It is not just my oldest. I hear "I love you" being tossed lightly around with several young couples, some that have just been out on a date a couple of times.
It doesn't bother me because I am old fashioned, it bothers me because I think everyone should have a great moment of hearing those words from someone really special. When it is just tossed around without the true heart felt emotion that should be felt with the words, then there is no moment.
I did not tell every guy I dated I loved him. In fact I can only think of four that I did love. The first one I dated on and off for four years, and if I saw him today my heart would still flip flop, but I knew we would never ever make it as a married couple. I loved him, but he was never ever going to be what I needed in my life, even though he was very good to me. He was just very horrible to himself I hope he is having a good life.
The second one I dated for over a year. I look back on it now and know it was not a true love. In fact it was more like a forced, he wore me down love. At the time I thought he was my whole world, but now I realize it was because he did not let me have any other world. I am not saying he was abusive, or obsessive, just immature and needy. I lost contact with a lot of friends during that time, some of them I never found my way to again.
The third one I was really crazy about, but we both had tempers and had a bad habit of getting into snits and not talking them out. In fact our relationship ended because of a misunderstanding that could have been easily mended if we had just talked. He really was a good guy, and I hope he has everything he ever wanted in life because he deserves it.
With Raymond it was very different. He chased me for a long time, and there was a year between on first and second date. We must have been meant for each other though because we made it through some rough times, mainly because of Raymond being so sure that he loved me. It was a long time before I ever told Raymond I loved him, and I can remember it to this day. I can't tell you the day, the hour, or anything like that, except that most likely it was a Sunday. I can tell you we were in my dorm room, my senior year of college, and Raymond was helping me move in. I wanted my bed bunked and he was doing that for me. It was really hot, with no working a/c, and we were up on either the 5th or 7th floor. Raymond was having trouble getting the bed together and was drenched in sweat, and I could tell he was really miserable. I looked over at him and it hit me, in fact it hit me really hard. I loved this man. This man that was working so hard to make sure I was happy. This man that was always trying to make sure I was happy and safe. So I told him. I said "I love you." I remember him looking up at me and saying "What did you say." Not because he hadn't heard me, but because he didn't believe I said the words he had been waiting to hear for such a long time. So I told him again. It was really a very special moment, and started our true life together.
Couples that just toss "I love you" back and forth right away in their relationship have no idea what they are missing. I'm so glad I had my moment.
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