I said "goodbye" to my brother Sunday afternoon. He left for California. I knew he would leave once my mother either got better and was able to come home, or until she died. I just did not know how hard his leaving would be on me.
I feel very alone now. It is not like I saw much of my brother, even when he only lived 30 minutes away due to Dallas traffic. He has never really helped me with any of my burdens. In fact we have gone for years without ever seeing each other, but no matter what he is my only family. Yes, I have an uncle/aunts/cousins, but we have been away from each other for so many years that we are not really close, we just keep in touch.
Even my oldest realized that once his Uncle left it was just the three of us because he came in and said so, which just made me cry.
I do not want to be alone, and yet I am even though I have two wonderful boys and lots of friends.
It is a hard concept to express in writing, but not in my heart.
1 comment:
I understand feeling alone even though there are others around. Believe me -- I know. I am sorry that you are feeling this way.
Sometimes when I feel this way I turn to Joshua 1:5 where God said to Joshua "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
But I know that doesn't take the pain away.
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