Someone Who Knows

I have a new friend. She has a nursing background. She is the first person, besides Raymond's doctors and nurses, I've met that really reacted when I told her what kind of cancer Raymond had. Most people do not understand what I mean when I say "osteosarcoma." She got it. I really can't explain how that made me feel. The closest I can come is comforting.

I am someone that knows, and my children should be aware that their dad suffered. I know we sheltered the boys from some of the most extreme days Raymond had, but they were here for many of the days. It is because of this I am aggravated with my oldest.

My oldest is having his wisdom teeth extracted this morning. He is 17 years old and, in my opinion, acting like a baby. He is upset because he can't have anything to drink and he is thirsty. He is upset he can't have breakfast. To me these are just little inconveniences.

I know that part of this is because he is scared. He has not had as much as a filling since he had surgery at 3. I know that surgery was traumatic for a little boy in the way it was handled by a mean nurse, but he is old enough to buck up and not whine about this.

I guess I am aggravated because I think that after all he has witnessed with his father he should know not to complain about not being able to drink water or have breakfast.

It is going to take a lot of patience for me to get through today with him. Hopefully, he will be better after it is all over and he realizes it wasn't as bad as he has built it up in his mind. If not, there will be problems in this house. I am willing to baby him for a few days, and carry out all his wishes, because that is my job as his mother and I love him. I will even listen to complaints about pain and sympathize. However, if he whines about the inconveniences of not being able to eat what he wants or brush his teeth, he will probably not like my response.

Raymond once went 28 days without food because he was too sick from the chemo to eat. Raymond often couldn't brush his teeth because of the mouth sores caused by chemo. There are millions of people in the world with no dental care. There are millions of people in the world suffering in ways we cannot even begin to comprehend. No, I won't put up with a lot from him during his recovery.

I will give him full warning on the way home as to what complaints I will accept and what complaints he better swallow. Harsh, maybe, but my boys are used to that. I am a mother with high expectations when it comes to how my children behave, and I am proud of that. Hopefully, his resentment won't last long. If it does, I'll ask my youngest to take care of me in my old age.