53 Came in Like a Hurricane!

A lot of stuff has happened this week. I feel like have been in a hurricane.

First part of the storm came Tuesday night as 1975 came slamming into my life with a simple friend request on Facebook. It is now Saturday morning and since Tuesday night I have spent a little over 13 hours on the phone trying to get to 2012.  Mina says I am like a giddy teenager, and she is right.  It is like going on a date every night, he even asks permission to call, and I get the same butterflies in my stomach I did all those years ago when I knew he is going to call. I have to admit I am a little freaked out, but I still have my common sense and logic to fall back on. Being the true gentleman he always was he is letting me set the pace and we are being very cautious. It helps that he is freaked out too.

The storm got really fierce in my heart when the "love that never was" called to tell me some bad news.  All the emotions tied up in that relationship knocked me around at about 180 mph.  He wants me to be happy and move on, but I know that no matter how much he wants to really mean that, he will be really hurt when it happens.  Hurt seems to be a huge part of our lives together and apart.

The eye of the storm came during the birthday celebrations and being with all the people I love.  I know that no matter what happens I have people who love me and will guide me through the days.

The storm strengthened on Thursday.  Changes are coming about at work and I might have to resign.  As much as I love my job, I still have to put myself and my family first when it comes to our financial well-being. Talk about scary!  I have been at that job for over four and 1/2 years, and in that close knit community for 12 years.  I am heartbroken.  I am trying to be upbeat about it when I am talking to people, but when I am alone I just sob. 

I don't know what the future holds, none of us do. Right now mine looks exciting with the trip to Alaska, and scary as hell with the thought of not having a job, and changing relationships.

53 came in like a hurricane!