I have had a year mired down by something I cannot begin to explain to anyone. I can tell people about it, but no one really understands. I would so love to be able figure out how to get my brain out of this mud, but I just seem to continue to sink.
The only thing I am sure of these days is how blessed I am by the people in my life. It has been especially clear to me this week as tragedy has hit home for many of my loved ones. It is truly amazing to me that I have so many people who love me and are there for me. I only hope they know how much they are appreciated by me and how much I love them back.
As I sit and count my blessings tonight, I know I will never completely drown in the mud. Someone will always be there to offer me a stick to hold on to.
Maybe someday I will be strong enough or brave enough to climb out of the mud, but first I have to be able to know I can live with the consequences in the future. The problem with living with the consequences is that I have already suffered them before and I don't know if I do it again.
Then again, mud is supposed to have restorative powers, so who knows maybe if I stay mired down long enough I will be completely detoxified and restored.
Or I can just roll on the floor laughing myself silly thinking about how my dear friend misunderstood me one day and thought I said "mud" when I really said "mug." Inside joke, but oh so very funny.
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