I Need a Cry, But I Might Not Stop

I have been struggling with sadness since early last night.  I think the sadness is an accumulation of several things.  

This coming weekend is my 35th high school reunion.  I considered attending this reunion, but when I considered how few people I wanted to actually spend time with vs cost and time, I decided to sit this one out.  After all I have had several conversations on Facebook with the ones I wanted to reconnect with and I am not sure what else we would have to cover in person.  What is making me sad is remembering the ones that are no longer with us and how tragic some of their deaths were. Tributes to some of these classmates have been going up on our reunion page and to see their children grown along the grandchildren they never got to see has been a little overwhelming.  Also, I had a phone call from an old classmate last night and as we discussed the reunion, it made me blue to think of how we all lost touch over the years.

I am also sad because a friend of 36 years told me about a horrible accident he had when he was 15.  The accident included broken bones and a head injury.  The head injury totally changed his life and he is just now beginning to deal with the repercussions of the after effects of the injuries. What makes me sad is how if he had received the proper follow up care from his head injuries his life could have been so much better.  I also feel sad that he felt he had to keep his injuries secret from every one because he was ashamed of having such a hard time recovering from the head injury.  So much of what he has gone through in life could have been avoided if he had the support he needed back then.  I did not meet him until a couple of years after the accident, and had no clue he had been through so much back then.

As if I wasn't sad enough, I received pretty devastating news at work this afternoon.

I feel the need for a good cry, but I also have the feeling that if I start crying I might not stop.