he was bringing stuff in from the car, but he usually calls.

The sound was not going away, it was not getting louder, but I could not identify it and I was feeling a little paralyzed.

After a few more minutes I decided to check the weather on the internet. That is when I realized that we are under a severe thunderstorm watch and that there were storms already north of us. Of course by the time I figured out the noise was the distant storm the noise was obviously rolling thunder.

I had no idea there were storms around us, or that we were expecting any. That is what I get for isolating myself so much today. A "whooshy" stomach and a pounding heart.

Withdrawal

I'm going through Nip Tuck withdrawal.

I do not have cable, and I have missed seeing a lot of cable shows, but Nip Tuck was one I was always hearing about and wanted to watch, so when I found the first season used and on sale I decided to try it.

I am addicted. I ended up hunting down and finding the full series to date on dvds on sale and with coupons. Then I started watching the dvds.

At first it was one or two episodes on the weekend. Then, as I got further into the series, it was a full dvd on Sunday, until Season 5 when I just could not stop watching. I would get up early and watch an episode before work, and then come home and watch one or two episodes before dinner. Tonight was the last episode I had to watch. I watched it when I came home from Sis' house. I'm already missing my favorite characters.

The worse part is I know the new season has started.

I will also have to find something to watch next. Most of the new shows this season are horrible and I do not have enough shows to provide my background noise while I quilt.

Hominy

OK, I almost freaked out a little tonight while eating at Sis' house.

Sis made this wonderful chicken tortilla soup. It had a great consistency, and the perfect blend of spices to make the taste buds all happy, but it also had an ingredient that haunted my childhood ... HOMINY.

When I first saw it on my spoon in the mix with the other veggies I tried to tell myself that it was something else, but I knew that shape. I was worried that I would have a flashback and not be able to put the spoon in my mouth, but I closed my eyes, and there was not a problem. In fact, when I make the soup for my oldest, I will put it in, but I will have to close my eyes when I open the can.

Hominy was one of those things that my parents loved and I thought came straight from hell. It might have been the way the prepared it, or how it was served on the plate, but I could barely gag it down. It seemed to appear on my plate way too often, and I never understood why. In fact, I don't remember my parents ever eating it again after I became a teenager. It was like it was just there to torture me as a young child.

I did not like the smell, the look, the taste, nothing about it was appealing, yet being from a family that made me eat everything that was on my plate, gag it down I would. It seems it was never served with anything that I could mix it with to hide the taste. It was just there.

To this date, I have never had hominy in my house, but I liked this soup, and I don't think the texture will be right without it, so I guess it will make its entrance. I will only buy enough for the soup. Here is hoping there are no nightmares to go with it.

Sister Night

I had dinner with my "Sis" and her husband tonight and then Sis and I sat and talked for over 2 hours. It was great. I probably overstayed my welcome, but it had been so long since we had been together.

Sis loves Halloween and her house is all decorated and looks so great. She made chicken tortilla soup and it was just a perfect evening.

Miss my "Sis"

Sis and I never have time together these days. I miss her.

We talk on the phone but it is not the same.

I thought I would see more of her with both of the boys gone, but we are both busy in different ways.

I work longer hours than I did in the past, and she has obligations that keep her from being available.

We are going to have to find a solution though because I miss her.

Giggling?

OK, my oldest has had girlfriends before, but never one he giggled over.

Friday Night Date Night

L & M were kind enough to invite Mamma C to dinner tonight and M's hubby S was there.

We went to Olive Garden and I had a delightful time catching up with M and S. L and I pretty much caught up on Survivor night.

We realized while talking that M will not be able to bake the cookies for Trunk or Treat like she did last year so L and I will have to do that on Survivor night. That will be something we haven't done before, but I have a double oven so it should go quick.

I enjoy being with the girls. They are so kind to me. They never make me feel like a third wheel, and there are always lots of laughs.

It is Just Common Courtesy

I was raised to be courteous to others, and I would say that I am 97% of the time in the outside world, but probably only about 55% of the time in my home, but I live by myself so what does it matter.

Evidently, the woman at Target Wed. night was never introduced to the idea of courtesy.

All I wanted to do was look at the candles that were on sale. There was one shelving unit of candles on sale and the rest of the aisle of candles were regular price. A woman not much younger than I am was looking at the non-sale candles, but she had placed her cart in front of the sale candles. I said "excuse me" and reached over her cart to pick up a sale candle. Now if someone has to reach over my cart for an item, I immediately move my cart and say "I'm sorry." This woman just gave me a nasty look.

I decided to take a stroll through the store with the hope that the woman would be gone and I could look at the candles before I got busy and forgot them. When I went back about five minutes later she was still there, with her cart in front of the sale candles. I was running out of time so I reached over again while saying "Pardon me." Nothing but a nasty look. I know it was her cart because she had her purse in it and had already placed some candles in the cart.

Now I really wanted to grab her cart and move it out of the way, but I chose to walk around some more since I was waiting on a prescription and still had time. Ten minutes later, the woman was still there, and I was getting irritated. I decided to stroll up and down the candle aisle. She looked up at me and went back to looking at the candles. I gave up.

I went ahead and made my purchases in the pharmacy and then as I was leaving I saw her in a different aisle and I went over to check on the candles. I didn't find a candle like I was looking for, which just irritated me more because if she had just moved her cart a little I would have known that at the beginning of the shopping trip and spent my time trying to figure out something I could use instead of a candle for my project.

I cannot imagine not moving my cart for someone. Sure sometimes my boys have to tell me I am in the way because maybe I am reading a label and the person hasn't said anything to me, but I usually always notice and if I am going to be looking at several items in one area I try to put my cart in a position where it does not block anyone. (Never leave your purse in the cart.) It is just common courtesy.

Flashback

It is really foggy out tonight. When I came back from dinner with L my street was so foggy I could not find my driveway. It made me have a major flashback.

When I lived in Kentucky our house was on Lake Cumberland. It was often extremely foggy. I remember many nights when I would come home from a date and I would have to slide over and drive while my date laid on the hood of the car and looked for the turn in to our subdivision. I was always terrified that we would get rear ended by someone coming around the curve too fast. There had been some terrible accidents at the entrance of our subdivision due to fog.

Other times we would drive with the passenger door open and look for the turn in, but that was tricky because the door often kept you from seeing the turn in fast enough. Hanging your head out of the window was okay, but not as good as laying on the hood.

Another bad thing was that there was no way to get to my house from town without going over the Fishing Creek bridge. Of course I hate bridges so on foggy nights I would not be able to tell I was on a bridge, but I also could not tell if I was actually going across the bridge or missing the bridge and heading into the lake.

I hope the fog will be lighter in the morning, but at least I have experience with driving in the thick stuff.

Good Day

I had a good day. What is a good day for me? Well, here it is spelled out:

• Got up and made Fiber One Banana Nut Muffins for breakfast.
• Watched Nip Tuck dvds while wrapped up in my afghan L made me.
• Ate muffins when they were done.
• Watched more Nip Tuck dvds.
• Called and talked to my "Sis" for a while.
• Called and talked to my brother for forty minutes.
• Picked up L and we went to see "Couples Retreat" and to dinner.
• Called and talked to my oldest.
• Called and talked to my BFF.
• Called and talked to my youngest.
• Getting ready to curl up and watch shows. No quilting today, but that is okay, my shoulders need a break.

How could the day have been better? If I had seen "Sis" face to face, M could have gone to the movie and dinner with us, and BFF was here watching shows with me. Yes, I left out my boys in making my day better, but they are off doing their own things right now and that is good.

I hope my week is as good as my weekend.

Kindle2 Update

I still love my Kindle2. I think M needs one since she travels so much. It would be perfect for her trip to Hawaii as she would not have to haul her bag of books and mags with her. (Hint to S for Christmas.)

For the last few months I have actually been reading library and Half Price clearance books because quite frankly until I win the lottery (that I don't play) I cannot afford to put every book I read on the Kindle2. However, this is the time of year most of my favorite authors release new books so I have been downloading books like crazy. It is so wonderful to be reading my Kindle2 again.

This morning I downloaded another book and also found a free book that I added to my collection. I currently have 11 books and 15 samples available for reading. I have read 14 books on the Kindle2 since purchasing it in April.

Of course, I have so many quilting projects going that it will probably take me until next Christmas to read everything I have downloaded.

Happy Birthday BFF

Today was the day my BFF and I celebrated her birthday. It was last weekend, but circumstances prevented us from having a celebration.

Our first stop was a trip to the new popcorn/candy store in town that has a lot of the candy from our youth. I gave her some cash and told her to shop. I think she had fun.

After the candy store it was lunch at Chuy's, and a trip to Entertainmart where I bought the "Sex in the City" dvd for us to watch tonight.

Once home we had some of the cake I made her, which was a huge disappointment. I used one of the suggested alternative ingredients and it made the cake very dry. The ganache was fabulous though.

It was a great day because we spent it together. It is so nice to have a friend that you can sit around and relax with and be yourself.

Happy Birthday BFF.

Never Fear My Friends, I am SOOOOO Over It!

A huge "THANK YOU" to all my friends that posted comments, called, and reached out to me after my last post, but never fear my dear friends, I am SOOOOOOOO over it.

Yes, last night and this morning were extremely dark for me, but I after five minutes with my youngest I was back to my old self. In fact, he will be lucky if I don't ruin his life!

The oldest is really pushing his luck too.

So I am back to my old self. Maybe Raymond did listen to all the ranting and raving I did at him last night.

I am truly thankful to all of you that reached out, even though I told you not to, and I was unable to talk to most of you because I kept crying and had too much work to do to allow myself to keep rehashing it all in my mind. I am truly blessed to have all of you in my life.

Really Struggling

I am really struggling tonight.

There is nothing anyone can do to help. I know that my friends will all see this and call and ask if they can help, but they can't. I don't even want to talk to anyone about it.

I think I made a huge mistake. I think I have ruined my youngest's life. I didn't have Raymond here to talk to and help me take inventory and now here I am crying in my chair and wishing I had thought to discuss this with Raymond before he died.

We tried to cover everything. We would sit and discuss the future and try to think of things that might come up and how we would handle it, but I can't remember us discussing this and now I am sitting here terrified that I have really screwed up.

I am going to see my youngest tomorrow and we will discuss my decision. In the meantime I will pray. I will also yell and scream at Raymond and beg him to let me know that it will be okay.

If it isn't...I pray the youngest will forgive me.

Boring Life Right Now

My life is boring right now.

BFF is sick. Did not get my night out with my Tues. night girls and I won't be able to do Survivor night. I'm just hanging on for the weekend.

I have big plans for the weekend.

Best thing about this weekend is that both boys will be with me Friday night. YEAH!!! The oldest is even going to spend the night so that will be terrific.

Saturday is the Cottonwood Arts Festival. I have no wall space left but if I see something that "speaks" to me, I am not going to leave it behind.

I also hope the three of us can go to a movie on Sunday.

A real family weekend.

Of course, I still hope BFF will be better and we can celebrate her birthday Saturday night, as long as she doesn't bring over any germs.

My Condolences to the Wife

My BFF and I went to dinner tonight at a local Italian restaurant. At the table next to us was a couple probably around our age with an elderly couple. I noticed them when we sat down because the older woman had on a very attractive outfit.

We had not been sitting down long before the younger of the two men asked if he could have the cheese container off our table. We gave it to him and evidently he took that as an invitation to bring us into his evening out. An invitation we could have done without.

What an obnoxious man. BFF thought he was drunk. I did not pay enough attention to him to see if that was true or not, but I was ready for him to quit talking to us. I was also ready for him to quit listening to our conversation. Towards the end of the evening he started reaching out and touching my arm, and he did the same to BFF. His wife just looked embarrassed by him.

I also did not like how he was treating the elderly couple. He was very condescending and seemed to take pleasure in humiliating the elderly gentlemen. I really did want to smack him down.

All I could think about as I left was how much I wanted to give my condolences to the wife for having a cretin for a husband. BFF said she was glad I kept my mouth shut.

One Minute Writer

http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2009/09/todays-writing-prompt-balloon.html
Balloon:If you could attach a message to a helium balloon, release it, and know that it would reach someone who has passed away, what would it say?

L told me about this prompt tonight. She usually posts these on her blog, but she thought of me on today's prompt. She said she knew who my message would go to, but that I would probably need a big balloon.

It is funny that this was the prompt today since I had a huge discussion with Raymond on the way home tonight, and, yes, I yelled a little.

What would my balloon say?

"I love you, I miss you. I am not whole without you, but I am trying to be. I wish you were here. Sometimes I pretend you are. I know I am not being as strong as you asked me to be, but I'm trying so that I won't let you down, especially with the boys. I wish I knew, I pray every day I did not let you down at the end. I wish ..."

The Wind in My Hair

I really enjoyed my drive tonight.

I went to Texas Quiltworks in Rockwall for a lesson from Judy Hall and to purchase some thread. On the way down it was raining on and off, but the trip home was beautiful.

I always love the drive because of the scenery, but tonight the weather was cool enough to roll down the windows, turn up the cd and just act the age I feel, which is about 20.

My "Daughter" Made Me Feel Old Tonight

I consider L & M to be my girls as in my daughters. Tonight they came to see Mamma C and I prepared dinner and then we settled down to watch the season premier of "Survivor." I had a terrific time and I think they did too. There were lots of laughs and knee slapping, along with some shouting at the television.

At some point we were discussing the current news and I mentioned the deaths this week of Patrick Swayze and Henry Gibson. L did not know who Henry Gibson was and I said he was on "Laugh In." L then said she was too young for "Laugh In." That really made me stop and take stock. Unfortunately, once I took stock I just realized that I am getting old.

I could have chosen to be depressed over the fact that I am getting so old that my friends don't have the same memories I have, but instead I just complained that she made me feel old and continued to have a fabulous time with my girls. In fact my sides hurt from all the laughter.

Part of the time we were planning L's outfit for when she goes on Survivor and how I could sew secret pockets for soap, toothbrushes, etc. L and/or M would be great on Survivor, but M would have to learn not to show her displeasure of certain things so much on her face.

I wish my BFF could have joined us but alas she was spending quality time with her family. She missed a good meal of chili with the fixin's, deviled eggs (for L & M cause they love them), grapes, and brownies. Hopefully she will come by for leftovers tonight or tomorrow.

Ratty Robe Picture Voted Down

I was looking at a free online site last night where you could post your information and meet members of the opposite sex, same sex, whatever for different reasons such as friendship, IM and email pals, dating, hook ups ... As I read some of the profiles of the men looking for friendship and their pictures I realized that if I were to post on this site I would have to post a picture.

My BFF thought I should use the picture that I have on my Facebook page, we also looked at some others that my oldest took recently. I vetoed those pictures.

As I sat and thought about what I would like in a male friend I realized that what I want more than anything is someone that will accept me as I am, and therefore I should just post a picture of me in my ratty robe. Well, my Pastor/Boss/Friend and BFF voted that down immediately. They said I definitely could not put a picture of that robe on the internet.

I don't know why I can't put a picture of me in the robe on the internet. I sewed up almost all the holes, and the robe does paint the picture of who I am at the end of the day.

I definitely would not do a glamour type picture for posting. That would really be a lie.

It does not really matter. I am not going to post, but I had fun with BFF reading the profiles.

Paul Shearer and Brian Holland

My BFF and I went to my church tonight to see Paul Shearer and Brian Holland play their guitars in their Circle Concert Series. To say they played their guitars is a wrong description. I don't know the word for what it is they do to their guitars to make the beautiful music that they made but it was fabulous.

Of course, I haven't heard Paul play in years without breaking into tears and tonight was no different. Raymond loved to hear Paul play and Paul was one of the musicians at Raymond's memorial service, so when Paul and Brian played a particularly beautiful piece of music tonight all I could think about was Raymond and how much he would have enjoyed it and I started sobbing. Then I cried through the next two songs before I got it under control.

One of the things I love about Paul is he understands. So at intermission when he came down to give me a hug he knew exactly why I was crying.

Paul is having another concert in October, and I can't wait.

Homesick for KY

Ever since I went to Bryan's on Sunday I have been homesick for KY.

I haven't been back since 1997 and even then once I got there I was ready to come back after four days as that is about how long it takes me to do my usual sightseeing and hikes.

I have only kept up with one friend there, and most of my blood relatives have died. Raymond's parents are still there, but that visit would probably only take a half day.

Fishing can be done in states much closer.

There are a few places I would like to go and just sit and look at the lake.

I would definitely have to go to Cumberland Falls for a couple of hours.

Targets

As L can tell you I hate to set goals. I do not like the word "goal." It is a guilt thing. If I set a goal and don't reach it then the guilt eats me alive.

When I started thinking about the boys moving out I knew I had to have a plan or I would end up reading, quilting, or watching television and not accomplish the things I really want to do now that the house is mostly mine. However, I did not want to set goals and set myself up for days of guilt, so I set up targets.

My main target each day is to do at least one hour of anything around the house that does not involve reading or quilting. Some nights I clean out closets or drawers, other nights I might clean the bathroom or kitchen. Not all targets are about cleaning, some are simply playing a different game on the internet or Wii.

Tonight my target was to start on the laundry room. I worked on the laundry and cleaning out the clean clothes and sweeping the floor. Tomorrow I hope to start on the cabinets. I am setting myself up to be totally indifferent to everything in the each cabinet so that I won't keep anything because of an emotional attachment. There are cabinets in there I have not opened in years, so the emotional attachment can't be that strong.

The night's I meet my target I feel excited and successful. The night's I don't meet my targets I just think of all the fun I had doing something else.

It is funny how one word can paralyze me, whereas another lets me move on through life.

Bouncing Back and Forth

I keep bouncing back and forth as to whether or not I want to start dating.

My main issue with the idea is that I have no idea where to go to meet a man other than internet dating and that costs money.

I guess I could go to a bigger church, but I don't like big churches

Bars are out.

My hobbies do not necessarily attract men.

I do not want to go back to night classes.

The list just goes on and on and it all boils down to the fact that I am not interested in working at meeting men. So I guess that means I will not date.

However, I miss talking to a man, going on hikes with a man and sitting next to a man in a movie theater.

Labor Day Weekend

I enjoyed being with my boys over Labor Day.

I picked the youngest up from TAMS on Friday and then he and I ran an errand on the way home to pick him up some necessary items for his dorm room, including 42 cans of Annie's Cheesy Ravioli that was on sale $1.00 a can. We then came home and made spaghetti and watched dvd's.

Saturday there was an emergency at the church so the boys and I went over there to get things back on track. After getting the emergency taken care of we went to Mimi's for breakfast, followed by Target and a couple of other stops.

The youngest has friends over later on Saturday, and my BFF came over for several hours.

Sunday I stopped by a friend's house as he and his wife were having a get together. I did not stay long as I am not much of a party person. When I got home, the boys and I hit the 20% off everything sale at "Half Price Books" and then the sale at "Entertainmart." After wearing ourselves out shopping we stopped for dinner and then came home to play games and watch dvds.

Monday was a lazy day with the boys followed by taking the youngest back to campus in the evening.

The traffic coming home was horrible. I was glad my oldest went along for company.

It was very hard to get up and go to work this morning.

Great Weigh In Tonight

I had a great weigh in at TOPS tonight. I know that part of the loss because I have been sick, but even without that I have really been trying to lose weight.

I spent a good portion of this year not really trying, but I have had a change of attitude and I am really trying now. It helps living on my own.

I am not going to stress over every up but I am going to really enjoy each down, and tonight was a big down. YIPPEEE!!!!!

Bird Watching

I'm sitting here in my chair watching the birds.

I have about 7 little finches sitting in the watermelon feeder and one loner in the sunflower feeder.

Hummingbirds are flitting around the latest hummingbird feeder trying to decide if they want to switch or stick to the tried and true feeder.

There is a squirrel scampering about picking up spilt seed.

Pretty much a perfect world right here in my chair.

Nice Sick Day

I am still feeling lousy with this bronchitis, and the meds make me all jittery and make everything taste like chalk, but my BFF made it a good day any way.

She came over mid morning and drove me to work so that I could make sure the a/c was set correctly and straighten out the children's library. Then she took me where I could get some nice warm soup for lunch.

We came back to the house and watched movies together, looked at quilt books, and she sorted through fabric while I offered my opinion. She made sure I took my meds, and that I gagged down some liquids. It was a very nice relaxing sick day, and it was nice to have some company.

Of course her running from the skunk when she left made me laugh so hard I coughed for about an hour after she left. I had no idea she could run that fast. Oh, dear, there I go again with the laughing/coughing thing. I wish I had a video of it.

Pouting

My youngest child has not called me since the first night he was at school. I have to force him to talk to me instant messenger. He doesn't need me any more, and doesn't seem to really even miss me.

I knew that would happen when he left, but he could at least pretend to miss me.

A Lot of "I" Statements

I have made it through an almost full week of being on my own and I am doing quite well, except that I am sick.

I started feeling bad on Tuesday and by Wednesday I was feeling lousy. Wednesday night I had a fever and I had to stay home from work on Thursday. The doctor could not see me until today and now I am on antibiotics, an inhaler, cough syrup, and more Mucinex. The problem is that every medication requires that I drink lots of liquids and nothing tastes good, especially water.

My king sized quilt is back from the quilter's and it is so pretty. I am going next week to learn how to square it up and finish it.

I have really been enjoying my birds, doves, finches, and hummingbirds.

Until this bronchitis knocked me back I was in the process of starting on a room at a time and cleaning out things and finally getting rid of things I should have let go of a long time ago.

The bad thing is that mail is piling up again. I have a lot of papers I need to read and sign and I just haven't had the concentration for that sort of work while I have been sick. Hopefully I will get to that soon.

I finished a quilt for Project Linus and I think it turned out pretty cute. I hope L can snatch up some more for me to work on. I work best on projects when I am in my own space and in my ratty robe. I don't really like going to "sewing" or "quilting" times even though I am invited to one almost every week. It seems unproductive to gather up all my stuff and then to have to set it up again so I can work, when all I have to do here is turn on the machine and get to work.

I am proud of myself lately for making positive changes in my life.

I miss the boys, but I don't miss the boys. I am happy that they are out making new friends, and trying new things.

I wish there was something new on television to watch. I want my shows to come back on.

I think I will take a nap now.

Fire Ants in More than my Pants

All week I have been finding fire ants in strange places. Last night 's experience was worse than the ones that were in my pants (under).

I keep my nightgowns in my linen closet in my bathroom since that is where I usually get dressed for bed. Last night I put my gown on and went to my room only to look down and see that my legs were covered in ants. By the time I reached down to start knocking them off I was feeling bites being taken out of me all over. I took my gown off and saw it was full of ants and I was covered in the red biters. It took me a while to get the ants off of me and by then I was quite miserable.

Where did those ants come from?

I took a flash light and looked in my linen closet and there were ants every where. I was too tired and in too much pain to deal with the ants at that time of night, so I went to bed and worked at getting to sleep.

This morning I told the youngest to stay away from the closet and once I got home from work tonight I started cleaning out and washing everything in the closet. I am taking quite a bit of delight from emptying dead ants from my lint tray in my dryer.

It will probably take me days to get everything out of the closet and to be rid of the ants, but at least I know where they are coming from now.

I hate fire ants. We did not have them in Kentucky. I am missing my old Kentucky home right now.

Random Thoughts

I am working way to many hours for what I get paid.

I need a man to talk to.

Where do you get a man?

I have way too much to do before next weekend.

I'm not working tomorrow. YEAH!

Plano Quilt Show here I come.

I am so blessed with my boys.

I have lots of wonderful friends.

I don't have to like everyone, but I do not need to let my dislike rule my life.

My youngest tried a new food tonight, on his own, by his own choice, and he liked it.

I wish I had enough money to do what I wanted with my property, like put in a small fishing tank.

I am tired, but it is a good tired.

I enjoy using my mind.

A Very Rude Awakening, Feel Free to Laugh

I had a very rude awakening this morning.

At night I always set out my “before the morning shower clothes.” These clothes go in a spot on the floor of the bathroom so that I can get up, sans glasses, get dressed and walk about the house doing piddling little things before breakfast and my shower.

This morning’s routine started out the same as every day. I put on my underclothes, put on my house dress and started towards the scale that I keep in the laundry room. As I started across the living room I felt a sharp sting at my waist. It made me take pause, but not much of one because I always have pain in the morning. As I continued across the living room I started feeling a stinging sensation in different parts of my nether region. As I entered the laundry room, the stinging was getting worse and so I took off my black and blue striped underwear and looked to see if there was any reason my underwear would be causing me such pain. I could see nothing, so I put them back on and continued about my morning. Only after about a minute the stinging was unbearable, so I went in to get my glasses. With my glasses on I was able to see that my underpants were covered in fire ants. A trip to the mirror confirmed that I too was covered in fire ants. OUCH! Thank goodness for the power spray on my shower head was able to dislodge and drown those stinging arthropods.

With my glasses on I was able to see that the clothes “spot” was covered in fire ants. Where they came from I have no clue. They were not in any other spot in the room or any of the other rooms. How special that they chose my underclothes.

This was not the best day for this to happen to me as it was a very busy day at work, but what could I do but what follow my dad’s advice of “just grin and bear it.” Only what I really wanted to do was “bare” it as wearing clothes hurt.

I was very careful about not drinking much today because I was afraid of how that would feel. When I got home I could no longer hold my luncheon tea and had no choice but to go to the bathroom. I am so glad I waited until I got home because I am sure that the women at the ladies’ luncheon would not have understood the screams that came from my bathroom this afternoon.

Now my youngest wants to know why I put the underwear back on when I thought there was a problem, even if I could not see a problem. My only explanation was that my brain just was not awake.

I did check the area tonight and there were no fire ants there, so I guess God just thought I needed to have a special wake up call this morning.

Old Friends

I reconnected with an old boy friend through Facebook. A lot of time has passed and other than emails our paths will probably never cross again, but it is nice to think back to those times we spent together.

I dated him long before I dated Raymond, and maybe even when I was dating Raymond because Raymond and I were not exclusive for a long time. G was 4 years younger than I was, but we had lots of fun. I'm glad to know he is well.

I can think of a few other old friends I would like to reconnect with, but I haven't found them on the internet. Some I would like to exchange emails with, others I would only want to know that they are alive and well.

I Want to go to Bed

I am so tired. It has been a very full day and I would love to climb into my bed but I can't because there are 6 - 15 year old boys running around my five acres playing midnight tag (even though it is really 1:19 a.m.), and until all of them are back in this house I need to stay awake.

I am allowing my youngest to have his friends over tonight and next Saturday night to say goodbye. Six of them are spending the night. The playroom smells like a locker room, and I don't think I bought enough food. Next week I will have more food and put some odor absorbing gel around the room.m

I can't even sleep late in the morning. I guess an afternoon nap will be scheduled.

Good Thing I Live Close to Work

I almost wet myself at work today.

If you have never seen my work space you understand when I say that my actual work space is very tight. My "desk" is a folding table that is 2 feet wide and just deep enough for my monitor and keyboard. My "desk" is sandwiched between a counter/cabinet combo and a very large deep file cabinet. A large copier is behind me. Most days you can hear me cry out at least a couple of times because my mouse has fallen off the side of the "desk."

Today I was standing up fiddling with the paper tray on my printer when I heard my boss let out a garbled shriek and saw something flying at me out of the corner of my eye. I let out quite a scream and fell towards the counter while shouting "What? What?"

For some reason I got it in my head that there was a snake in the office. So for a split second I was freaked out and I really thought I would wet myself. Fortunately, I was standing with my legs crossed in order to reach the printer, so I was okay.

When I turned to see what had happened I realized that what was flying at me was a large arrangement of flowers. My boss was carrying it towards me and it was top heavy for the vase it was in and it had gone flying. It was quite a mess, and the green foam stuff was all over my chair and floor as well as the flowers. I told her that she almost made me wet myself and that I needed out of the corner so I could get to the bathroom. She started laughing and I told her to stop that until I got out of the bathroom. She just laughed harder and I had to go running.

We had quite a laugh while we cleaned up the flowers as did the other ladies working at the church this morning.

I'm just thrilled I live so close to the church, because any more incidents like this one and I might need a change of clothes, at least until I get used to the new bosses' different shrieks.

Favorite Robe

I am sure that some of my friends have not recovered from the sight of my favorite slippers. Well, unbeknownst to most, I have a favorite robe. Now I know that some of my friends will see these pictures and want to run out and buy me a robe. I want to assure those friends that I have a closet full of robes, but this one is my favorite. I think my mother gave it to me in 1994, although it might have been 1995.

Last year my aunt went out and bought me two new robes and asked me to throw my favorite robe away, but I could not make myself throw out my comfort robe.

Raymond hated this robe even when it was new. He asked me to get rid of it, but while he was hoping it would hit the rag bag I was out looking for one just like it in other colors. Raymond just did not get the idea of a favorite piece of clothing because he was not partial to any particular shirt or pair of pants, just a style.

My favorite robe is thin and texture free in the front due to years of rubbing against the counter when I do dishes. It is splitting out everywhere, not because it is tight but because the fabric is so thin on the sides where my arms have rubbed against it while I have cleaned.

One of the reasons I love this robe is it's shape and the fact that I can wear it over clothes when I am cold.

Tonight I went to put on the robe and there was a loud splitting sound. I panicked with the thought that it might be the end. I carefully removed the robe and checked it out. Whew, it wasn't as bad as it sounded.

I immediately went to my new sewing machine and zigzagged all the splits the best I could, and now I am sitting here in my repaired robe hoping that nothing else happens to it for another 20 years.

Front of Robe Texture Worn Away



Back splitting



Right Side

Left Side

Farkle

I love to play Farkle at home with the boys, and I have really enjoyed playing it online lately on Facebook because my boys have been so busy we haven't had a lot of play time.

Recently I earned enough points on Facebook to go "pro" which means I can play with other online Farkle players. I have enjoyed playing with others as it feeds into my competitive streak but I have not decided if I like the talkative players or not. Sometimes I just want to play a quick game to relax before I start a project, or before I go to bed, but some of the players "talk" so much it takes forever to finish the game.

It is interesting to play with people from all over the world, but sometimes I just want to roll, score, and leave. On the other hand, I have been invited to see the singing Santa at the Fashion Mall in Las Vegas in December and to bring the boys because they have showgirl elves. (OK, my friends can stop laughing now.)

Places I Have Been

visited 21 states (42%)

Create your own visited map of The United States or Like this? try: Visited Countries

I had trouble deciding about a couple of the States as I had been through them and had a meal there, but not really stayed in the State. When you traveled with my Dad you didn't get to stay in too many places.

I still remember how mad Raymond was the day Dad decided that we should all go see the grave of Sgt. Alvin York in Pall Mall, TN. Raymond and I were dating and thought it would be a good day trip with my parents. Both of us were looking forward to seeing a different part of Tennessee. The distance between our house and the cemetery was about 127 miles, and I forgot that Raymond had never traveled with Dad before and was not used to Dad's way of taking a trip.

We drove to the cemetery and got out to go see the site. Once we saw it, Dad said "Well there it is, let's go" and back in the car we went. Raymond was really ticked. All I could do was shrug my shoulders.

We did stop at a little diner for lunch, which I thought we should be thrilled about because usually we would have just driven straight back to the house, but Dad thought it was a special trip because Raymond was with us. Raymond was still mad while we were eating. In fact, Raymond never really got over that sightseeing trip. We laughed about it all the years we were married.

Missing Raymond

I am missing Raymond tonight and decided I wanted him on here with me so I can pop up some of my favorite pictures no matter where I am. Thanks Sis.



Christmas '81



January 2, 1982



Free Photo probably around '84

On one of our trips back to KY before kids

On a hike, on vacation



Raymond and our dog, Waltzing Matilda

Raymond, Arlie Sparks (my dad), and G.T. Catron (his grandpa)

On another hike.

Raymond won a car on the radio!

We move to our dream property in 1993.

Best Vacation Ever! Top of Laurel Falls
Smokey Mountains, TN

At the cabin in the Smokey Mountains, TN

Christmas

One of our last vacations, Pine Meadow Cabins, Broken Bow, OK

Yes, I know he doesn't look well in this picture, but his illness did not keep us from enjoying life.

Raymond's Avatar

I miss you Raymond. You would be so proud and amazed at our boys.

I can have happy days, but they are never as bright without you.