I Should Just Be a Puddle

I’m on fire!!! I am melting from the inside out.

I had a full hysterectomy along with a bonus appendectomy in 1997, and have been plagued by hot flashes every since. The side effects of the medications to stop the hot flashes are really not worth the risk for cooler nights.

The hot flashes come and go. I have gone a year without one; I have also had weeks with a hot flash every day. Lately it seems that every time we have an extremely humid day, or stormy day, I get a hot flash that will not go away.

Last night was humid, last night was miserable, as is this morning.

My skin feels like it is being burned off my body from the inside because my blood has become hot flowing lava. My neck is soaking wet. That seems to be the only part of my body that can sweat during these hot flashes. The sweat drips down my back or soaks my bed all night long.

If I turn on the bedroom fan I get chilled and start shivering. I turn the fan off and I can't breathe because the heat from my body seems to be peeling the paint off the walls and taking all the air out of the room.

My clothes feel damp, like the dryer just didn’t quite do its job. If I put on anything that is tight I feel as if there is a boa constrictor wrapped around my body squeezing with the intent to take the last breath from my body.

I was on the phone last night and I finally had to tell my friend that I had to go and rub ice all over me. She laughed, but that is just what I needed to do to keep from going insane.

I am so miserable today that I fully expect that when the day is over I will just be a puddle on the floor. Guess that confirms what many people say about me … I am a wicked witch. “I'm melting, melting.”