I am really struggling tonight.
There is nothing anyone can do to help. I know that my friends will all see this and call and ask if they can help, but they can't. I don't even want to talk to anyone about it.
I think I made a huge mistake. I think I have ruined my youngest's life. I didn't have Raymond here to talk to and help me take inventory and now here I am crying in my chair and wishing I had thought to discuss this with Raymond before he died.
We tried to cover everything. We would sit and discuss the future and try to think of things that might come up and how we would handle it, but I can't remember us discussing this and now I am sitting here terrified that I have really screwed up.
I am going to see my youngest tomorrow and we will discuss my decision. In the meantime I will pray. I will also yell and scream at Raymond and beg him to let me know that it will be okay.
If it isn't...I pray the youngest will forgive me.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Really Struggling
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
There was a double rainbow over Lucas tonight. God is with us.
Hmmm Double rainbow. Iguess that cocers your son and the wonderful meeting. I just spoke to God and she said everything was going to be ok!!
We parents always think we have made a very bad decision on behalf of our children. Seems God always leads us down the right path. You are going the very best that you can, and God knows that. If you need me, just call. I'll be three to support you. Our children don't always made the right decision. That is part of growing up. I am starting a new medicine at 7 this morning in adition to the one at 8 and one at nine. I have a chart in order not to miss the right order. You all will know the right order, too. Things will work out.
I survived the funky storms on the way to pick up M... I'm sure that things will work out. Your kiddos are fairly resilient and have a whole lot of life left, so I'm positive you haven't ruined it. Big Hugs!!!!
Whatever is weighing so heavily on your mind will be okay. The boys know that you only have their best interests at heart. You will get through this.
Sending a big hug your direction.
I am positive you have not ruined his life. You are too hard on yourself and I know that Raymond will send a sign that it is all okay.
Light and Love, Little One.
Thanks to you all. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. See new post. I am over it.
Post a Comment